Many children are being harmed by \”free-range care\”

There is one thing that must be said carefully. Every time I mention in my article that we should give children some time of their own, don’t take up too much, and don’t be afraid that the children will be bored, there will be comments saying: “Don’t we need to control the children? Just let them do whatever they want?” \”That\’s it, let\’s release the child\’s nature and parents should not control it.\” Between controlling and not caring. Between the freedom of nature and the control of rules. What on earth do we do? Parents who really care about their children\’s psychological growth must often hear these words: \”love and freedom\”, \”rules\”, \”free range\”, \”unconditional love\”, etc. Raising children is indeed not just about feeding them. There are still many things that need to be understood. Today we talk about free range breeding. 2 As long as we talk about free-range breeding, \”free education\” cannot be avoided. The French thinker Rousseau was perhaps not the first person to propose that children should be allowed to develop freely and conform to their natural nature. But it is definitely the most influential. In Rousseau\’s view, education must follow the requirements of nature, conform to human nature, and oppose suppressing children\’s personality and restricting children\’s freedom. But no matter how you look at it, this has nothing to do with free-range breeding. It doesn’t say that parents don’t need to control anything, as long as they let their children grow up freely. Therefore, free-range breeding cannot be equated with natural education. However, many people use the name of free education to say that free-range education is good. As a result, when children push other children outside, they say that they are just like that, they are naughty by nature, and they are still children. When children say that reading is not interesting, let them play with their mobile phones. As long as they are happy, it will be fine. You will see how obedient and happy they are when they play on their mobile phones. When children yell and curse at the elderly at home, they feel that it is okay. The children are just in a bad mood. They should accept their emotions and adults should not care about them. In the face of those talent courses, children should learn if they want to learn, and if they don’t want to learn, stop learning. In any case, listen to the children. Yelling in public places, bouncing on chairs, and even kicking the big screen in a movie theater are considered children just exploring the world and don\’t need to be taken care of. …Is this kind of scene very common? This \”free range\” approach of respecting children\’s freedom and following their nature is harming children. 3. What will happen to your children if you don’t care about them? Many parents say, I just don’t care about my children and let them play freely. Just let him eat and drink enough every day so that he can live a healthy and safe life. Everything else depends on God’s will and His own creation. But what will be the final result? After the high school entrance examination this year, a relative said that his intestines were filled with regret. The couple has been opening a shop outside, hoping to earn more money for their children to go to school in the future. But things changed after my son entered middle school. In his free time, he just went out to play with friends. During holidays, he just watched TV and played with his mobile phone… He didn\’t take the initiative to learn at all. Because I am too busy, I also feel that I don’t want my son to be too tired from school, as long as he is happy. I didn’t care too much. As a result, three years have passed and I have not even been admitted to the most common high school. I am even more worried about going to a vocational school. Because he found that he couldn\’t manage himself at all, what should he do if he goes to a vocational school to play with his mobile phone and make friends with some unscrupulous people? He said that he really regretted it, why didn\’t he think of taking care of him. I also thought that when he grows up, he will be sensible and be able to take care of himself. It\’s troublesomeWhat about reality? Every child needs \”other discipline\” before he can truly learn self-discipline. This means that parents need to help their children go through a long journey. I feel the same way about this. I feel like I was always controlled by my grandma when I was a child. When my friends were playing video games, poker or other games, she would call me back because the labor time was up, and then go to work in the fields. I was really reluctant and was often scolded and beaten. But I still listen to her arrangements. After all, I can do a lot of work, and she also needs my help. When I got to middle school, I could discuss with her myself and arrange my own work time and play time. Basically, she listens to me and is no longer urged and shouted by her. Of course, I do not advocate beating and scolding children to make them obedient. Rather, I feel that parents need to control their children before they become self-disciplined. There are also many children who want to learn Go or musical instruments just because they see it being interesting. But it turned out that it was not that easy to learn. I just want to give up and try my best to say that I don’t want to learn anymore. At this time, some parents will give up and refuse to learn. Follow the child\’s temper and listen to the child. In fact, starting from the time when children are young, whether it is reading, sports, or learning any talent. It takes a lot of time and effort to really do it well. Before Xiao Xiaoyu developed the reading habit, we read with him every day for almost three or four years. If you really let them read a book by themselves, they won\’t read it if it doesn\’t look good. Then forget it. Then this child will not fall in love with reading. The child\’s control and attention are relatively poor. Therefore, parents’ guidance is even more needed. Once they develop a habit and let them taste the sweetness of persistence. I won\’t give up easily anymore. If a child is from two or three to ten years old, he always spends three days fishing and two days drying nets, learning this and that all at once. It is difficult for this child to calm down and do something well. Behind this, the key link of parental discipline is often lacking. 4 Those children who don\’t care are not truly free children, but just defy the rules and behave indulgently. You see that they seem to be free and carefree. Is this the best state of growth? A middle school teacher in his hometown said that some of the students he taught were never cared about at home and the school could not control them. Riding a motorcycle around the playground every day, the roaring sound filled the school. They gather together to smoke, fight, punch and kick classmates they dislike, and ignore the teacher\’s persuasion. Later, a child was seriously injured in a group fight before he graduated. Later, he was taken to the police for investigation for a long time. They think they are cool, free and unrestrained. Even many children of the same age envy this kind of life. But once they enter society, what will they do to gain a foothold? My parents have been living in fear. 5Why do so many parents “raise” their children like this? It can be roughly divided into two types. One is due to psychological reasons. I was over-disciplined when I was a child. In fact, there is a child living in everyone\’s heart. When we raise our own children, we will also compare our childhood and talk to the child in our hearts. If you were controlled too strictly by your parents when you were a child, you will often want to let your children relax and be less controlled.Some. In this way, you will feel a kind of balance and satisfaction in your heart. Just like the kind of parents who suffered when they were children and are afraid that their children will suffer. So if you have this kind of mentality, you must analyze it and make self-adjustments. Don\’t let this mentality affect the way you treat your children. There is also the influence of concepts, which is to agree with this parenting concept. But in the actual process, there was a deviation – excessive emphasis on freedom and neglect of rules. In the process of raising children, what should be controlled and what should be left alone. We cannot go into every detail, but we must have a general direction. If the general direction is right, there will be no problems. For children, it should be: freedom of mind and the ability to consider rules in behavior. It means that children can think freely and express freely. Moreover, they are not controlled by their parents, but guided, and self-discipline can be continuously established. Because the core of freedom is not reflected in the external form, but the child\’s high sense of rules should be internalized from freedom. This is difficult. If a child can achieve self-discipline one day, it will undoubtedly be the best gift his parents can give him. And parents themselves can feel a lot more relaxed. For parents, it should be: respect their children enough, but also discipline them. This means that children’s learning abilities and interests will be respected and their learning arrangements will be arranged. Follow the rules of children\’s physical and mental development, choose some interest courses, and encourage children to stick to them. The education of true freedom that I understand is the education of love. Love is a good medicine in psychology. It can cure all psychological problems. When children are in a free environment, many of their psychological complexes will disappear and many of their problems will disappear. And you will find that freedom and rules are actually unified, not opposed. Don\’t worry about hurting your children if you control them. Setting rules will restrain your children. In fact, as long as you truly love your children, effective discipline and rules are necessary for your children\’s growth.