How to educate children aged 12 to 13

Many parents say that adolescence is like opening a blind box. Lucky parents encounter children who can survive smoothly, while troubled parents open it and encounter children who are in a state of panic every day. In fact, whether adolescence is a smooth transition or a constant turmoil is closely related to education before the age of 12. The child of a friend and colleague ran away from home after a quarrel with his parents some time ago. It took the parents four days to find him. His parents were so anxious that half of their hair turned white. This child has been very focused on learning since elementary school. Even on weekends, he attends extracurricular and interest classes one after another, and rarely goes out to play. The child\’s grades were indeed good, but after reaching junior high school, his grades continued to decline and he could not catch up. Parents feel that their children are too lazy and don\’t have enough strength. The children feel that this is the end of it if they try their best. Later, they simply stop studying. There are constant quarrels about studying at home every day. Finally, after a heated argument, the child ran away from home in anger. Her parents called the police and they searched for her for four days before she was found. Parents lamented in the group that fortunately their children just ran away from home. If anything had happened, the consequences would be unimaginable. Although children undergo huge changes in their brain development and heart during adolescence, some children can survive very stably, while some children have explosive moments and are at loggerheads with their parents. There are actually traces behind all this. Followable. The growth of a child is like building a tall building layer by layer. For any child who has trouble in adolescence, there are actually early signs. Especially children in primary school who have these two problems, none of them can escape. The first type – children who are pushed too hard to learn. Children who are too tough in primary school are likely to become flat and rotten in junior high school. Learning is a gradual and explosive process, and some children were squeezed too hard in elementary school. In junior high school, when subjects were added and the amount of learning increased dramatically, some children collapsed. Especially those children who tried their best in elementary school but failed to achieve outstanding results will find it difficult to find confidence in junior high school, become easily discouraged, and simply stop studying. A junior high school teacher I know told me that in recent years, more and more children in junior high schools are tired of studying, and almost every year there are children who drop out of school. Most of them are kids who were bullied in elementary school. Their energy has been drained out. They simply give up and refuse to study. They give up on themselves and even get tired of studying. The second type – children with problems in their parent-child relationship. Any child with problems in the parent-child relationship will definitely be unable to be controlled by his parents when he reaches adolescence. Children who were pampered and indulged in elementary school are in a state of getting angry at the slightest attention. Some children will even seize the right to speak. Most parents can only obey everything and have nothing to do. Children who lack the company of their parents in primary school are very resistant to their parents\’ control. They are in a state where they cannot be beaten or listened to, and their relationship with their parents is as cold as freezing point. Children whose parents disciplined them too harshly when they were young are prone to rebound in adolescence. He works against you in everything and takes extreme actions at every turn, which is very scary. An unhealthy parent-child relationship will lead to abnormal adolescent growth. Adolescent children undergo tremendous changes in their hearts. Their self-awareness increases, they long for separation from their parents, they look forward to growing up, and they hope they can have the final say in everything. If the relationship between the child and his parents is not good before the age of 12, and the child grows up depressed and hard,At this stage, children will explode, become sensitive, selfish, willful and rebellious, and like to go against their parents in everything. However, children who seek to grow up independently can easily feel confused and lost due to lack of life experience, and become pessimistic. Many children suffer from depression, boredom and other problems. Adolescence is the most important and special period in a child\’s growth. If the child is under 12 years old, parents should prepare the ground and guide them to avoid future troubles. If the child is already 12 years old, parents should learn how to communicate with their children. , to prevent children from acting like monsters. For this reason, parents need to – 1. Pay more attention to things other than learning. If your child only sees learning in your eyes, be prepared to fall out at any time during adolescence. We must recognize the fact that geniuses are only a minority, and most of our children are just ordinary people. Therefore, we should not be too obsessed with grades, but should pay more attention to growth other than learning. Does your child like to read widely? Does your child like sports? Does the child have any hobbies that he is good at? Can the child get along harmoniously with his classmates? Is the child optimistic and positive, with a good personality and stable emotions? A person\’s growth is three-dimensional and multi-faceted. Don\’t beat the child to death with a stick, but pay attention to and guide the child from multiple aspects. Let the child become a living person rather than a learning machine. A child\’s physical and mental health and cheerful personality are much more important than academic performance. Sow character and reap destiny. Only in a family environment where parents are loving but not pampering, more helpful and less pressured, more guided and less controlled, more encouraged but less criticized, more tolerant but not harsh, can children gradually develop a healthy personality. 2. Provide good companionship and logistics. Every parent has his or her own way of educating their children during adolescence. There are hundreds of methods, but they remain the same. Companionship is the best education. Bottom-line love and adequate companionship are the most important things for children. Parents\’ bottom line will let their children know what to do and what not to do, have a basic moral bottom line, and have their own principles and boundaries in how to behave in the world. Sufficient companionship makes a child\’s heart full and warm. Sufficient love and companionship make a child who is restless in adolescence feel at ease. He knows that his parents who love him are by his side at all times, and he feels safe. For children at this stage, parents should talk less and do logistical work well, which is the greatest support for their children\’s growth. 3. Learn to understand children. Adolescence is the most important period in a child\’s life, when moral character and outlook on life are initially formed, and physical and other aspects develop rapidly. Because of the characteristics of adolescence, parents face many challenges when accompanying and educating their children: for example, the awakening of children\’s personal thoughts and the formation of their own set of values; for example, children\’s desire to be independent and to be able to go out of the house and see the world. If parents do not understand their children\’s confusion and the needs behind their children\’s behaviors, it will be difficult for them to communicate with their children. Although each of us has gone through adolescence, when we become parents, we still don’t understand our children. During this period, parents will see many incomprehensible words and deeds from their children. From the perspective of adolescent children, all of this is just them exploring the possibilities of life. If parents can have such a mentality to face the new changes in their children, then,All problems with your children will be solved. If parents want to learn to understand their children, they must learn to listen and think from their perspective. A complete set of Cute Eyes on the World and the History of Life on Earth on Baidu Cloud, a whole-brain science class for children aged 4-12. When your children talk to you, listen with your full attention instead of chattering or being silent. Instead of asking questions and giving advice, we can respond to their feelings with words and real emotions. Only by learning empathy and empathy, and being happy and sad with your child, can you understand your child\’s world and establish a true intimate relationship. Times are developing, and the thoughts of children in each generation are completely different. Only by continuous learning can we understand children, live in harmony with children, and learn to communicate and dialogue with children. Writer Liu Qing said: Although the road of life is long, there are often only a few critical steps, especially when people are young. For children, the age around 12 years old is such a critical period. Parents must grasp this critical period of their children. Children around 12 years old are \”semi-mature\”. They are independent and mature, but they are limited in experience and age and cannot be independent, which creates the most difficult period for family education. At this stage, parents must make great efforts to be learning parents, open-minded parents, and make progress together with their children. Although it is very hard, as long as you give your children more understanding, companionship, some independent space, and slowly guide them, you will be able to get through it easily.