It is difficult for parents with three kinds of \”poverty\” to raise promising children. I hope you don\’t have them.

Recently, a popular TV series \”Little Willing\” has caused a lot of discussion on the Internet. Mi Tao in the TV series is a distressed little girl whose parents are migrant workers in the city and make a living by doing odd jobs. Fortunately, Mi Tao is very upbeat and a top student. Without attending any cram school, Mido Que easily ranked first in the exam, but her excellent grades did not make her parents feel proud or cherished. Like the parents of ordinary Chinese families, because the family is not wealthy, Mi Tao\’s parents often remind her to be a frugal person. They always emphasize that it is not easy to make money, and everything they do is frugal. It was for her that she made Mitao study hard to get into a good university and repay her parents\’ efforts. Under the constant moral kidnapping of her parents, Mi Tao became more and more inferior. The word \”poor\” distorted her parents\’ life, and also took away the vitality and happiness that should belong to her age. When she saw that Xia Huanhuan, a middle-class family, had countless toys and clothes that she had never seen before, and that Xia Huanhuan\’s father always used money to take them to dinner, she, who already had low self-esteem, felt even more unbalanced. The gap between families can be so wide. Later, under the high expectations of her parents, Mitao became more and more painful and anxious, and began to suffer from depression. She was redeemed in the TV series, but the Mi Tao in the original book may be the reality. The troubles she had nowhere to resolve made her unable to adapt to life in the city. She returned to her hometown and changed from a genius girl to a tea plantation girl. She is quite \”kind of\”. The sadness and helplessness of \”hurt Zhongyong\”. Is this really the fault of being poor? There is nothing wrong with being poor, but being \”poor\” is a serious fault. Do you still remember Pang Zhongwang, who was admitted to Tsinghua University in 2017? This student who earned his tuition by picking up scraps was admitted to Tsinghua University and is now a PhD candidate at Tsinghua University. His start was on \”hell difficulty\”. His father suffered from schizophrenia, his mother had lower limb disabilities and relied on a wheelchair. The family had no financial resources. Pang Zhongwang earned tuition by picking up scraps at a young age. Despite this, he has never felt sorry for himself or felt inferior. He has been talented and studied hard since he was a child. The walls of his home are covered with his certificates. Whether in the news media or in daily life, he always has an optimistic and warm smile on his face. From picking up scraps to going to school and now getting a doctorate from Tsinghua University, Pang Zhongwang has repeatedly said in front of the media that he is very grateful to his mother. Without his mother, he wouldn\’t be what he is now. Someone once asked him, do you feel inferior because of your family situation? Pang Zhongwang smiled and said, I have a wise mother who is optimistic and strong. My family is so warm. Why should I feel inferior? Although the family is poor, his mother has no \”poverty\” at all. Countless well-wishers have tried to help Pang Zhongwang, but his mother politely declined. Although the family is poor, her mother still wants him to choose to be self-reliant and let him understand \”poverty.\” And you will become stronger and will not fall into the clouds.\” People around him commented that he was an optimistic and cheerful big boy. During that visit, he showed the reporter a family photo. In the photo, Pang Zhongwang smiled warmly like his mother, and always showed a sense of resilience in his body. Unwavering optimism and positivity. Regrettably, in 2020, Zhongwang’s mother Pang Zhiqin passed away due to illness. Although her body turned into dust,The love and optimism she left behind for Pang Zhongwang will always protect him. In fact, it is never poverty that destroys people, but \”poverty\”. It is difficult for parents with \”poverty\” to raise promising children. First of all, \”poorness\” does not refer to the concrete material aspects such as plain clothing and poor family, but refers to the spiritual poverty of parents who are narrow-minded, short-sighted, and keen on morally kidnapping children to satisfy their own personal ideas. Secondly, \”nobility\” never means wearing famous brands. Nobility is a kind of self-improvement, cheerful and optimistic spiritual temperament, and it is the tenacity and wisdom that are hard to find. The famous educationist Froebel once said a saying that is well known to women and children: parents are their children\’s first teachers. Because children in their early years learn life skills and knowledge through imitation, then the people they can imitate are their parents, which is the prototype of their character. Wahson, a representative of the behavioral psychology school, once said wildly: \”Give me a dozen babies, and I will raise them to be whatever I want them to be.\” The influence of the environment on people It is subtle and far-reaching. Psychologist Piaget once proposed that individuals will exhibit assimilation behavior when adapting to the environment. The so-called assimilation is to change one\’s own behavior to adapt to changes in the outside world in order to maintain psychological balance. Therefore, \”Parents are the mirror of their children, and children \”They are the shadow of their parents.\” Parents who are \”poor\” are likely to educate \”spiritually poor children\” who have low self-esteem and sensitivity, and vice versa. Therefore, Pang Zhongwang became as \”noble\” as his mother, a brave man who constantly strives for self-improvement. If parents always have short-sighted ideas in education, it will be difficult for children to develop a sound personality and a sound psychology in such a flawed family, and it will also be difficult for their children to make a difference. Specifically, the following three behaviors of parents represent three types of poverty. 1. Praising one\’s own efforts and asking for more rewards from children is a sign of parents\’ own poverty. Parents always emphasize their contribution and \”I do all this for you\”. They use moral kidnapping to make their children feel guilty, thereby improving their own status and controlling their children\’s behavior. In essence, this kind of behavior is extremely selfish and will make children develop an inferiority complex and sensitive character, always feeling that they are inferior to others. 2. Disrespecting children\’s opinions and personality, always belittling their children in front of outsiders, and stepping on their children\’s pain in exchange for others\’ praise. This is also a \”poor\” behavior. What is thought to be an act of keeping the child humble is actually a complete disregard for the child\’s emotional needs. Maslow\’s hierarchy of needs theory states that everyone has a need to be respected and a need for self-actualization. 3. Value your own authority and have a strong desire to control your children, which is also a kind of poverty. When educating children, it is easy to ignore the objective development laws of children, educate them exactly according to their own will, and never allow children to go against their own wishes from childhood to adulthood. On the surface, it seems to be \”for your own good\”, but in fact it isUsing such authority to squeeze children to satisfy one\’s own ideas will not only plant a \”time bomb\” for the breakdown of the parent-child relationship, but will also make children become extremely inferior or violent, making it impossible to cultivate children with a \”noble\” temperament. All in all, \”poverty\” is more often a wrong educational concept and three views. The nobility of a family does not depend on whether the material is superior or not, but whether the parents\’ spiritual world is rich. Materials will disappear, but the spirit is eternal. of. Poverty is not the original sin, nor is it terrible. What is terrible is being trapped in the \”poverty\” from generation to generation.