CCTV\’s popular drama \”My Altay\” became a hit. Ma Yili\’s words shocked millions of parents: What kind of mother\’s character will determine the fate of her children?

Recently, the popular drama \”My Altay\” recommended by China Central Television has become a hit all over the Internet. In just eight episodes, everyone is moved by not only the natural beauty of the vast mountains and plains, but also the pure and simple ranch life. In this drama, the personality charm of the mother Zhang Fengxia and the comfortable way in which the mother and daughter get along have also made many netizens envious. The mother Zhang Fengxia, played by Ma Yili, lives up to her name, has a broad mind like a hero, is positive and optimistic in life, and is open-minded and transparent in educating her children. Some people say that as a mother, Zhang Fengxia is like a wise life mentor who can light the way forward for her children. It can also be seen from the play that the critical moments of Li Wenxiu\’s growth were inseparable from the subtle guidance of his mother. After looking at Zhang Fengxia’s education method, I can’t help but think of a point Ma Yili once mentioned in an interview: “Everyone likes to discuss whether to be rich or poor. In my case, I feel that being rich in the spiritual world is necessary and absolutely necessary.” True. In a family, the mother\’s words and deeds often have a profound impact on the shaping of the child\’s spiritual world that cannot be ignored. What kind of character the mother has, what kind of path the child will take. Emotionally stable mothers raise energetic children. Psychologist Chen Mo said in a speech: \”The cleaner the home, the more peaceful your children will be and the better they will read. How mature a person is depends on how well he controls his emotions.\” \”On the contrary, the more noisy the home becomes, with constant quarrels and constant quarrels. The children are always living in panic and full of tension, making it difficult for them to study and live smoothly. Many times, the mother\’s emotions can play a key role in the development of the child\’s character. Writer Cai Yingqing shared a personal experience: When she was eating out, she met a family of three. During the meal, the mother kept telling her children about the value of traveling. After that, he kept instilling various truths into his daughter, talking about how important it is to make money, and tried to use various cases to make her understand the meaning of broadening her horizons. But the daughter was eating at the time, so she interrupted her mother with \”I won\’t eat this.\” After hearing what her daughter said, the mother continued to persuade: \”This is delicious, you can eat it and see.\” But the daughter still flatly rejected her mother\’s request because she \”didn\’t like it.\” Seeing her daughter\’s decision, the mother suddenly became angry, her voice became a little louder, and she began to reprimand her daughter in public: \”Shut up, you talk so much during a meal, how many mouths do you have? It\’s so annoying.\” I\’m telling you, I\’m already impatient!\” Then she slapped her daughter with her hand, and the child burst into tears, and everyone present was surprised. I can\’t imagine what kind of scars will be left on the child\’s heart due to the mother\’s sudden emotional loss over an originally trivial matter. Cai Yingqing later wrote in the book: \”A mother\’s anger or sadness affects not only herself, but also the atmosphere of the entire family and the child\’s attitude toward life.\” Mothers are emotional when things happen and are impulsive and irritable when solving problems. Over time, children will become cautious and panicked, and it will be difficult to maintain a normal mind when it comes to learning and life. My mother is emotionally stable enough and handles trivial matters calmlyWith peace, over time, children will be able to stay away from fear and tension, allowing sunshine to live in their hearts, and their spiritual world will become rich. In \”My Altay\”, Zhang Fengxia remains calm no matter what the situation, actively solves problems, and does not vent her emotions randomly. Netizens call her the \”mom\’s ceiling.\” Li Wenxiu was careless and lost her grandma in the market. After searching for her to no avail, she was sweating profusely. After the mother learned the news, she did not criticize her daughter immediately. Instead, she calmed down and retrieved the old man. When her daughter apologized for blaming herself, she immediately expressed relief: \”Why are you sorry? I often lose her and I just pick her up again.\” In order to prove herself, Li Wenxiu went to the herdsman\’s house alone to ask for the account, but because of the communication The problem almost caused trouble. When her mother found out, she did not blame her. Instead, she took the responsibility and took her daughter to apologize to the herdsmen. Her mother\’s stable mood and gentle handling provided Wenxiu with enough energy to live more calmly. A mother\’s indifferent attitude towards life affects the way her child sees the world, and can also contribute to her child\’s spiritual world, allowing her to have more ambitious goals. In a family, a truly powerful mother has already achieved these \”three no\’s\” in the education process: 1. Don\’t blame, learn to appreciate the advantages: an unscrupulous \”knife mouth\” will sooner or later destroy a family. If a child is exposed to suppression and criticism for a long time, it is easy to leave indelible scars on his heart, there will be more and more negative emotions, and mental health problems are easy to occur. As a parent, knowing how to appreciate your child\’s strengths and giving more encouragement and praise is the correct way to help your child climb up. 2. Don’t preach, give positive feedback: Whether adults or children, if they hear too many big principles, they will develop a rebellious mentality. Excessive preaching will only drive the distance between parents and children further and further, and be counterproductive in education. Reasonable communication methods and teaching methods should be found to give children positive and correct guidance. 3. Don’t interfere, know how to respect and let go: Only by letting go appropriately and timely can children fly higher. As your children grow up, learn to respect their ideas, think from their perspective, don\’t interfere when it\’s time to let go, and don\’t hesitate when it\’s time to withdraw. When you manage your emotions well and live as a gentle and peaceful adult, your children will naturally grow up to be healthy and confident. Relaxed mothers teach children with a high sense of value. In a music class taught by a Boston master, something happened that made countless parents think deeply: After listening to a little girl\’s performance, the musician Professor Benjamin expressed his great appreciation. Compliment the girl on her talent and do a good job. But he found that the girl never had a smile on her face during the performance, and her mental state seemed to be tense all the time. At first, the professor tried to make the child happy and led the girl to jump, but after adjustments, the girl still had a serious and nervous look on her face. So after the girl finished playing, the professor asked the girl\’s mother: \”Do you think your child is beautiful?\” The mother replied without thinking: \”I don\’t think she is beautiful.\” The professor asked again: \”Do you think she plays the piano well? ?\” Mom shook her head. After listening, the professor solemnly toldTell this mother: \”If it were me, I would praise her with all the best words and let her know that with her, my world is full of happiness.\” Then he added that the mother\’s anxiety will spread and invade In the child\’s heart, if you keep transmitting anxious emotions to your child, then she will grow into an unhappy person. In his opinion, the most worrying thing in this class is not the child\’s skills, but that the child has never smiled. So it’s not the girls who really need improvement, it’s the mothers. \”Journal of Family Psychology\” published a study showing: \”There is an important link between the mother\’s physical stress and the child\’s physical stress. Even if the mother feels that she has concealed her stress and negative emotions from the child, the child can still feel \”If a mother treats life with a negative attitude for a long time, educates her children, and transmits negative energy to her children, the children will always be dominated by anxiety and internal friction, and it will be difficult for them to gain a sense of the value of life. In family education, what is most feared is not the poverty of economic conditions, nor the amount of educational resources, but the long-term internal friction between parents and children. While watching \”My Altay\”, what impressed me most was a passage Zhang Fengxia talked about when educating her daughter. Li Wenxiu suffered a lot while working outside and suffered many setbacks. She began to feel confused about her life. After returning home, she wanted to prove herself, so she came up with a way to help her mother collect the debt, but she was repeatedly hit for various reasons. After finally getting some money back, Li Wenxiu asked her mother unconfidently: \”Am I considered a useful person?\” Seeing her daughter\’s disappointed look, Zhang Fengxia patiently enlightened her: \”What does it mean to be useful? Li Wenxiu, I didn\’t give birth to you just to be useful.\” You serve others. If there are people to eat and use, it is called useful. It is good to be free on the grassland without anyone to use it!\” Mom\’s strong core was passed on to Wenxiu bit by bit, giving her full vitality. , allowing her to persist in her dream of writing later in life. And this rare sense of relaxation is an education method that many parents should learn from. In reality, I often hear people complain, \”How good other people\’s children are, why are their own children so hopeless?\” In fact, grades do not represent everything, and one cannot determine success or failure based on the result of one thing. Some children just got the question wrong, not the wrong person. If a mother is overly anxious about her child\’s education, the child will be affected and unable to gain happiness for a long time, and every step forward will be difficult. Hong Lan, a doctor of psychology, once said: \”Mother is the soul of a family. If the mother is happy, the whole family will be happy; if the mother is anxious, the whole family will be anxious.\” In daily life, truly smart mothers know how to get rid of these three bad habits. : 1. Quit mental internal friction and excessive anxiety: As a guide for children, don’t be too negative in everything and solve problems with an optimistic attitude. Stay in a good mood and stop being anxious. Your home will be filled with positive energy, and your children will have more possibilities in their future. 2. Get rid of resentment and complaining and build a strong core: If a mother is strong and optimistic, her children will gain more confidence to face the difficulties and obstacles on the road of life and move forward bravely. 3. Stop worrying and allow everything to happen:Always remember that home is not a battlefield, and there is no need to judge who succeeds or fails. It is also not a chessboard, and there is no need to be cautious and guarded at all times. There is nothing wrong with allowing everything to happen, accepting the child\’s ordinaryness, and letting him be an ordinary person with physical and mental health. A mother who has a big enough pattern will create an outstanding future for her children. There is a saying in \”Camel Xiangzi\” that is right: \”Experience is the fertilizer of life. What kind of experience you have, you will become what kind of person you are. You can\’t grow peonies in the desert.\” .\”Similarly. What kind of pattern the mother has will determine what kind of vision the child will develop, what kind of knowledge he will gain, and what kind of life he will achieve. A mother’s outlook and structure are the nutrients that nourish her child’s growth. Children are like saplings. If they want to grow into towering trees one day, they must be cultivated with rich nutrients and correct cultivation methods. There was a section in the play where everyone stayed at Chao Ge\’s house for one night during the transition. While several families were chatting, someone lamented that Chao Ge\’s grandmother had worked hard to raise her children, but all the children had gone to other places to develop. After hearing this, grandma smiled and said: \”It\’s a good thing to go to other places. You can\’t train a thousand-mile horse at home, and you can\’t grow ten thousand-mile pine trees in a pot.\” The thousand-mile horse ran countless times in the vast world before he got the idea of ​​\”traveling a thousand miles a day\” This ability was appreciated by Bole for this reason. The reason why the Ten Thousand Years Pine can remain standing all year round is because it has been baptized by the sun and the moon and has grown into a tall and straight posture. It can be seen that if you want your children to have fruitful harvests in the future, the mother\’s pattern is particularly important. The world view, outlook on life, and values ​​passed on by the mother to the child form the child\’s perspective on the world, and ultimately determine the child\’s height. The host Dong Qing once said: \”What kind of person you want your child to be, it\’s very simple, you just have to be that kind of person.\” A far-sighted mother has already cultivated her own pattern and perfected her education model. . As a mother with a big picture, in the process of family education, you must not owe these \”three debts\”: 1. Tell your children not to owe \”study debts\”: let your children understand that they should study hard when they should study. , don’t give up easily when it’s time to work hard. The books you have read will accumulate wealth in your life and will help you in every major exam in the future. 2. Don’t owe “accompanying debt” on the road to education: Educating your children well is the most important task for parents. Instead of giving expensive gifts to children and giving them rich material things, it is better to spend your free time calmly and accompany your children to grow up, read, practice calligraphy, exercise, etc. High-quality companionship is worse than anything else. 3. Teach by words and deeds, and don’t owe the “bottom line”: Character is the most important trump card in the world. Teach your children by example not to lose their bottom line no matter what they do, and to remember that morality comes first. \”Family Education\” writes: \”The source of a child\’s moral development lies in the mother\’s wisdom, emotion and inner passion. How a person becomes in his own moral development depends on what kind of mother he has.\” A powerful Mom, worth all the great education. Light up \”Like\”, and from now on, walk side by side with your child, strive to be a good and qualified mother, and accompany your child to grow better.