My thoughts on accompanying my children through six years of primary school

I finished reading the book \”Accompanying My Child Through Six Years of Elementary School\” when my son was about to graduate from elementary school, which was a bit late. Chinese parents are very lacking in family education knowledge. If they do not strengthen their studies in the later period, they will unknowingly miss the growth of their children, and if they miss some growth, they will miss it. That\’s how I was. Unknowingly and in a daze, I missed many of my boss\’s cultivation of habits, development of interests, and solid foundation. I really regret it. There are many versions of a book called \”Accompanying Children through Six Years of Primary School\” on the Internet. I have bought a book with the same name before, but the author is another person. The book \”Accompanying Children through Six Years of Primary School\” written by teacher Liu Chenglian mainly tells about the author\’s practical records of educating his daughter to become an adult. They are all small cases, so it will not be boring to read. It is also relatively easy to use and worth reading. The whole book mainly talks about the following contents: Part One: Life, the more you play, the better you become. 1. Playthings do not necessarily lead to despondency. In the process of playing, children can easily learn knowledge that is impossible to learn in the classroom. A research-based environment should be created for children at home so that they can learn through experience and practice. Discuss with your child that after finishing homework every night, there will be a \”play time\”. The length of time will be adjusted according to the child\’s completion of homework, which can be one hour or half an hour. Swinging downstairs, playing backgammon or poker are all part of the games. Teacher Liu and Mr. Liu like to play poker with their daughter most, and her daughter likes to \”fight for the top\” or \”fight the landlord\” the most. Through playing cards, they cultivate the quality of \”can afford to lose\” in their children, rather than blindly letting them \”win\”. Parents let their children only experience the joy of winning out of love, and the children will become very fragile when they encounter setbacks outside. I feel this very deeply. The second child will be very unhappy and even cry when he plays chess with his elder brother or grandpa. \”Game time\” can exercise many children\’s abilities, allowing her daughter to be very focused and fast when doing homework, because she knows that good things are waiting for her after finishing the homework. An important reason why some children procrastinate in homework is to cope with the extra homework assigned by their parents. The child\’s psychology is: Since I have finished the homework assigned by the teacher quickly and there will be new homework, it is better to write slower and extend the time, so that my parents will not assign new homework to me. In comparison, promising to give the child some \”sweeteners\” after the homework is completed will increase the child\’s motivation to learn and make it easier to complete the homework as soon as possible. Teacher Liu also designated Sunday as \”Family Day\”, which means that neither adults nor children can arrange other things on this day, and everyone can do activities together. This is very rare. 2. Nature is a wordless book. Expose your child to nature as much as possible during his formative years. Playing with snow is getting to know snow, and looking at a tree is getting to know a tree. Facing a natural world, children put their body and mind into it to perceive its beauty. Such a process of experiencing happiness and exercising bravery is also a process of helping children build their personality. This is the truth that people often say, \”Read ten thousand books and travel ten thousand miles.\” 3. Breeding and planting: experience the magic of life. femaleThroughout her daughter\’s primary school years, Teacher Liu\’s family has never stopped raising small animals, and because her daughter loves insects, insects are frequent visitors to her home. In addition to satisfying the child\’s curiosity and accompanying her to raise small animals, she will also plant some plants at home with her to let her understand the habits of plants. Educator Rousseau said to parents in \”Emile\”: \”Do you know how to make your children suffer? That is: obedience.\” 4. There are many benefits of exercising since childhood. Sports can make children healthy and energetic, help children improve their learning efficiency, increase their self-confidence, enhance their popularity in the group, and bring them closer to their classmates. Sports can also train children\’s collaborative spirit and prepare them for the future of society. prepare for. Part 2: Reading, soaking in the sea of ​​books. If parents create a reading atmosphere for their children, children may like reading; if parents create a TV-watching atmosphere for their children, children may like watching TV. Let children have books to read, let children read books. \”Having books to read\” means having books suitable for children to read at home; \”reading books\” means allowing children to have access to books. 1. Let the bookstore become the \”second study room\”. Choose books that are suitable for children to read. To satisfy curiosity, children need to read more books; to learn knowledge, children need to read more books. 2. Newspapers and magazines, fresh knowledge. There is no doubt that extracurricular reading is very important. If large books are delicacies, then newspapers and magazines are side dishes on the table. Letting children develop the habit of reading is like installing an engine for them. Developing the habit of reading from an early age can not only enrich children\’s knowledge, but also improve their learning abilities. Children who read a lot have strong comprehension skills. Not only do they do well in Chinese, they are also very helpful in learning science knowledge. Parents guiding their children to learn to write essays is like a coach teaching their children to learn to swim. If they only teach the children the essentials of movements on the shore, the children may not be able to learn them. However, if the coach personally goes into the water and shows the children the movements, the effect will be better. With more water, children can learn to swim quickly. Children in first and second grade write compositions. The children speak and the parents write. The parents write it down verbatim. After writing, they read aloud the composition they just completed together to let the children feel whether it needs to be revised. In this process, parents are just assistants and do not give their children any advice. Instead, they fully mobilize their children\’s imagination and creativity and \”write\” a true composition that belongs entirely to the child. Part Three: Learning, learning is a piece of candy. The prerequisite for primary school students to like learning is to love school, love teachers, love classmates and be interested in learning. Only in this way will he be enthusiastic about learning and continue to grow and improve. Therefore, it is not necessary to deliberately spend too much thought on children\’s learning, but to find ways to make children fall in love with school and learning. In this part, Teacher Liu talked about the child peeing his pants in kindergarten and mentioned the manifestation of \”somatization of psychological problems\”. My daughter suffered a blow in the kindergarten. Although she couldn\’t express it, she was already boycotting the kindergarten in her heart. The parents didn\’t understand and still sent her to kindergarten every day. She is so small that she has no ability to resistIf I resist, I wet my pants subconsciously. To educate children, it is necessary to learn some psychology. 1. Wait patiently for children who are new to school. When the child does not do well, the child himself is often very anxious. If the school teacher criticizes him, he will unconsciously compare himself with other children, and he will naturally feel anxious and at a loss in his heart. At this time, he sincerely hopes that his parents can understand, be considerate and help him. If the parents also accuse him, the child\’s self-esteem will be trampled on for no reason, and it will be difficult to establish self-confidence. What parents need to do at this time is to see what ways they can think of to help their children. Parents are both instructors and companions in helping their children successfully pass the first stage of school. Parents should help their children in an accepting and loving way. For children in first and second grade to memorize words or recognize words, parents can make some cards and play card games with their children to help them remember the words. Parents are anxious and worried every day, which not only does not help, but children will also be affected by this anxiety and anxiety from adults and live in uneasiness. Children do not know how to do things in the first place, and coupled with fear and fear, they are more likely to do things slowly and make mistakes, so the efficiency and effect of doing things will definitely not be achieved. 2. Care for and satisfy children’s curiosity. When children ask questions, parents must answer them carefully. Even if parents don\’t know the answer, they should tell their children honestly and work with their children to find the answer. Answering children\’s questions carefully can satisfy their curiosity. Satisfied again and again, his desire to explore things is maintained. When it comes to learning, it is a good care for children\’s interest in learning. In primary school, parents should focus on cultivating interest in learning, and cultivating interest in learning must first satisfy children\’s curiosity. 3. Continuously motivate and build children’s self-confidence. For a child, when his sense of self-worth is satisfied, he likes to do something. The constant recognition and praise from adults will give the child a feeling of \”I am very powerful\”. This feeling is just right. It’s a feeling of confidence. When he does well, the parents promptly affirm and recognize him; when he fails to do it, the parents teach him how to do it and focus on solving the problem rather than grasping the child\’s problem. This is very important. The essential. Therefore, praising children more is the most effective way to save money and effort. Some psychologists call this kind of psychological satisfaction \”psychological nutrition for children.\” Teacher Liu told how her daughter ranked last in the class in math when she was in high school. Teacher Liu took out the report card that she had just passed in mathematics in high school, comforted and enlightened the child, and discussed countermeasures together. Through tutoring with the teacher, the score gradually improved. If parents do not complain or criticize when their children encounter difficulties, but instead work with their children to find solutions, look at their children objectively, and appreciate what their children have accomplished, then their children\’s self-confidence will not be affected. 4. A good mood is the \”magnet\” that makes you like going to school. To make students continue to like going to school, this requires parents to mobilize their wisdom and do something carefully without leaving any trace, so that children can gain happiness from communicating with classmates and teachers, and let children enjoy harmonious family relationships.With the company of others, I still have the enthusiasm to learn. For children, peers are very attractive. They can gain recognition from their peers or learn things that they do not have. In elementary school, having a few such good friends among your classmates is like having a few \”magnets\” that attract children to school, making them eager to go to school every day to see these classmates. Children who go to school also have a very important relationship, and that is the teacher-student relationship. Only by being close to one\’s teacher can one believe in one\’s teachings. Therefore, from the first day her daughter went to school, Teacher Liu tried to find ways to make her like every teacher. Parents express their appreciation and gratitude to their teachers and convey this appreciation and gratitude to their children, guiding their children to like and respect their teachers. To keep children in a good mood, harmonious family relationships are even more important. Family relationships include husband-wife relationships and parent-child relationships. 5. Develop study habits as early as possible. Study habits include daily preview and review, staged summaries, extracurricular reading, etc. Once these habits are developed before the child is 10 years old, they will be of great help to his subsequent studies and even his future work and life. Therefore, you should develop habits as early as possible, and don’t wait until problems arise. The initial development of a habit takes 21 days, while the basic development of a habit takes 90 days. To make a habit permanent, parents and children need to stick together for 3 months. Do your homework first when you get home every day, and then play after finishing your homework. In the lower grades, when we were not doing homework, we would play games with our children or take her to the Tsinghua campus to play. When I was in senior grade, my daughter would read extracurricular books after finishing her homework, and sometimes she would invite us to go out with her. In terms of cultivating study habits, guide your daughter to do things \”only for her own time\”. It means only doing one thing for a certain period of time and not doing other things in between. If you have any questions that you don’t know, wait until you have finished writing about this subject before asking your parents. After finishing one subject, take a break and then start writing another subject. Concentration should be cultivated anytime and anywhere. When the child observes the ants, do not disturb him; when the child puts together the building blocks, try to let him finish it; when the child watches the cartoon, allow him to finish one episode. The cultivation of children\’s concentration can be carried out in every aspect of life. 6. A good way to learn Chinese – reading and writing. Teacher Liu feels that when children first learn to write, there is no need to ask them to follow any grammar, nor should they set rules for children. Just let children write about the people and things around them, and write whatever they think. First, practice \”writing things out\” and The skill of \”writing true feelings\”. Of course, in order for children to write brilliant articles, they must have rich life experience and reading accumulation. 7. Lead children into the English world. Every night, as soon as her daughter goes to bed, Teacher Liu puts the tape into the tape recorder for her to listen to. Listen to this tape over and over again for a semester. After listening to it for a while, my daughter memorized all the texts and her pronunciation was very accurate because she imitated the voice of the announcer on the tape. In high school, children will copy all listening and \”New Concept English\” to MP4 and listen to it when they have time. \”English learning should start with listening.\” There is another easy and practical way to train your daughter\’s English listening.The method I use is to watch original English movies with my daughter. Teacher Liu watches English movies with her daughter every Friday. Teacher Liu believes that learning English is the same as learning Chinese. The purpose is nothing more than to enable children to have the ability to listen, speak, read and write. Regarding memorizing English words, Teacher Liu’s method is to tell the children the pronunciation rules of English words. Mastering the method of memorizing words will make learning English much easier. Otherwise, learning English will be quite difficult. 8. Be wary of children who are partial to science. Being partial to subjects is not destined by nature and can be avoided by fully developing children\’s intelligence. Even if there is a serious phenomenon of partiality in study, it is not incurable, but we must not tear down the east wall to make up for the west wall, pick up the sesame seeds and lose the watermelon, so that the advantageous subjects will fall behind. Being biased is nothing to be afraid of, but it must not be underestimated. From junior high school to the first year of high school, Teacher Liu\’s daughter spent almost all her spare time studying mathematics, physics and chemistry. She was so overwhelmed with her studies that she had no choice but to choose liberal arts when she was finally divided into subjects. Teacher Liu believes that her daughter\’s eventual partiality in learning has a lot to do with the imbalance of early intellectual development. If she could have noticed this earlier and consciously guided her daughter in arithmetic, numbers, logical reasoning, etc., she would not have been struggling to \”correct\” for the college entrance examination after high school. How to prevent children from being partial to subjects? Teacher Liu believes that we can start from the following points: First, build confidence. The second is to provide some targeted tutoring; whether it is parents’ own tutoring or extracurricular tutoring, for children’s weak subjects, we must pay attention to the basics of knowledge and the interesting methods. The third is to actively communicate with teachers and ask teachers to help stimulate children\’s interest and enthusiasm for the subject. Fourth, while avoiding partial subjects, we must maintain our leading position in dominant subjects. 9. Have tips for dealing with wrong questions. \”No one is a sage, how can he make mistakes?\” It is very normal for children to make mistakes from time to time in their studies, and parents should accept and allow their imperfections. However, how should we deal with mistakes so that they become fewer and fewer and ultimately improve performance? This is what we should pay attention to, and this is where we should remind our children and help them develop good habits. The advice given by Teacher Liu is to use the wrong question book to sort out mistakes at any time. The probability of making mistakes will become less and less, and the academic performance will be improved to varying degrees. In the third year of high school, because she was very nervous about studying, she didn’t have time to sort out all the wrong questions in the wrong question book, so her daughter marked the wrong questions on the exam paper with eye-catching pens, and packed the exam papers neatly without leaving them on the floor, and put them in a In the document bag. 10. The choice of extracurricular classes should consider the actual situation of the child. In a social environment with uneven educational resources and children with diverse needs, extracurricular classes can indeed make up for the shortcomings of school education. However, when choosing extracurricular classes, you must consider the actual situation of your child and whether it is actually helpful to your child before making a choice. The first is to respect children’s talents, that is, their outstanding performance in intelligence. The second is to respect children\’s interests. Only when children really like it can they learn something. The third is to respect the critical period of children\’s growth. Children have different needs at different ages. If you miss the critical period, it may be difficult to make up for it throughout your life. Part 4: TasteGe, we need to obey each other. Children in primary school need to develop moral and academic skills. If parents want their children to grow up to be responsible people, they must give their children the opportunity to learn as early as possible and teach them to the best of their ability to prevent their children from becoming \”cheating old people\” and \”white-eyed wolves\” in the future. Children will eventually leave their parents to live independently. Living independently requires life skills, and these life skills cannot be learned in school, but can only be learned in family life. 1. Honor your parents, starting from the adults. As children grow older, they will understand the principles of filial piety from various channels. However, no matter what filial piety is that they learn about in the future, the greatest impact on the child will be what he saw his parents do when he was a child. These will definitely sneak into his heart. Deeply, it achieves the effect of moisturizing things silently. There is an aunt in the family who is extremely unfilial to my grandmother, and my uncle is also a \”hep-controller\” and is weak and incompetent. My grandma\’s eyesight declined sharply in her later years, and she could only fumble around making fire and cooking every day while stuttering. Grandma lives with her uncle and aunt in a bungalow, which is cold in winter and hot in summer. Although the old man lived for more than ninety years, every day was difficult. My mother, every few days, rides her bicycle to deliver food and supplies to my grandma. Whether it is my uncle, aunt, or my mother, as children, everything they have done for my grandma will be seen in our eyes and remembered in our hearts. As the saying goes: \”People are doing it, God is watching.\” Karma and retribution, heaven\’s way of reincarnation. In the later years of my aunt and uncle\’s life, it is conceivable that the children must have treated them the same way they treated their grandma. The way I treat my mother must be the way my mother treats my grandma. 2. Only by doing it can you know the taste of life. The key to learning children\’s life skills and cultivating their moral character is when they are young. If parents want their children to become responsible people, they must give their children the opportunity to learn as early as possible and do their best to teach them to prevent their children from becoming \” \”Gnawing old people\” and \”white-eyed wolves\”. 3. Carefully protect your children’s cherishing of life. Cultivating and caring for children\’s love for other lives is a very important quality for a person. 4. What is more important than achievements is gains. Knowing where you went wrong is more important than your score. Whether you are helping or praising your child, you must describe the entire incident in detail so that your child can understand where he or she has problems and solve them in a targeted manner: where you have done well, you should persevere; where you are still lacking, you can do better. What parents need to do is to discover the shining points in their children, awaken the \”sleeping giant\” hidden in their children, and let their children grow into who they are, instead of comparing their children\’s shortcomings with the strengths of other children, and Forcing the child to do things he is not good at. Part Five: Psychology, Let the Angels Fly. Today\’s children also have a lot of energy and they can take care of themselves. They are not more fragile than we are, but we are more fragile than our parents. Parents of senior children should change their role from mentors to companions and guides. Children should be allowed to grow up in their own way, and guidance should be given when appropriate, rather than imposing one\’s own will on the child. 1. Let go appropriately and let the children grow up on their own. Children will eventually have to face the road of life independently.Just like learning to walk, only when parents loosen their hands can the child walk steadily; just like learning to ride a bicycle, only when parents loosen their hands can the car move forward quickly. The road of life is not like this. If parents give their children the opportunity to exercise from an early age, the children will become independent, confident, and responsible people. 2. Give children the right and opportunity to choose. Let your children practice making their own choices from an early age. In the future, they will not be so confused when choosing a career, lifestyle, and life partner, and they will be able to make decisions rationally, proactively, and calmly. 3. Parent-child communication requires heart-to-heart communication. Good parent-child communication requires thoughtful communication between parents and children. First, you need to have time to communicate with your children, then you need to understand your children and find a parent-child communication method that suits your family, and finally achieve the purpose of educating your children to grow up healthily and happily. When listening to your children, you must be attentive and attentive, and put aside your own things and thoughts. Otherwise, even if you are listening on the surface, your children will feel that you are perfunctory and will not open up to you. 4. Scientific guidance and healthy Internet access. Nowadays, the Internet has become an inseparable part of life. Children grow up in the information-based Internet age and do not want to be exposed to the Internet. There is no problem for children to use the Internet, but there is a problem if they spend too much time online and delay their study and life. Teacher Liu feels that there are several reasons why his daughter is not so obsessed with the Internet: First, she spends a lot of her spare time reading extracurricular books. Second, besides studying, a variety of entertainment activities were arranged for her daughter. The third is to satisfy children’s inner desires. Fourth, parents don’t play games. Fifth, do not put computers in your children\’s rooms. Fifth, set time limits for children to use the Internet. Sixth, use \”close contact\” to drive children off the Internet. 5. Entering adolescence, changing from guidance to companionship. Part Six: Communication, express love in another way. 1. Our family’s “mail box” and “BBS”. Teacher Liu set up a \”post office\” at home and set up three \”mailboxes\”. Everyone can write letters to each other, and the letters to whom they are written will be put into whose \”mailbox\”. Teacher Liu hung a hanging bag with three pockets on the door. Her daughter drew portraits on the outside of the three pockets and wrote the names of three people respectively. The advantage is that putting forward your thoughts in this way will generally not hurt the child\’s self-esteem. By converting your thoughts and emotions into words and writing them down, you will be much more rational and peaceful. In addition, parents and children write letters to each other, which not only strengthens parent-child interaction, but also exercises children\’s written expression skills. In addition, Teacher Liu also has a \”family diary\” at home. This diary is like the \”BBS\” at home, recording many good people and good things that happened in the family at that time. 2. Dad’s unique way of expressing love. For children, only by feeling the attention and love of their parents can they learn to value and cherish themselves. Only by valuing and cherishing your children can you have enough self-confidence. And self-confidence is a prerequisite for a person\’s success. 3. \”Contractual constraints\” are necessary. Although it is a little more troublesome to make an agreement with the child in the form of a written contract, it will indeed be helpful in cultivating the child\’s behavioral habits and study habits, and it will also effectively establishChildren\’s awareness of rules is a good thing that gets twice the result with half the effort. Teacher Liu once had a notebook at home, which was a \”family manual\”. The first few pages of the manual are \”Family Rules\” that were democratically proposed by the whole family and written down by the daughter. The code includes rules of conduct for everyone in daily life. The development of rules and goals should be specific, actionable, and evaluable. The daughter is the executive officer of the \”Family Rules\”. She writes the notices on the blackboard, and she collects and manages fines. When the money is accumulated to a certain level, the whole family goes to a restaurant or goes out for fun. Because she has power and money, her daughter is very serious and responsible. She will never tolerate those who violate the rules and must write them on the blackboard. Later, Teacher Liu reflected that it was a shortcoming that the \”Family Code\” did not have a reward system. Those who perform poorly should be punished, and those who perform well should be rewarded. However, the rewards must be in a certain way and amount, and cannot be performed for the sake of rewards. In the book, Teacher Liu also mentioned a set of \”Learning and Improvement Manuals\”, which included a training contract without any specific elaboration. 4. Don’t be a “helicopter” on your desk. With the company of their parents, it seems that the children complete the tasks well every day, but it creates a dependence on the children and cannot train the children\’s ability to independently explore and solve problems. In terms of the long-term growth of the children, they are used to relying on their parents. This \”crutch\” will also cause children to feel psychologically powerless, making them unable to face more complex social environments well in the future. Helicopter parents are parents who hover over their children like helicopters, monitoring their children\’s every move at all times. In fact, learning is the child\’s own business, and he should and must learn to complete it independently. It is enough for parents to help their children solve problems when they need it. The latest and most complete 2023 [Kindergarten, Junior High and High School] premium VIP course catalogs from famous teachers in various disciplines on the entire network, click to view now! Teacher Liu requires the children to do their homework alone in the room and is not allowed to come out to ask questions at any time. If there are any questions that you don’t understand, you should collect all the questions you don’t understand and ask your parents for help after finishing the homework in a certain subject. When a child encounters a word that he or she cannot write, parents should guide the child to look it up in the dictionary themselves and tell them how to look it up in the dictionary, rather than becoming their child\’s \”living dictionary.\” Children can independently solve puzzles through their own efforts and can exercise their ability to proactively solve problems. For children, learning more knowledge after looking up the dictionary by themselves can bring them a great sense of accomplishment. Children can do their own thing without parents interfering too much. Collect children\’s growth footprints. This part mainly talks about retaining children\’s compositions and printing them into anthologies. It\’s a heartwarming thing. 5. Small prizes awarded by Teacher Zhang. Parents sometimes feel at a loss when facing their children, so they might as well borrow the wisdom of teachers. Teacher Liu discussed with her daughter\’s math teacher and bought small prizes such as pottery people and cards to give to her daughter\’s teacher, and asked the teacher to distribute the prizes on her behalf to recognize the child\’s progress. Only when a child fully likes and admires his teacher can his interest in learning be improved and his learning results achieved. Teacher Liu also accompanied the childrenStart by drawing a big tree, and then finish a small task by drawing a beautiful fruit or flower. The child looked at the flowers and fruits that were constantly \”opening\” and \”bearing\” on the tree. He was very happy and completed the task more seriously. For parents, if you do this with your children, you will record the things that your children have done well every day, and you will also appreciate your children from the heart. When you look at your children with appreciation, you will like your children more and be more interested in your children. Love will sublimate. Then, the parent-child relationship will become more and more harmonious, and a harmonious parent-child relationship is the prerequisite for educating children. The book is very well written and worth buying and reading.