9 words that hurt your children the most, please be merciful

Sometimes we just blurt out words without thinking, and then turn around and forget about them. But if you tell a lie too often, it becomes the truth. Parents often say to their children, \”You are so stupid\”, and the children really lose their confidence. Never say the following words casually. \”Bad words\” are like sharp knives that will not only scratch children, but also leave deep scars on them and cause huge harm. \”Stupid. So stupid!\” Looking at a child who keeps failing, we may be very anxious and anxious. We really want to see him do it right and do it well the first time, so when we see him clumsy again and again, Failure, as a parent, I feel extremely anxious: I am so stupid, what should I do with more difficult problems in the future? ! ! Parents who think too much always have too strong associations. The future is still far away, and we still don’t know what our children will be like, but if parents say to their children, “You are so stupid, you can’t teach me anything,” then there is almost no need to think about it, or the children will rebel against their parents because they don’t admit that they are not good enough. , or the child complies with the parent, really sees himself as a fool, and stops trying and working hard. \”If you say no, it won\’t work. Why can\’t you understand? Do you have ears?\” The child is always reluctant, thinking that he can achieve his goal by begging his parents all the time. The parents think: I just can’t give it, and I can’t just do everything according to him, so I use some harsh words to stop him. Mom, think about it, when you said this sentence, did you feel very angry inside? What would you do if you weren\’t angry? I thought about it, and if I wasn\’t angry, I could tell him gently, seriously and forcefully: No. Even if the child asks for it many times, I will still tell him so and explain the reasons and concerns about the child. \”I don\’t care about you anymore.\” Parents may say such angry words when their children are always disobedient. Of course it is impossible to really leave the child alone. Parents who often say this often control their children. This sentence gives the child a hint: Your parents have requirements for your love. If you are obedient, your parents will love you. If you are disobedient, they will not love you anymore. After children listen carefully, they will become very insecure and will always please others in future interpersonal interactions. Regardless of whether they are right or wrong, children will compromise with others if the relationship between them is damaged. \”Shut up, stop talking.\” I don\’t want to admit that sometimes I don\’t accept my child\’s different voices. Sometimes I may care more about whether he obeys than what kind of person he is. I am a parent for the first time, and my child is a child for the first time. I am learning to get to know him, and I am also learning to get to know myself better. \”If you do well in the exam, I will buy it for you.\” We want to encourage children to love learning more, because learning will be good for him. The most wrong way at this time is to reward him with material things. We always shout that scores are not the most important, but when it comes to giving gifts to children, if we use this method, we are using facts to prove that scores are still very important. Otherwise we wouldn\’t buy this gift. The child\’s understanding will become confused. \”Why are you so timid? What\’s so scary about this?\” Children must have some \”little shortcomings\” that parents can\’t figure out, if parents must think that these are shortcomings. Timid, from anotherFrom this perspective, he is more protective of himself. If we blindly emphasize that this is a bad thing, then he will definitely think that his \”timidness\” is not good, and his parents will blame him. However, the child is indeed \”timid\” at this time and cannot be bold, so in his heart You will always deny yourself. If children are not allowed to express their true selves, children will be suppressed. Timidity will always be a real flaw. \”You\’re wrong again, why are you wrong again!\” Why are you always like this, always making the same mistake? When we educate children, it is always easy to be too anxious, because the adult society is too impatient, so when we see slow children, we are too easily irritable, especially when we see mistakes! mistake! mistake! When parents say this, they are conveying anxiety about mistakes. Making mistakes is not terrible, it is normal to make mistakes, and it is also normal to repeat the same mistakes in the same place. We need to relax our mind first. Give a child a relaxed environment to grow up. \”Look at Uncle Wang\’s house.\” We hate being compared, and we hate losing even more. There are too many places in social life and school life for children to subconsciously compare. If parents still compare this child with that child, it will only affect the friendship between the children and deepen the child\’s dislike of this comparison. . The child may think: Mom has so many demands on me, and I can’t do it now. She doesn’t accept me as I am now, so I don’t want her anymore. \”You only know how to play. Once you learn, you won\’t be able to do it.\” It is natural for children to love to play, and it is also the best source of inspiration for learning. Don\’t pit learning and play against each other. If playing is easy and enjoyable and makes people want to spend a long time investing in it, then when the mother opposes learning and playing, learning becomes boring, painful and meaningless. If this is the case, how can we get the children to learn voluntarily? People who really love reading like to play in the world of knowledge. Here are three old sayings for anxious parents, which I often use to remind myself: Don’t be in a hurry, take your time. Children\’s learning to reflect and summarize is more important than their current exam ranking. Maintaining good communication with your child is more effective than speaking angrily.