What are children procrastinating to protect?

01What is procrastination? Procrastination is a common psychological phenomenon. It refers to people deliberately postponing or delaying actions when facing some important or difficult tasks, and choosing to do something irrelevant or pleasant. It reflects the imbalance in people\’s motivation, emotion, cognition and behavior. Chen Mo, a child and adolescent education consulting expert, believes that procrastination may be innate. Li Xin, a doctor of traditional Chinese medicine, believes that if children do not eat well and sleep well for a long time, children will also become procrastinating. Because the child has no energy, of course he cannot muster the energy to do things. Psychology contends that lack of interest is an important cause of procrastination. Compared with doing homework, playing games and watching TV are certainly more attractive and important. Without motivation, procrastination is inevitable. Jane Bock, an American psychological counselor who authored \”The Psychology of Procrastination,\” believes that \”the problem of procrastination is neither a bad habit nor a character problem, but a psychological syndrome caused by fear.\” For example, when a child completes a task and the parent asks him to do it better, but the parent does not give appropriate encouragement, the child will lose interest in doing the task and procrastinate. For example: When a child learns and does something new, he will procrastinate because he is afraid of not doing it perfectly, even if it is something he is interested in. For example: In order to resist the will of the parents and refuse the arrangements of the parents, the children can only resort to the next best thing – procrastination. For example, if a child feels that things are not urgent and has plenty of time, it is easy to procrastinate, just like not wanting to sleep. . . . . . . All in all, children\’s procrastination is related to their innateness, physical condition, growth environment, and psychology. 02 What does procrastination protect? Parents who label their children \”procrastinators\” need to understand: If the child is born with a slow and calm personality, and the child is not troubled by procrastination, and can focus on doing things he likes for a long time and enjoy it, then that does not count. Go to \”Procrastination\”. If an impatient parent gives birth to a child who is impatient, both parties will face great challenges. Psychologist Wu Zhihong shared a case: There was a child who was slow in everything, including speaking, eating, and doing homework, as if in slow motion. You can imagine how slow this kid is. Teacher Wu Zhihong said that there must be a caregiver around this child, either a mother, a grandma, or a grandma, who would say to the child: Hurry up, hurry up, hurry up. If the child is too late, it means that he has obeyed the caregiver\’s words, and he is no longer himself, but the child that the caregiver expected. If a child is fast, it is a kind of obedience to the caregiver who orders, directs, and controls himself. I use my slowness to express myself, and I use my slowness to rebel against those who control me. I will not comply with your request, I will go against you. All this is just to do it yourself, procrastination is to protect yourself. If we do not procrastinate and live efficiently and actively, we will have a fear that means we cannot be ourselves. Where you cannot be yourself, there is life force sleeping there. 03 The first step to stop children from procrastinating: Give back the initiative. When children always procrastinate, parents should first hold back their impatience.Don\’t rush. Because when children face urging, their brains receive \”command and control\” signals, and their instinctive reactions will be resistance and rejection. Let your children make their own decisions about when to get up and when to go out. Step 2: Clearly inform the consequences. Parents do not rush their children, but they should tell their children what consequences they will face if they delay. Let children take responsibility for the consequences of their actions. For example: The result of procrastinating in school is being late. If you are late, you will be criticized and punished by the teacher. For example: If you are late for important things, you may miss valuable opportunities. Step 3: Provide timely and positive feedback. When children set their own alarm clocks and get up, quickly pack up and get ready to go, parents remember to affirm and encourage them in time. Positively reinforce good behaviors and let children taste the sweetness of not dawdling, which can further help children establish a correct view of time. Step 4: Actively pay attention and provide high-quality companionship. Actively respond to the child\’s needs. When the child does not ask for help, be a watchful companion. Not asking for help, but responding to requests has become the norm in interactions with children. Step 5: Face difficulties together with your child. When your child feels anxious and afraid of difficulties, listen patiently and guide your child to release their emotions. Face difficulties with your children, teach them how to break down tasks and deal with them easily. Everyone expects perfection. If you devote 100% to it, you will achieve 100% of the expectations. Then use your energy to your fullest, and things will be in perfect condition. Guess no one will procrastinate. Perfectionism is often a cause of procrastination. Accepting imperfections in life is also a way to protect yourself. Understand the real reasons behind procrastination and be true to yourself.