Mom, give me a hug

After kindergarten, I took my two daughters to play in the community square. The younger daughter was just over one year old. I held her hand and staggered to learn to walk. Suddenly, a heartbreaking cry came. Looking for the cry, I looked ten meters away and saw a little boy of two or three years old sitting on the ground, kicking his legs haphazardly and one of his shoes fell off. When he reached the side, his mother squatted next to him, looking straight at the boy without saying a word. My little daughter and I walked up to her. My daughter went over to touch the little boy\’s face. The little boy moved his hand and almost hit my daughter. I quickly protected him from hitting my daughter and said to his mother: \”Hold her.\” Hug him, hug him!\” The little boy\’s mother replied angrily, \”Leave him alone\” without raising her head, and then stood up and walked away. I was stunned there. The little daughter was staggering and wanted to touch the little boy. He cried even harder and kicked over with his legs. I picked up my daughter and looked at her mother. She had not gone far and stopped by a flower bed, with her hands on her hips, obviously looking very angry. The little boy continued to cry like a roar, as if to use up all the water in his throat, and his nose also ran all over his face. While crying, he shouted: \”Mom, mom, mom.\” A man who had been watching from the side An eldest sister came over, knelt down gently, and said to the little boy with a smile: \”Baby, don\’t cry. Do you want your mother to hold you? Come and hold you and find your mother!\” The eldest sister stretched out her arms and the little boy held his hands. Pushing him out, when he picked him up, the little boy stopped pushing and his cries were no longer so hoarse and lung-breaking. The eldest sister walked up to his mother and said with a smile: \”When the child cries, hug him and pat his back and he will be fine soon.\” The little boy looked at his mother\’s face and cried softly: \” Mom, hug, hug.\” Then the little boy lay on his mother\’s shoulder, and his mother patted him gently. After about three or four minutes, the little boy\’s cry could no longer be heard. My worried heart was completely relieved. \”If you love me, please hug me, if you love me, please kiss me.\” In recent years, parenting experts have been saying that we must have principled and unconditional love for our children, but what is unconditional love? Everyone must not be able to explain clearly that when love cannot be expressed in words, hugs are the most powerful. Especially for children who are vulnerable, their intense emotions are not resisting love, nor are they being willful or unreasonable, but are precisely saying to us: \”Mom, I need you to love me and hug me.\” Professor He told a story: One Saturday morning, he was taking the subway to the airport and saw an angry mother yelling at her son. The child was about seven or eight years old, and he was holding a bag from a training school in his hand. There were many empty seats in the subway on Saturday morning. The mother was obviously very angry and did not sit down. She stood in the middle of the subway. The son was close to the subway door, standing slanted, with his head lowered and his lips tightly closed. There were tears in his eyes and he remained silent. He looked aggrieved and stubborn, listening to his mother\’s scolding. He probably heard what was going on: his mother accompanied her son to a remedial class, but his son didn\’t sleep well, stayed in bed for a while, and took the subway there for a while, so he would be late. After a while, my mother was still scolding mescolded his son. She said that her son didn\’t study hard and didn\’t understand her hard work; she said that her son was ignorant and didn\’t know how to cherish her; she said that she had spent a lot of money, but there was no improvement in her studies, while everyone was making rapid progress. The professor, who was a parent-child expert, obviously couldn\’t stand it, and said righteously: \”Ms., don\’t you see that your son is about to cry? Maybe you give him a hug now instead of lecturing him. His Maybe the grades will go up.\” The mother glanced at the professor, a little confused, but her anger was obviously not gone, so she just stopped training. After listening to the professor\’s words, the boy glanced at his mother and lowered his head again. The stubbornness seemed to be gone. He walked slowly to his mother and looked at her timidly, looking forward to something in his eyes, but still didn\’t say a word. After telling the story, Professor Zhou added: \”Although the little boy didn\’t speak, his subconscious was saying, \’Mom, please hug me.\’ In fact, the matter itself was not serious. The child just didn\’t want to attend tutoring classes on weekends. After getting up late, the mother felt anxious, so she severely reprimanded her children and got angry. Finally, the professor said to us: \”As parents, especially mothers, you should hug your children more, because hugs are the \’closest to unconditional love\’ In this way, hugging can make children feel safe enough, can also enhance the relationship between parents and children, and relatives, and can also resolve bad emotions and even conflicts. My friend Weili and her daughter Xuanxuan. When Xuanxuan started attending kindergarten, for half a semester, whenever she was separated from her mother in the morning, she would cry heartbrokenly and non-stop. No matter how hard Teacher Ren and Weili tried to coax her, they couldn\’t coax her. At first, Weili didn\’t understand the reason for her daughter\’s crying and thought it was because the child didn\’t want to go to kindergarten. Later, when I consulted a parent-child education expert, I learned about Xuan Xuan\’s experience of being taken to her aunt\’s house by her grandmother for a long time when she was one and two years old. When she was separated from her mother, she cried heartbreakingly each time. Experts pointed out that the separation from her mother was not done well, and going to kindergarten every morning was a repetition of the pain of separation at that time. So if you want to make up for the child\’s psychological deficiencies, you need to treat it with enough patience, love, and perseverance. Experts suggest that the best way is to hold the child tightly and pat her back gently when she is sent to kindergarten crying in the morning to make her feel safe. In the next six months, Weili made an effort that amazed me. Faced with Xuan Xuan\’s crying and out-of-control emotions, she held her deeply in her arms and gently patted her daughter\’s back. Xuan Xuan said, \”Hold her for five more minutes,\” and she would hold her for five more minutes. It wasn\’t until Xuanxuan\’s mood stabilized that she said, \”I love you, baby\” under the hug, and then left to go to work. Until one day, Xuanxuan said to her mother, \”When I grow up, I don\’t need to be held by my mother like this anymore. You should go to work quickly. Mom, I love you.\” When Weili heard her daughter\’s words, her heart warmed up and she saw her daughter happy. His eyes were filled with tears. When she told me about it, I was so moved that I gave her a big hug. Psychological research shows that hugging and touching are beneficial to mental health. The psychological quality of children who are often touched and hugged is much healthier than those who lack these. But hugging is the easiest thing to do. It is not as good as words.To learn how to praise and speak, it is no better than emotional intelligence in dealing with things. You must learn to be thoughtful and meticulous. All it requires is that you open your arms, squat down, and say, \”Come, Mom, give me a hug.\” Or when facing family and friends who have returned, they don’t say anything and just throw themselves into a bear hug. And the simplest and easiest hug is the most unconditional expression of love! In fact, each of us is born with the ability to love others. Why not let hugging, an expression of unconditional love, happen every day in every family, so that we can love our children better, and at the same time, let our children love us and others better .