Yu Minhong: I have told my daughter more than once that you may not succeed, but you must grow.

Give up or continue? My daughter has played piano since primary school and won first place in the \”Vancouver Children\’s Piano Competition\” when she was seven years old. When I was eight years old, I passed the piano level 10 exam. In Canada, Grade 10 is the highest level for piano. At that time, my wife thought that a pianist was going to be born in the family, so she started to increase the dosage for her daughter. Originally, I studied piano for one and a half hours per week, which increased to five hours per week. This made my daughter\’s enthusiasm suddenly drop. After struggling for less than a year, she said to me: \”Dad, I don\’t want to learn anymore. I have no interest in piano anymore.\” I looked at my daughter and thought, what should I do? ? I said to my daughter: \”Don\’t learn if you are not interested. Regardless of whether you learn piano or not, dad knows that you were once the first place in the Vancouver Children\’s Piano Competition. You decide for yourself whether you want to play piano or not. This is what dad says to you.\” \”My daughter left happily, but my wife was not happy. She insisted that her daughter continue to study. Later, my wife and I discussed that during this period, let the child pause for a while to help her calm down and adjust her mood. Because in my opinion, if a child is not interested and we still force her to continue learning, it will cause her to have a rebellious mentality. A week later, I went to a concert with my daughter. After the concert, I said to my daughter: \”Baby, look, you play the piano so well. It would be a pity not to continue playing. You have studied for so many years and endured so much hardship. You just threw it away. I feel aggrieved for your efforts. When you go to high school or college and have classmates sing, if you can play the piano to accompany them, everyone will think you are awesome, right? , I asked you to learn the piano because I hope you can have another partner in the future. You know? When you grow up, everyone will have a lot of loneliness. If my mother and I are not with you at that time, there will be a piano to accompany you. , you won’t feel lonely, because you can talk. I often feel lonely, but I don’t have a channel to vent my emotions. Sometimes, I especially wish I could play an instrument like you, so that I can. Play or blow out the depression and loneliness in my heart, and I will be much happier. But I don\’t know how to do it, and I don\’t have time to learn. So, I don\’t want you to be like me in the future, and I don\’t want you to give up the piano so easily. But, I will not force you to play the piano. \”Happiness will make children actively pursue greater progress. Later, I found that when we did not force my daughter to play the piano, she started practicing on her own. Sometimes when I get tired of doing homework, I play the piano for about 15 minutes, and then continue to do my homework. When I get tired, I play again. In this way, I can play for two or three hours a week. Now, she still plays the piano very fluently and is also starting to be interested in other instruments. One day half a year ago, she said she wanted to learn to play drums. I said, \”Okay, buy a set and take it home to practice.\” As a result, after practicing for a period of time, she joined the Vancouver Youth Symphony Orchestra and played in the band. drummer. Confidence was developed little by little. Now, when she talks about music with her classmates, she is not only enthusiastic, but also appreciates her performance in music. Children are like this, happiness will make them pursue moreGreat joy. Three years ago, I took her to see a Disney Dancing on Ice show, where the performers were all former world figure skating champions, all wearing Disney costumes. My daughter has loved going to Disney since she was a child. After watching it, she was very excited and said to me, \”I want to become the Ice Dancing Champion.\” I thought to myself, how is this possible? Those champions all started learning when they were six or seven years old, and now she is 11 years old. But I said: \”Okay, you go and learn.\” Abroad, there are many skating rinks and the fees are very cheap, about two or three dollars a time. My wife hired a coach for her daughter to teach her ice dancing. Because she likes it very much, she works hard and studies very hard. Normally, she doesn\’t get up at eight o\’clock every day. After starting to learn ice dancing, she goes to the skating rink to practice at six o\’clock. Her movements are graceful and the coach is very pleased with her progress. However, one time, she jumped up and did a 360-degree spin in the air, and accidentally sprained her foot when she landed. Her dream of skating was shattered. Later, she kept discovering new dreams. Now, she\’s into snowboarding again. This is a sport that requires a lot of physical coordination and bravery, but she is willing to practice it. I know that as long as you love it, you will have endless motivation. Last week, she told me that she was going to New Zealand to participate in snowboarding events and competitions this summer. Seeing my daughter’s enthusiasm for life growing day by day, I am also full of expectations for her growth. Get out of the rush for quick success and teach your children a lesson about aesthetics. Parents should cultivate a good mood in their children. I have always felt that for children, book learning is only a part of learning, and cultivating their good mood is more important. What is a good state of mind? It is an emotional state of loving life and nature. How many of our parents have taken their children out at night to look at the stars? Probably not much. Not long ago, I saw a piece of news on the Internet: the topic of the high school entrance examination essay in a certain province was \”What do the stars in the sky tell us?\” One student only wrote one sentence: \”Excuse me, teacher, where are the stars?\” Can the child Don\’t you know where the stars are? Definitely know. However, the child did not see it with his own eyes. Once, I took my son and daughter to the beach in Cuba. It happened to be the night of the fifteenth day of the lunar calendar, and the moon slowly rose from the sea. Our whole family sat on the beach by the sea and watched the moon rise little by little. The waves pushed the moonlight and kept floating around us. There was a kind of \”the bright moon on the sea rises with the tide.\” \”The feeling is very beautiful. We watched for about an hour and a half, and the weather slowly got cooler. I said to the two children: \”It\’s a little cold, let\’s go back.\” My daughter said: \”I don\’t want to go back, I want to watch the moon rise above my head.\” I sat with her for three hours. My daughter has never sat motionless for so long. I know that this beautiful scenery has touched her soul. On the way back, my daughter said to me: \”I discovered that the world is one.\” I asked her what she meant. She said: \”Didn\’t you notice? The sea, the moon and people are not separated.\” My daughter\’s words made me feel that that night was fruitful. She had new experiences and discoveries about nature. Now, under my cultivation, my daughter likes nature very much. naturalThe scenery made her mind broader and increased her love for the world and life. I think that throughout a child\’s life, the objective environment will continue to change, and what they can change is very limited. Only their state of mind always belongs to them. Parents help their children build a beautiful state of mind, which helps them transcend worldly troubles and fetters, reach a higher realm of life, and make life elegant and rich. Children\’s lives should have a poetic and elegant part, and they should have the ability to appreciate all the beauty. However, few children in China now have a poetic mood and an elegant life, because our education is too eager for quick success and does not give room for poetry and elegance to grow. Parents should teach their children this lesson. In fact, the word \”beautiful\” is inseparable from children\’s lives. When children\’s hearts are full of poetry and they are in an emotional state of lasting love for nature, their lives must be beautiful. You can fail but you must grow. Every year when my daughter returns to China, I take her to some poor areas or minority areas. The year before last, I took her to Qinghai, and last year, I took her to Yunnan to let her see how children in poor areas live. At first, my daughter did not dare to go to the toilet in rural areas, because the toilets in some backward areas were built outside with two wooden boards on top, which was very crude. We went in the summer, it was very hot, and there were thousands of maggots crawling under the wooden boards in the toilet. In the past, she had only seen toilets at home and in hotels, so she was neither used to nor afraid of such toilets, but after two or three months, she got used to them. Therefore, many things can be practiced. Returning to China this summer, she joined a foreign team alone to support rural teaching in poor areas of China. She sorted out all the clothes that were too small for her, took them over and gave them to the students she taught. I am very happy about this, because I want to cultivate my daughter\’s love for life and kindness to others. There are two things a child cannot live without. First, love for life is indispensable. No matter how good your studies are, even if you are not in university but just in technical secondary school or junior college, you must be full of love for life and life. Second, the ability to cooperate and share with others is indispensable. People are social animals and need to give and warm each other. This is an ability and a responsibility that children should consciously bear. Not long ago, my daughter’s school held a leadership development training camp, recruiting only 15 people. As a result, more than 100 people from the whole school signed up, and they had to take exams, fill out forms, write their own essays, and finally have interviews. My daughter came home and told me that she had signed up and was ready to participate. My wife and I were very surprised because our daughter is introverted and doesn\’t like to talk in front of others. But my wife and I both nodded and said, \”Okay, we support you!\” But we felt a little sweat for her in our hearts. Unexpectedly, my daughter actually passed the interview. At that time, the examiner asked her: \”Do you have any leadership experience? Why do you want to participate in this leadership training camp?\” My daughter said: \”That\’s right, I know I have no leadership experience, but I My father is a very capable person. He is someone I admire. I want to learn from my father.I will be like my father in the future. Just because I don’t have leadership skills now, I hope to enter this leadership training camp to not only serve everyone but also lead everyone. \”Her words made the examiner laugh. The results were announced on the third day. A total of 15 people were admitted, and she was actually among them. I am very pleased with my daughter\’s progress, because she has been an introverted child who doesn\’t like to talk since she was a child. Now, Her performance like this shows that she is growing up, full of confidence and full of ideals. I remember an American professor once said to me: \”Chinese children live too tiredly. In their lives, there are only two words – one is \’success\’ and the other is \’hard work\’. He also asked me very strangely: \”You don\’t give your children happiness, but you keep saying that you want your children to be happy. Is this possible?\” \”We are indeed too obsessed with success, but I know very well that for this generation of children, their success must be based on happiness. Otherwise, in the future of integrated world economy and cultural exchanges, competition will become increasingly fierce. Without happiness as a foundation, they will not go far. As a father, I have two educational goals for my two children. The first is to cultivate their positive attitude through happy life experiences, and the second is to actively help them grow. . I believe that growth is more important than success. I hope to guide children to fully realize their potential, live happily, and be the best version of themselves. I have said to my daughter more than once: \”You can fail, but you can\’t fail to grow.\” \”