The thing that hurts children more than divorce is this…

Home has always been accompanied by warm words such as \”warmth, warmth, love…\”. However, no matter how loving a couple is, there will always be conflicts and differences of opinion, and some minor frictions and quarrels are inevitable. Some people say that home is not a reasonable place, and it is impossible to distinguish right from wrong in many household chores. But when they started arguing, they couldn\’t stop at all. They just wanted to win or lose. I understand this kind of mentality, but (I feel it every time but it must make sense later) you have a great time quarreling, but have you considered the feelings of your children? Do you know how much impact parents’ quarrels have on children? How much impact does parents\’ quarrel have on the baby? (1) Even babies can understand. Many parents may think that babies don’t understand anything when they are young, so it doesn’t matter if they quarrel in front of the baby. Parents who have ever behaved like this need to examine themselves! Infant brains are highly plastic and can respond to their surrounding environment. Data shows that babies aged 6 to 12 months can “understand” the emotions in voices even when they are sleeping. If the baby is exposed to anger and quarrels for a long time, it may affect the way the brain handles emotions and stress, which will have a negative impact on the baby\’s brain. (2) When parents quarrel, your children think more than you do. Faced with such strong emotions as quarrels, it is difficult for children to stay out of it. Babies as young as 1 year old can realize that their parents are quarreling, and young children may even blame themselves for the quarrel between their parents, causing feelings of self-blame and guilt. How a child interprets an argument can have long-term consequences for him/her. First of all, it will affect the child\’s understanding of love, making the child lack enthusiasm and responsibility for the external environment, and appear indifferent. Secondly, it will also make children feel insecure, pessimistic and timid, withdrawn and unsociable, and have difficulty trusting others, which affects the development of interpersonal communication; it may also form a conflicting personality, prone to anger and irritability, attack others, and even produce anti-social behavior . If during a quarrel, one parent loses control and the other parent is violently attacked, it may cause the child to be frightened and have long-term bedwetting, nightmares, and other behaviors that are different from normal children. In severe cases, it may even affect the child\’s mental and behavioral development. (3) Angry children and hurting them more than a little. Children’s love for their parents is very simple. They all admire their parents and long for the love of their parents. If parents vent their anger on their children during a quarrel, whether it is a \”cold war\” or a \”hot war\”, the harm to the children will definitely be huge. Some parents are worried about the impact of a quarrel on their children, so they choose to deal with it calmly after a dispute occurs, thinking that this will not have an impact on their children. As everyone knows, an indifferent family atmosphere can also cause psychological trauma to children. This kind of cold violence is no less harmful to children than when parents have a heated argument or physical conflict. And those parents who beat and scold their children because they are in a bad mood are even more incompetent. In some disputes, parents use their children as bargaining chips. \”With dad or mom?\” is the last question that should be asked. This is tantamount to hanging a knife on the child\’s head. The child\’s life seems to be waiting for the knife to fall. Mom and dad are both childrenNo one can lose the one I love. Children always live in fear and worry, which will make them preoccupied and uninterested in doing anything. In the long run, it may also cause physiological reactions, such as respiratory infections, reduced immunity, etc. Some arrogant parents may say at this time that our quarrel has no impact on their children. They may even joke that my children are already immune to the quarrels between their parents. If a parent has this idea, what else can Tao G say? He can only respond. You must know that the harm caused to children by parents\’ quarrels may sometimes be invisible, which means that the problem will not show up immediately, but will lag behind, and you don\’t know when it will break out. If parents cannot realize the seriousness of the matter, it will definitely harm their children and have a negative impact on their future personality growth. How to reduce the impact of quarrels on children? Although everyone knows that quarreling is not good for children, it is not a good thing to keep suppressing conflicts caused by trivial family matters. It seems impossible not to quarrel, so in order to reduce the impact of quarrels on children, parents need to do this. (1) Avoid children but don’t keep a cold war. Family conflicts are inevitable. Parents can express their feelings, but they should try to maintain a peaceful mood and reduce quarrels from the source. Don\’t start an argument in front of your children. Avoid the children before communicating, but don\’t be in a cold war. Children are very sensitive, and the strange atmosphere brought about by the Cold War will make them feel uneasy. (2) Do not escalate the quarrel. If a quarrel has already occurred, you should also pay attention to the sense of proportion, discuss the matter as it is, and do not rehabilitate old scores or expand the scope of the quarrel. Avoid causing greater fear and instability to your children. (3) Make peace in front of the children. If a quarrel occurs in front of the children, then make peace in front of the children and appease the children appropriately. This can also teach the children how to deal with conflicts and contradictions. (4) Be brave enough to admit mistakes. If parents have a quarrel in front of their children, they should try to find ways to make up for it. You must know that every word and deed of parents is a role model for their children. Of course, role models may also make mistakes. Only by having the courage to admit mistakes can parents better teach their children a sense of responsibility. How do couples manage emotions? (1) Communication and negotiation are essential. Frequent communication between husband and wife is very important. Some conflicts are caused by the failure of both parties to communicate and negotiate in advance. Therefore, in order to reduce disputes, couples must communicate and negotiate more. (2) Maintaining the image of the other person No matter who you are, you don’t want to be reprimanded by someone close to you. When a conflict occurs, first consider the other person\’s perspective and try to express your opinions tactfully. Especially in front of family members or children, protect each other\’s image and try not to have arguments in public. (3) Go to the room and calm down. When both parties are very excited and the conflict is about to get heated and a quarrel is about to begin, tell the other party and you that you need to calm down. If you can\’t control your emotions, you can go to another room to stay for a while, and then communicate again when both parties can discuss it rationally.