Whether your children will be filial when they grow up is actually already determined. You can tell by looking at this.

I came across a video two days ago. Netizen Mr. Zhou was invited to visit a friend’s hometown for two days. Unexpectedly, after just half a day, he couldn\’t stand it anymore. The reason was that Mr. Zhou wanted to have lunch in the yard. Because he has lived in the city for a long time, Mr. Zhou finds it refreshing to be able to eat, bask in the sun, and look at the scenery while eating. Unexpectedly, my friend had just set up the table and put the dishes and chopsticks on it. His father rushed out and yelled: \”Don\’t you mind being exposed to the sun while eating in the yard on this hot day?\” Upon hearing this, Mr. Zhou hurriedly explained that it was his idea. The friend\’s father felt a little embarrassed and hurriedly said to his son: \”I know how to eat in the yard, but I don\’t use a tarp to cover the sun.\” As soon as the friend took out the tarp, his father opened his mouth again: \”What did you do earlier? Now! When the dishes were served, you held up the tarpaulin and got all the dirt on the dishes.\” Later, my friend took out the electric fan from the house because he was afraid that Mr. Zhou would feel hot. When my friend\’s father saw it, he became anxious again: \”There is no water in the yard, but when the fan blows, all the soil is on the vegetables. Are you going to let people eat?\” During the meal, my friend\’s father also kept picking and choosing: \”This dish is a bit salty. Didn\’t you pay for the salt?\” \”This rice has too much water, how can it be eaten?\” \”Where did you buy this pork? Can\’t you buy it elsewhere? It\’s so expensive!\” Suffocating, really suffocating. \”Every little thing that I see can be found fault with, and I am not satisfied with anything I see. This meal makes me feel so sick, I have no appetite at all.\” After the meal, Mr. Zhou asked his friend, \”Your father has always been Is that so?\” The friend sighed: \”I\’ve been like this since I was a child. The smallest thing is like the sky is falling. I never dare to talk casually. So when I grow up, I rarely go home.\” \”Maybe it\’s because I\’m scared by my dad. I\’ve always been afraid of it. I feel that what is more terrifying for a family than having no money is having a person who is good at creating internal strife. \”Have you ever encountered such a response by magnifying small things and spreading negative emotions to the whole family?\” I wanted to help with housework, but accidentally broke the bowl: \”You can\’t do such a small thing well, what can you do better? How can any boss dare to use you in the future?\” I feel sorry for my mother who usually works hard, and she made a table of meals for her. It was a surprise, and the result was: \”Did you think I would praise you? You have done so much, how can we finish the meal?\” The whole family went on a trip together. They were originally very happy, but they asked: \”Why is the weather so hot? There are so many people.\” I told you to stay at home, but you have to come out to join in the fun!\” If he is unhappy, the whole family will accommodate him; but if someone else is unhappy, \”You are too pretentious. \”. …If it seems familiar, then you are likely to have met a \”family member with internal friction\”. They are extremely good at \”magnifying a small thing infinitely, and then infecting the whole family with negative emotions.\” The people living around him are cautious and tense every day. I\’m afraid that if I don\’t say the right thing or do something well, it will lead to a quarrel. But the \”internal friction family members\” themselves are completely unaware of it. I even feel that \”it\’s all because of your bad behavior that makes me angry.\” Generally, \”internal family members\” have 4 obvious characteristics: 1. Strong desire to control: you have to listen to him in everything; 2. Emotional: like a walking bomb, which can be easily exploded; 3. Pessimistic: you can always see it in your eyes. Problem, dissatisfied with everything; 4.Two-faced person: he is submissive when he is outside, but he is dictating when he comes home. In addition, there is a \”hidden trait\”. For ordinary people, many small conflicts will be over by turning a blind eye. But \”internal friction family members\” are obsessed with: recurring and endless attacks. As time goes by, many small things become trapped in the hearts of the people around you: If you don\’t talk about them, you will always be in denial about them; if you talk about them, it will be a bit of a fuss. Unknowingly, we are repeatedly infiltrated by negative energy, but we cannot or cannot tell what is wrong. Finally, I felt suffocated as soon as I got home. The family lost the relaxation and love they should have had. There are two me in the world. One wants to go home, and the other wants to travel far away. Compared with partners, \”internal family members\” often have a more profound impact on children. Previously, blogger Mr. Wang complained that his sister was the \”creator of family strife.\” My nephew was only 37 points short of a perfect score in the high school entrance examination. As a result, my sister was very dissatisfied and almost \”teared down the ceiling at home.\” On the day after the exam, I heard that my son failed to solve the last big question in mathematics: \”I don\’t think this question is difficult! Didn\’t you do something more difficult before the exam?\” \”Is it easy for me to be your mother? On the third day of the new year Are you going to take you to Shenyang to find a teacher to make up lessons? \”\”Usually, I can tie more than 20 people for one score, but I have 12 points for a big question. You want to kill me!\” When the score was calculated, I learned that my son was 37 points short of the full score: \” What’s good about doing well in the exam? I still don’t know where I am!” Then he started swiping his phone frantically: “It’s over, there are three people in your class who did better in the exam, and the score line this year must be higher than last year.” “You’re out of your mind. Why can\’t you do the last math question? \”\”How much effort I put into you, but you ended up like this, it\’s so shameful!\” \”If you don\’t go to a key high school, don\’t call me mom anymore. !\” In the end, my nephew got into a key high school in the city, but my sister still refused to give up. \”What am I talking about? If you can write down mathematics, you will definitely be able to pass the provincial key points!\” \”The first time you are diverted in life, you will fall behind!\” \”The two people who work under me have children who have passed the exam. Better than you, I don’t even have the nerve to go to work!” “What future can you achieve in the future? Just hang out with those people who are taking the technical school!” He responded in a rapid-fire manner, and his moods fluctuated greatly, and he even threw pots and pans from time to time. Bowl… The son stood aside, trembling all over, not daring to breathe, and kept crying. You know, although the video is only 11 minutes long, after watching it, my head was so noisy that it hurt. And this is just the child\’s life for nearly half a month. I can’t imagine how a child can stay healthy and happy after living in such a family for more than ten years. Some netizens said that their family\’s \”internal friction\” has been \”perfectly\” inherited from generation to generation. Every time my husband reminds the children not to step into puddles, the children will subconsciously say: \”You think I\’m blind and can\’t see.\” Some netizens also said that it is because they have to live by their father\’s face since they were young. Now when I get along with people, I am always overly sensitive and submissive, for fear that I will do something wrong. What\’s even more distressing is. As they grow older, many people gradually become aware of their own problems, but find it difficult to get rid of this \”stigma\”. \”I always remind myself not to become like my mother, but when I am angry, I still can\’t help it.\” \”My parents took meI developed a timid person with low self-esteem, while scolding me for not being brave enough. \”In addition, there is another netizen who has lived under the threat of his father\’s \”one word\” since he was a child: \”My father always asks me what I think first, then denies me, and finally forcefully makes a decision for me, every time. \”One time when a netizen came home, her father helped her make breakfast and asked, \”Do you want one piece of bread or two slices of bread for the sandwich?\” She replied, \”Just one piece of bread.\” But her father insisted, \”Two slices of bread.\” The netizen subconsciously replied: \”I said one piece is one piece. If you want to put two pieces in, don\’t ask me. Don\’t wait for me to say it before denying me again. Dad was obviously a little flustered: \”Okay, I got it, I got it.\” Afterwards, the netizen returned to the room and suddenly cried: \”I feel like I took it out on myself when I was a child, but looking at my father\’s back, I regret my attitude just now.\” \”This is another inner struggle of children living in \”internal friction families\”: they hate their parents\’ \”mental harm\” but also feel sorry for their fatigue. They don\’t know who to blame. In the end, they can only blame themselves. \”This There are two me in the world, one wants to go home and the other wants to travel far away. \”For children who grow up in love, even getting lost is like traveling. At this point, some people may say: \”Parents also want to educate their children, and they have to tell their children when they make mistakes. \”Indeed. I just hope everyone understands: accusation or suppression is never the only way to educate. I once saw a story. A netizen\’s family almost went bankrupt when she was in the second grade of elementary school. Her mother was angry at home every day, but her father was still cheerful. Once, my father took his daughter fishing and told her that if it rained, he would tell her \”How Franklin caught lightning.\” \”I didn\’t learn to catch lightning that day, but I remembered what my father said: \’Life is like a dream, like a bubble. Like electricity. Everything will pass, but the good will last forever’. This sentence gave me the courage to start over in the countless dark days that followed. \”I remembered a sentence I once saw: \”Our education focuses too much on making us excellent, but never teaches us how to survive. \”Survival here refers to \”how to survive better in the face of adversity.\” Ups and downs in life are normal. But family education without internal friction will plant \”hope, optimism, and perseverance\” in children\’s hearts. The seeds are enough to support them through a life trough. There was a scene in the popular variety show \”Flowers and Boys\” when Di Lieba accidentally knocked down the Coke behind her and the Coke sprayed out of the bottle. As an \”internal personality\”, her first reaction was: \”Oh my God, it\’s over. Qin Lan on the side blurted out: \”Happy holidays!\” \”This sentence made everyone present laugh. Afterwards, Reba recalled that it was this \”Happy Holidays\” that calmed her current anxiety. In fact, the same is true in family life. She also knocked over the Coca-Cola. After hearing this, \”Don\’t you have eyes? ” and “Happy holidays! \”It\’s a completely different experience. In fact, apart from the big rights and wrongs, right and wrong in family life are not that important. The problem will eventually be solved, but if you can face it with a different mood, the trouble may become a kind of fun. Don\’t Continue to be a helpless child in your heart. Finally, I have to clarify something: having said thisMany, not to blame parents. There are no perfect parents in the world. Parents, like us, are also affected by the environment in which they grew up and have their own natural limitations and shortcomings. Therefore, I would like to give you some suggestions, hoping to help you cope with it better. 1. Forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for being inexplicably angry when facing your parents. Forgive yourself for being stung by things that happened when you were a child even when you grow up. Forgive yourself for being emotionally broken. Forgive yourself for not being perfect and being unable to completely get rid of the influence of your family of origin. The first step in all changes is to accept the imperfection of reality. 2. Allowing parents to \”not change\” Many times we suffer because we always expect our parents to change, but this expectation always fails. At this time, it is better to leave some space to \”allow\” everything to happen. No need to be confrontational, just allow your parents to live their lives on their terms. Let go of your expectations and you may be able to live more comfortably. 3. Try to avoid stereotypes. Due to the influence from childhood, we often have deep-rooted \”stereotypes\” about our parents: strong control, high mood swings, cold violence, etc. Therefore, when we grow up, once similar situations occur, it is easy to trigger our stress response. I preconceptionally think that my parents are “having the same old habits again.” Just like the previous article responded to the daughter whose father only wanted a piece of bread. Maybe before my parents opened their mouths, they got emotional first and started a \”war\”. But don’t forget, people are constantly changing. Once you have preconceived judgments about your parents in your mind, you will never be able to truly understand them. 4. Physical isolation if all efforts fail. It doesn\’t matter, we can reduce the frequency of getting along with our parents. Build a comfortable space for yourself and nourish yourself again. Become your own \”savior\”. There has been a popular saying in the past two years: \”Unfortunate people spend their entire lives healing their childhood.\” There is some truth to this, but it is not entirely correct. The harm caused by our family of origin is not our fault. But \”getting rid of these and becoming a better person\” is a responsibility we cannot escape. Don\’t continue to be a helpless child inside. Cheer up and become a better adult!