What should I do if my child is always perfunctory about homework? No hitting or scolding, these tips will make children fall in love with learning!

I often read your articles and learned a lot about family education methods, which I find very helpful. I encountered a problem recently and I hope you can answer it. My children are now in fourth grade, and their overall performance is quite good. Basically, I don’t have to worry about them. I can finish their homework relatively quickly when I get home from school every day, which is very gratifying to me. Last Friday, as soon as the child came home, he went into his room to do his homework. It took more than an hour to finish it. I felt like I was writing faster than usual, so I asked him: \”Are you writing so fast today? Let me take a look.\” He said: \”Look at everything, I have finished writing, do you still want to check? Don\’t you believe me?\” \”I said, \”I just think you write faster, and I want to confirm it, so as not to be criticized by the teacher when I go back to school.\” I was shocked when I saw the results. His homework was like ghost drawings. Some calculation questions only wrote one result. The handwriting is very sloppy, with dragons and phoenixes flying around, and it is basically unclear. If I check a few randomly, half of the answers are wrong. After watching it, I felt really angry and disappointed. Why was the child so perfunctory and completely irresponsible for his own affairs? Teacher, how do you solve this situation where we only focus on speed but not quality? Hello anxious mom! Thank you for your trust. The article can provide some help to parents and provide some useful suggestions. I am also very happy. You mentioned that when children write homework, they only focus on speed but not on quality, right or wrong, and do it perfunctorily. Many parents have encountered this situation. This phenomenon may be a kind of \”passive-aggressive\” mentality. What is passive aggressive? It means that you don\’t agree with something, but you don\’t dare to resist it openly. You can only deal with it through some passive forms, such as procrastination, procrastination, perfunctory, pursuing speed instead of quality, etc. Correspondingly, those homework assignments that are not completed or cannot be completed are \”active attacks.\” Why passive aggressive? Usually it is caused by the fear of taking the initiative to attack or express. This phenomenon also exists in our work. If a person feels that the work assigned by the leader is completely meaningless and worthless, but he has to do it, he may just deal with it casually and make up for it. This is the same situation as when children only pursue speed but not quality when writing homework. Children are passively aggressive, usually because they dare not resist or express their thoughts, and can only express them through passive, perfunctory and coping methods. The solution can actually be divided into several steps. First, transform \”passive aggression\” into \”active expression\”, and then find a way to transform it into \”complete initiative\”. The child\’s \”passive aggression\” means that he has ideas but he dare not say them. If parents can create a safe and democratic atmosphere for their children and slowly allow them to express themselves, the child may slowly open up. He may say to you: I think the homework is too difficult, or I think the homework is completely meaningless, I know it well, etc. This can be understood as a kind of \”active expression\”, which is better because at least you know what he is thinking. After you understand the idea, you can have corresponding countermeasures, instead of forcing the child to complete it indiscriminately. Yin Jianli, the author of the classic family education book \”A Good Mother is Better than a Good Teacher\”, once said that she would help her children complete the tasks when her daughter was young.Some copying assignments allow children to have more time to rest, and this will not affect their learning results. Of course, \”active expression\” shows that there is still resistance, and we hope it will be better to become completely active. This will of course take longer and more effort, and cannot be accomplished overnight. How to change children\’s learning and homework from passive to active is a big problem and one that many parents are concerned about. We can change our thinking. If you are a boss, how can you change your employees from passive to proactive without increasing their wages? You can plan his promotion prospects in the next few years and let him know his development direction; you can give him more freedom and decision-making power within his scope of responsibilities, so that he can feel autonomy and initiative in his work. ; You can often praise him for what he has done well in the company, ask him to share his experience, let others learn from him, etc., to increase his sense of value; you can give him more respect and make him aware of his own Work is actually very important and increases his sense of honor. These methods can give an employee a sense of autonomy, value, and honor. He may not completely fall in love with his job, but he will definitely be more positive. The same goes for educating children. You must also find ways to give your children more free space. He can decide when and where to do his homework, whether he can listen to music and do his homework, etc. You can often discuss with your child the end of learning. What\’s the use? Let him know the purpose of learning. If he thinks clearly, he will be more autonomous and his learning will have a goal. If you don\’t discuss this with your child, he will always be passive. You have to be right Children must be encouraged and praised more for what they have done well and achieved, so that they can feel a sense of value and achievement. These methods may give children more initiative in learning. Hope these suggestions can solve your confusion.