The more the mother says these two words, the more disobedient the child becomes!

Many times, disciplining children is just a matter of a few words. If you speak appropriately, you can easily help your children get rid of bad habits without having to break their skin; if you speak inappropriately, they will keep talking more and more, and the more they say, the more useless they will be. In the end, the parents will be angry, but the children will still be angry. No entry… Many parents always blurt out two words when disciplining their children, but these two words are very repulsive to children and can easily arouse rebellious emotions in children. These two words are – don\’t. You ask him to stop watching TV and wash his hands and eat quickly, but he just doesn’t move. You ask him not to be picky about food, but he still doesn’t like to eat this or that. So, why do children behave like this? Is it because our children are naughty and disobedient by nature? Actually, it\’s really not. 1. No one likes to be denied. In the process of psychological growth, everyone will have a \”self-worth protection tendency\”, and they are more willing to accept people who like and support themselves, and reject those who are unfavorable to them. This is true for adults, let alone children. I remember that when my home was being renovated a few years ago, my father and I went to pick out furniture, and we were very angry at the end of the day. I took a fancy to a set of beige leather sofas, and my child’s father said: “Beige is not dignified enough. Besides, leather sofas are not as comfortable as cloth ones and are not strong enough. In fact, the brown solid wood ones are pretty good!” I want to choose a sliding door. The child\’s father said: \”The sliding door is not strong, and it is not as convenient as the double door.\” I wanted to order a light yellow coffee table and dining table set, but the child\’s father rejected it again: \”The color is too vulgar. It\’s like a kindergarten, it doesn\’t look like a home…\” Finally, I really got angry: \”This won\’t work, that won\’t work either, it depends on your taste, you can choose it yourself!\” After that, I walked away angrily. . So you see, even we ourselves sometimes can\’t stand the negation of others, let alone children. When we communicate with our children, we always like to use negative language: \”Don\’t do this, don\’t do that.\” Although our purpose is good and is to help children get rid of bad habits, our words convey to the children , but it is denial and distrust; it is like saying to a child: \”You can\’t do it, you are wrong, you can\’t do it well!\” As time goes by, the child will definitely become more and more unwilling to cooperate, and he will also find that you have nothing to do except fix the problem. Tian Nagging couldn\’t do anything to him, so he slowly learned to talk back. 2. Whatever you worry about will happen sooner or later. There is a very interesting \”Murphy\’s Law\” in psychology. Its general meaning is: whatever you worry about will happen sooner or later! If it extends to the issue of educating children, it can also be said: What you don’t let your child do, he will do it sooner or later! Is this really going to happen? Let\’s do a little experiment. Let me tell you now: \”Don\’t even think about eating meat in your next life. Don\’t even think about any kind of meat! Whether it\’s crispy and fragrant spicy chicken, or braised pork with pickled vegetables that melts in your mouth, or chewy and chewy beef with soy sauce, Even the hot-boiled mutton dipped in sesame sauce, don’t think about it at all!” When you read this, did you really not think about any meat in your mind? Definitely not, you will more or less recall various delicious meat dishes. In fact, for children, this phenomenon is more obvious. If you repeatedly ask them not to do something, they willAnd it aroused the curiosity deep in his heart, so he couldn\’t help but do it. 3What kind of communication is simple and effective? 1. Use more positive statements. If you change the same thing to a more positive statement, it will be easier for children to accept it, and the effect may be very different. When you want to say: \”Stop watching TV, go do your homework! Don\’t you know what your grades are like?\” Why not change it to: \”Child, have you been watching TV for more than half an hour? Don\’t forget our agreement. Mom believes that you are a child who abides by the agreement! \”When you want to say: \”Don\’t tilt your body while writing!\” Why not change it to: \”Straighten your back, kid? , This posture is standard, and people will look taller after a long time!\” 2. When you must say \”no\”, give the child a brief explanation. Although the child is more willing to accept positive statements, when the child touches some dangerous objects, it is still necessary. Stopped in time. However, while restraining the child, it is best to briefly explain the danger to the child just like you would an adult. For example, when a child touches the electric plug, you can say: \”Child, you must not touch this! Electricity is very, very dangerous, not a toy. Even parents dare not touch it casually! You must also tell this in class Other children should not touch electrical appliances casually.\” 3. Tell children what they can \”do\” rather than what they \”can\’t\” do. Parents can easily overestimate their children\’s logical understanding and often use adults\’ way of thinking to ask their children. For example, we tell our children not to throw away toys, and then we assume that the children will collect the toys and place them neatly in the box. But in fact, young children\’s logical thinking ability is relatively limited, and they can\’t think of so many things. They won\’t throw them away if you don\’t let them, but they won\’t take the initiative to clean them up. At this time, you need to tell him what to do: \”Child, if you throw toys away, you won\’t be able to find them next time you play. Come on, just like mom, let\’s find a small box and invite all the dolls in to sleep. \”So, educating children is really not easy. It is both a mental job and a technical job.