37 students from a class of 55 entered Tsinghua University and Peking University. The teacher said: Famous schools do not select children, but parents.

\”As soon as my child entered the first grade of junior high school, he was already destined to go to Peking University. Why? I had planned it in advance.\” This sentence comes from a speech given by Wang Jinzhan that I saw by chance. People who don\’t know this name may think he is bragging. But after looking at his resume, you will find that based on his experience, he is fully capable of doing this: Wang Jinzhan has been teaching for more than 30 years. I once led a class of 55 students, 37 of whom entered Tsinghua University and Peking University, and 10 of whom entered prestigious universities such as Cambridge University, Oxford University, and Yale University in the United States. He is currently the executive dean of the Institute of Basic Education at the University of Chinese Academy of Sciences and the chief consultant for International Education in Massachusetts, USA. In his opinion, the difference between children is not so much their grades or scores, but rather the difference in their parents’ planning, cognition and persistence. You think that famous schools select children, but you don’t know that they select parents. Parents\’ planning determines the future height of their children. As a father and an educator, Wang Jinzhan naturally hopes that his children will enter a prestigious school in the future. But after a period of observation, he realized that his daughter\’s intelligence was actually very average. With such a level, it is almost impossible to get into Peking University. So, he decided to help his children plan and design in advance. After studying the admissions policies of prestigious universities such as Tsinghua University and Peking University, he found that children can be allowed to take the path of students with special talents. After comparison, Wang Jinzhan chose an instrument for his daughter: Zhongruan. On the one hand, Zhongruan meets the enrollment needs of Tsinghua University and Peking University; on the other hand, this instrument is relatively unpopular, with few students and the competition is not that fierce. What\’s more important is that my daughter has just entered the first grade of junior high school this year. Even if she starts studying now, she won\’t lose much time every day. In this way, in the third year of high school, Wang Jinzhan signed up his daughter for winter camps at Peking University, Tsinghua University, and Renmin University of China. In the professional tests of these three schools, my daughter ranked first. Later, she was successfully admitted to Peking University. Some people may say: It’s not because Wang Jinzhan himself is an education expert. If it were ordinary parents, this child would definitely not be able to go to Peking University. But do you still remember Lei Ziang, who was admitted to five world-renowned universities at the same time, including Imperial College London, the University of Edinburgh, and the University of Illinois in the United States? His parents are just ordinary bank employees. But when it comes to their child\’s growth, Xiaolei\’s parents have started planning and preparing early: traveling with their son to broaden his horizons; discovering and cultivating their son\’s interests and hobbies, looking for strengths that can be amplified in the child; supporting their son\’s The choice allowed him to pursue his dreams without any worries… After years of planning, he finally helped his children chart a path to success. In this era, choice and hard work are equally important, or even more important. Like Wang Jinzhan, we can understand the admission policies, enrollment information, and the situation of the children around us, so as to cultivate the children\’s corresponding abilities according to the needs of the outside world; we can also be like Xiaolei\’s parents, starting from the children\’s interests and hobbies, and customizing a unique The path of your own children. But no matter which one, it all follows the old saying: Everything will be successful if it is forewarned, and it will be ruined if it is not forewarned. Parents’ cognition is their children’s ceiling. In his speech, Wang Jinzhan mentionedHere\’s the thing: when the children finish their homework and ask their parents to sign it, it\’s the time to test the parents\’ wisdom. \”Some parents find faults first. They don\’t appreciate their children\’s compositions that are so well written. Instead, they first check to see if there are any typos. If there are no typos, they think their children\’s handwriting is ugly and they can always find the children\’s shortcomings.\” After seeing it a lot, Wang Jinzhan understood the psychology of this kind of parents: because such parents often have very high demands on their children, they are afraid that if they give their children a little praise, their children will become proud and complacent. Having said this, Wang Jinzhan said with a serious expression: \”The process of these parents signing autographs for their children every day is a process of looking for their children\’s shortcomings and deficiencies. As a result, the more they look for shortcomings, the more they find, and the more they look for their children, the worse their grades become.\” After listening to Wang Jinzhan\’s words , many parents suddenly realized that in the process of educating their children, they often only see the mistake in front of them. But they ignore that behaviors such as beating, criticizing, blaming, comparing, etc. will not only cause children to lose confidence in learning, but also have a negative impact on children\’s intelligence. In fact, mistakes are a child\’s best teacher. The growth of every child is a process of constant exploration, constant trying, and continuous improvement. Some time ago, I saw a speech by psychologist He Lingfeng. During the speech, Teacher He told such an incident: Once, his daughter scored 59 points in a math test. I didn\’t dare to show the report card to my mother, so I covered it with my hand and asked him to sign it. Teacher He did not force his daughter to let go of her hands, but patiently discussed with her: No matter how ugly your score is, I promise not to talk about you. So, my daughter carefully showed Teacher He the results. After seeing \”59\” on the test paper, Teacher He took a deep breath, tried to control his emotions, and asked his daughter as calmly as possible: \”What score did the student with the best score in your class get?\” \”100 points. \”How many 100 points are there?\” \”Many.\” Then he analyzed with his daughter: \”There are two types of exams, one is a selective test; the other is a diagnostic test. You see, your class is so The fact that many people scored 100 points means that they did not need to take this exam because they did not diagnose any problems. And you diagnosed the problem with 41 points. If you find and correct these problems, you will be the biggest benefit from this exam. \”When a child makes a mistake, it is actually a time to test the wisdom of the parents. A parent with a growth mindset can often regard mistakes as opportunities for his child\’s growth: give his child recognition and encouragement, help him analyze problems, and face difficulties with him. After achieving this, even if the child stumbles at first, please believe that every day in the future, the child will be moving in a better direction. Perseverant parents widen the gap between their children. Nowadays, many parents are troubled by their children\’s addiction to mobile phones. They always feel that their children are not self-disciplined enough. But Wang Jinzhan said: The truth is that parents fail to urge their children to develop good habits from an early age. As a result, children have never experienced the pleasure brought by self-discipline, nor can they feel the attraction brought by learning. He said: \”If you want to keep grass from growing in the ground, the best way is to plant crops in the ground. If you want smart children to keep growingTeng, cultivate his reading habit. \”Looking at the children who have been admitted to prestigious schools, it is not difficult to find that their self-discipline and excellence all started with the supervision and guidance of their parents, got stuck in education, and finally persisted day after day. Last year, some media interviewed Chongqing The father of a girl who was admitted to Peking University. When asked how he raised such an outstanding child, the father said that he had never trained him at all! But after getting to know more deeply, he discovered: This father said \”no\” \”Cultivation\” does not mean leaving things to chance, but focusing on the details and cultivating the children\’s learning habits over the years. Since his daughter was 1 year old, the father bought a lot of picture books and books suitable for children. \”She couldn\’t understand when she was a child. We told her, and she mainly looked at the pictures. Slowly, she read and told the story to us. \”For many years, my father has always adhered to this tradition. As a result, my daughter fell in love with reading and gradually developed good habits of concentration and self-discipline. Perhaps in the eyes of many people, sending their children to Peking University or Tsinghua University is a project. It’s a huge thing. But this father never thinks so. He thinks that as a parent, what he can do is actually very simple, which is to lead by example and provide a good learning atmosphere for his children. When a child is illiterate, Read it to her a little bit, even if you can only look at the pictures. Smart parents all know that if you want to raise an excellent child, there are no shortcuts or secrets. It is nothing more than cultivating your child\’s good habits from an early age and being a little more than others. Persevere and work harder until you open a gap that others can no longer catch up with. There is a hot topic on Zhihu. Is it a lie to not let your children lose at the starting line? The following highly praised answer reads: \”This sentence The words were not lies, they were just used in the wrong direction. If you don’t want your children to lose at the starting line, you don’t have to torture your children to death in the future, but you should torture yourself to death now. In fact, parents are the real starting line for children. It is parents who decide where a child starts running, where to run, and how to run. \”Although there are differences in talents among different children, they are far less big than we imagine. But in the end, some children go all the way and enter prestigious schools, enjoying the circle, resources, insights and structure provided by famous schools. And Some children are confused, and even have the light in their eyes rubbed out. The difference reflects the gap between parents. For the future life of our children, what we have to do is to continue learning, exploring, and planning from now on , design, persistence. When raising children, educate yourself first; when tutoring, teach yourself first. After all, only by taking a big step ourselves can we guide our children to move forward.