Your \”fear of trouble\” is ruining your children!

One weekend morning, I took Rooney to a friend\’s house to play. My friend\’s son, Haohao, is about the same age as Rooney. One day, the two of them played the role of driver and drove, another time, they played the doctor to treat us, and the other time, they played house with kitchen toys. They had a lot of fun. My friends and I were chatting and cooperating with them as passengers, patients or dining customers, and time passed quickly. Suddenly, Haohao came over and asked: \”Mom, I want to use plasticine to make food. Can you take the plasticine and give it to me?\” The friend disagreed. Haohao cried and made trouble, and Rooney also begged beside him. , the friend finally agreed to give them a color to play with. I asked her in confusion: \”You bought such a big box of plasticine, wasn\’t it just for the children to play with? Why did you put it away and not give it to him to play with?\” My friend said: \”You don\’t know, I didn\’t know how to give it to him before. I bought so much plasticine, but he always mixes all the colors together, and sticks it all over my clothes, hair, and shoes. Every time I have to clean it up for a long time, it’s such a hassle! So now I really don’t want to Give him these to play with.\” I said, \”But aren\’t all children like this? If you don\’t let him play for fear of trouble now, then he won\’t want to play with it when he grows up. What\’s the use of keeping it? \”When children are young, they have a strong curiosity about the things around them and want to try everything. However, many adults restrict their exploration and creation because they are afraid of trouble, and some simply do things for them. For example: I am afraid that my children will stain their clothes, so I put away the paints and do not let them paint; I am afraid that my children will cut themselves, so I never let them play with scissors; when I watch my children eat, they scatter rice grains everywhere, so I give them to them Feeding; seeing that the child always puts on his shoes backwards or too slowly, so I simply put them on for him… I watched \”Mom is Superman\” a few days ago and found that Ma Yashu is such a nervous person who is afraid of this and that. Mother. Afraid that her children would be injured when they bumped into each other while playing at home, she had all the furniture moved away. The living room was empty, and the whole family had to sit on the floor while eating. She was afraid that the children would get dirty, so she prohibited them from playing with water or sand. : When the child curiously touched the fish tail on the fish stall while shopping, she felt as if she was facing a powerful enemy and screamed in fright: The eldest daughter Mia is almost four years old. She still wears diapers and cannot go to the toilet or eat by herself. Dressing depends on her mother… When Mia went to kindergarten, when the teacher pointed out tactfully that the child had poor self-care ability and that if he did not learn to dress, go to the toilet and eat by himself as soon as possible, he would be dropped out of school, she still I think these teacher\’s requirements are a bit excessive for a child less than four years old. And Mia obviously cooperates with her mother and continues to play the role of \”can\’t take care of herself\”. Once, Ma Yashu asked Mia to wear pants by herself, but Mia firmly said no. Ma Yashu helped Mia pull up her pants halfway and asked Mia to try again, but Mia still refused. Ma Yashu, who couldn\’t resist her daughter, had to compromise and directly helped Mia put on her pants. Being afraid of trouble not only destroys children\’s curiosity and prevents children from exploring the world, but also makes children become timid in doing things and become more and more dependent on others. When the children grow up, without the help and protection of their parents, the children will inevitably go down the road of life.Crash and run into a lot of big trouble. As a parent, of course you don’t want your children to encounter big troubles in their future lives, so when your children are young, you need to be more patient and don’t be afraid of these small troubles. First of all, relax your mind. If your child wants to play, let him play as much as he wants. It doesn\’t matter if he gets a little dirty or gets a little injured. Just spend more time cleaning up and treating the wounds. This is indeed not easy for some adults with obsessive-compulsive disorder or perfectionism. For example, my mother\’s biggest headache is when Rooney is rummaging through the cabinets at home and dumping all the toys on the floor. She always followed Rooney and kept tidying up. Often she would just put the toys back in the drawer, and Rooney would dig them out again soon after. As a result, she always exhausted herself and became more and more irritable. Sometimes she simply hid the toys from Rooney, so Rooney would have to quarrel with her. I said to my mother: \”Relax a little and don\’t worry about him when he plays. Let the house be messy. When he has had enough fun, you can let him clean up with you.\” Slowly, she learned to see out of sight and out of mind. Don\’t worry, let Rooney play as much as he wants, and Rooney also learned to put away the toys. In this way, both people are relaxed. Secondly, be more patient, play games with your children, and turn bad things into good things. In the first episode of the cartoon \”Peppa Pig\” that children love to watch, after Peppa Pig and her brother George jumped into the mud pit, they ran home excitedly and asked Daddy Pig: \”Dad, guess what we just played. ?\” Looking at the two siblings who were covered in mud, not only was the father not angry (the average parent would have been furious when he saw it), but he also cooperated with the children in guessing: \”Let me guess, you just watched TV?\” Peppa Pig Shaking his head, Dad said, \”Have you just taken a shower?\” which made Peppa Pig and George burst into laughter. The child was covered in mud, which was originally a very troublesome matter, but because of the father\’s pretending to cooperate, it became interesting. What child wouldn’t love such a father? No wonder the siblings have such a good relationship with their father. Third, actively create conditions for children to fully release their nature. Sun Li is worth learning from us in educating children. If you look at her Weibo, you will see how attentive she is in raising her children. The most agreeable thing is her idea of ​​letting children draw freely. Seeing their children spilling paint everywhere, many parents may have collapsed. However, Sun Li\’s words seemed to be complaining, but in fact they revealed full of love and pride. In order to protect the children\’s interest and inspiration in painting, she simply turned an entire wall of her home into their drawing board. She encouraged the children to create, and without the guidance of a teacher, the two children\’s paintings were full of creativity and spirituality. (Sun Li shows off the creative paintings of her son, etc.) (Wait a minute, Xiaohua\’s \”straight pepper painting\”) Don\’t be afraid of trouble, create conditions for children to play as much as they want, and give full play to their nature, so that children will be successful in their future lives. Smoother.