If the child is anxious and tired of studying, the mother should remember to replenish energy first (attached are 3 ways to quickly increase energy)

Six months ago, a mother consulted me because her son was tired of studying. My son is in his first year of high school and doesn\’t want to go to school at all. He just wants to play games and sleep in at home every day. He orders takeout when he\’s hungry. He doesn\’t talk to her. He stays alone in his room and won\’t come out unless he can. If she asked a few questions, the child would become impatient and even look at her with a bit of hatred. She was in pain and didn\’t know what to do. I gave some advice at the time, but within a few days, she found me again. She said, \”Teacher, I have tried all the methods, but they don\’t work.\” I\’m curious to ask why. \”I feel very powerless. I can\’t love this child at all. I just want to stay away from him. Is my mentality abnormal?\” To be honest, my first reaction at the time was: \”How can I not love my child?\” ? \”Because I have become a mother myself, and I truly feel the love that comes from my heart for my children. So when she said that, I had doubts in my heart. I remember the last advice I gave her was: \”Then love yourself first, make yourself better, and then love your children.\” I share this story with you because during this period, after I experienced my children\’s anxiety and dislike of school, Suddenly I understood that mother. 02One day, my son broke down and cried because of a very small thing. I watched him for nearly an hour, rolling on the ground heartbreakingly, beating the ground desperately. I approached him, but was violently pushed away. No matter how much I empathized with him, it was ineffective. I felt powerless, afraid, and collapsed. Swept in like a tidal wave. At that moment, I suddenly wanted to run away. I pride myself on being knowledgeable about family education, but at that moment, my mind went blank and I had no idea what to do. Yes, I was panicked. I was afraid of feeling out of control and that something might happen to my child. That day, I suddenly remembered what the mother had said, and I understood why she felt that way. It\’s not that she doesn\’t love her children, it\’s that she doesn\’t have the ability to love them anymore. Because at that moment, she was in extreme internal friction, her energy was low, and she couldn\’t even love herself, let alone her children. So do I. During that time, I was trapped in an emotional black hole. I couldn\’t muster the energy to do anything. I couldn\’t catch my child\’s emotions, let alone help him resume school. American psychology professor David Hawkins once proposed the \”energy hierarchy theory\”: the lower the energy level, the lower the mood. When a person is depressed, all he can feel is frustration, powerlessness, and even despair. Deal with emotions first before you can deal with things. And people who have been trapped in emotions cannot solve problems well, let alone share love to nourish their children. 03 If you ask me what to do, it’s actually the same advice: get yourself better first. Work hard to increase your energy value so that you have enough strength to deal with all the chicken feathers. As Romain Rolland said: \”Let the soul take a rest, nourish the wounds it loves while running around in the world, and then run again.\” The following are 3 ways to quickly increase energy that I have personally tested and effective, and share them with you: 1. Cook yourself a meal carefully. \”Midnight Diner\” mentioned: \”Food is energy, healing, and precious.\” To empower yourself, start with a carefully prepared meal. Leave everything behind, just focus on cooking porridge and rice, and feel the water flowing when washing the rice, carefully cut each root vegetable, slowly watch the ingredients being cooked in the wok, and finally savor the fragrant meal. Taste in the world is pure joy. When you enjoy that moment of nourishment, a lot of power will be generated in your body. 2. Use force to make yourself sweat. Dr. Tarr of Harvard University once said: \”Exercise is the most powerful psychotropic drug.\” When we feel that our energy is low and we can\’t get motivated to do anything, then try to get ourselves moving. Bar. Yoga, swimming, cycling, running, brisk walking… no matter what form of exercise you are willing to do, you can do it. The key is to get yourself moving, preferably to sweat. Let the sweat take away the depression in your heart and make yourself refreshed again. 3. Get together seriously with your friends. Fu Seoul once said: \”If there is someone who pays attention to your thoughts and your pain, it is not because they are with you all the time, but because they really care about you.\” If you have this Friends, when your energy is low, feel free to talk. Talk about your own troubles, and they will use their knowledge to inspire you and heal you. They are energy bars that can restore your health. Have a good talk, pour out the bitter water, and let happiness slip in. Written at the end: British psychologist Winnicott once said: \”Everyone is an energy ball. If you charge it regularly, it will gradually become larger and show bright colors; on the contrary, if you do not pay attention to maintenance, it will It shrinks day by day until it collapses and becomes dim. \”We will always have moments when our energy is low. This is not terrible. What is terrible is that we keep ourselves in a bad state and do not work hard to get out. Therefore, we must remember to cheer ourselves up! Empower yourself more so that negative energy will not always find you. And when we are full of energy, we will get twice the result with half the effort when we solve our children\’s problems. Do you want to try it?