Don\’t compete with your adolescent children. When parents start competing with their children, you lose the parent-child relationship.

People always say that adolescence can be confusing, that adolescence is rebellious, and that adolescence is a \”troubled time\” when various problems occur. Adolescence is like a beast and a ferocious bird that troubles this parent. If there are some family changes, the parents\’ marriage breaks up, and the family education is wrong, then this adolescent child may be a time bomb in the family, and there is no telling when it will explode. The age of fourteen is a critical period for personality transition, and it is also the most important middle stage of adolescence. More and more junior high school children are experiencing shock, confrontation, entanglement, and contradictory emotional states than those in high school. To use a popular saying nowadays, junior high school children are more critical than high school children in terms of study, grades, interpersonal relationships, and education. In the most unstable stage of personality formation, all principles, preaching, lessons, and confrontations may become the trigger for children to get into trouble. Just like a child in the third grade of junior high school today, who failed in the exam, there was a huge gap in the child\’s heart. The seemingly sudden decline in learning actually contained the child\’s depression and worry. His grades fluctuated since the second grade of junior high school. Despite the child\’s many efforts, there seemed to be no signs of recovery and improvement. Seeing his mother\’s increasingly anxious, angry, and anxious expression, the child\’s heart was in a knot in his heart, in order to make his mother happy. He began to use some unfair means to maintain and improve his test scores. And it was terrible to carry myself inside, and I began to bear huge psychological pressure. However, when it came time to face the provincial examination, the method he had used could not be implemented, so a huge performance gap suddenly appeared, which completely suffocated him. Because he was afraid that teachers and classmates would question him and that his views would change. What he was even more afraid of was that when he returned home, his mother would sigh helplessly and be disappointed and sad that he did not do well in the exam. My mother once overcame the objections of everyone (father, grandparents) and started giving him various tutoring classes in the first grade. Even though various tutoring courses require a lot of tuition fees, my mother does not hesitate. Later, the marriage broke up due to differences, and the children followed their mother and left their father after experiencing the turmoil of family discord and quarrels between their parents. The child accepted all the antagonisms, pulls, and conflicts that occurred in the family as a member of the family, and assumed the role of father after the separation of mother and father. This character has all the emotional exchanges that a mother would have with him as a friend. Parents may not understand that as friends between parents and children, more parents can give their children respect and trust without being an authority. Instead of conveying your own emotional sorrow and mistakes to your children without talking about anything. Because children are children after all. They are still developing, and many cognitions and personalities are being formed. They do not yet have the perfect cognition to understand and balance the entanglements and sorrows in the adult world. Therefore, parents who talk to their children about their injuries without any scruples and project their anger and complaints on their children as \”friends\” will only make the children feel overwhelmed. As a child of both parents, he cannot take sides. No matter which side he is on, he is fighting against his other self. It just makes him feel lonely and helpless. As many children expressed: I don’t want to stay at home because anything she (the parent) says will make herI was sad, that environment suffocated me. I would feel like an island, alone. Parents\’ so-called friends sometimes just treat their children as friends, but when they control their children, they will demand and criticize from the perspective of an authority. So, when you find that your child is tired, please give him time and space where he can relax and release. Don\’t talk to your child about big things, don\’t teach him what he did wrong, and don\’t nag him endlessly. Keep a certain distance from your children. If you find that your children are starting to criticize you, don\’t confront them head-on. Be a fully accepting parent and tolerate all conflicts and grievances of your children. Just giving attention and acceptance, when you start to focus on your own improvement, is equivalent to giving your children time to relax, think and reflect on themselves. Just like Dong Yuhui said about his adolescence, he always quarreled with his mother until his leg was injured and broken, and he drank a summer mother\’s brand pork rib soup. No matter how picky he was about his mother, her mother still gave him care and tolerance. Finally, his most rebellious period gradually melted away with his mother\’s pork rib soup. So parents, please remember that adolescent children are confrontational and like to argue. Just understand, know, and listen. Children gradually establish themselves against their parents. If parents study hard, their children will make progress every day.