The better parents can pretend, the stronger their children will be

There is a sentence in the book \”Special Cruelty, Special Love\”: \”The love that Chinese parents give their children is not too little, but too much.\” There are many kinds of love from parents. Every stitch of care is love, three meals a day The care is also love. It is never the best policy to use force to force someone, but it is the best way to overcome the situation with softness. Learning to \”pretend\” is a kind of soft wisdom, and it also gives children strong strength. Those weaknesses that parents pretend to be will eventually become a booster for their children\’s growth. 01 Pretending to be weak Li Meijin once said in \”The Round Table School\”: \”After the child is 12 years old, parents must learn to show weakness and often throw problems to their children, and they will gain mature and confident children who can help their parents handle things together.\” Showing weakness is essentially a sign of weakness. It is the greatest trust, respect and letting go of children. In family education, the dominance of parents often makes teenagers feel oppressed and nervous, thus losing their self-confidence and independence. Parents, think back to this: when you are aggressive with your child, he becomes very nervous, but once you show weakness appropriately, the child becomes very independent and knows how to make arrangements. Learning to show weakness and showing one\’s vulnerable side can stimulate teenagers\’ independent opinions and self-arrangement abilities. When parents no longer control and command blindly, but show weakness appropriately, teenagers will feel a sense of responsibility to protect and support. The psychological principle behind this shift is “self-efficacy”—an individual’s belief in their ability to complete a specific task. Through parents showing weakness, teenagers will realize their importance in the family and feel that their abilities are recognized. This recognition not only boosts their self-confidence but also promotes their independence. Teenagers need to constantly try and learn in practice, and parents\’ weakness gives them more opportunities to take responsibility and make decisions. Teenagers who grow up in this environment will gradually develop stronger autonomy and decision-making abilities, laying a solid foundation for independent life in the future. For example: Ask your children for their opinions and suggestions when facing family matters, or ask your children to help solve problems when you encounter them. Through these methods, teenagers can not only feel needed and trusted, but also continuously improve their self-efficacy in practice. Eventually, they will become more confident, independent, and able to deal with life\’s challenges on their own. 02 Pretend to be stupid. The ancients said: Learning to pretend to be stupid, turning big things into small things, and turning small things into small things is a kind of wisdom in life and a rare blessing. In fact, when you are with teenagers, you must act stupid. Never understand more than your children. Once you understand, your children no longer need to understand. Pretend you don\’t understand anything and let your children teach you, mobilize your children\’s enthusiasm, and stimulate the youth\’s desire to teach. In family education, parents often inadvertently deprive teenagers of the opportunity to explore and learn because they are too understanding. When parents pretend not to understand and let teenagers teach them, children will feel excited and motivated because of the opportunity to guide their parents. The \”self-determination theory\” in psychology emphasizes that individual motivation comes from a sense of autonomy, competence, and relatedness. When teenagers teach their parents, they experience this sense of competence, which in turn stimulates motivation and interest in learning. For example: Ask your child to explain the steps when using a new technology product, or ask your child to explain a difficult problem when doing homework. through theseThrough interaction, teenagers will not only feel the value of their knowledge, but also enhance their self-confidence and self-efficacy. This kind of experience will make them more proactive in learning and exploring. Because they know that their knowledge and abilities are useful and recognized and valued by their families. In addition, parents\’ \”acting stupid\” behavior can also promote communication and interaction between parents and children. In the process of teaching their parents, teenagers will feel a special connection and understanding, which helps to enhance the cohesion and harmonious atmosphere of the family. In this way, teenagers can not only improve their knowledge and practical abilities, but also grow up in a pleasant and relaxed environment. Pretending not to understand is actually a smart educational strategy. It can not only stimulate teenagers\’ interest and motivation in learning, but also cultivate their self-confidence and independence. 03 Pretend to be naive When it comes to learning, children often feel stressed out because they are afraid of making mistakes. If parents panic when they see their children making mistakes, then the children will be even more panicked than you. Take it lightly. It is normal for children to make mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes. As soon as the child relaxes, he may get the wrong question right. At this time, if our parents can \”pretend to be naive\” and treat their mistakes lightly, we can effectively reduce their psychological burden. As teenagers grow up, making mistakes is inevitable. However, the anxiety and panic that many parents show when their children make mistakes is often passed on to their children, making them feel more nervous and self-blame. On the contrary, if parents can treat mistakes with a calm attitude, children will gradually learn to face their own mistakes calmly. The \”emotion transmission theory\” in psychology points out that emotions can be transmitted between individuals. Parents\’ calmness and calmness can help teenagers relax and find solutions to problems more easily. When parents treat their children\’s mistakes with a calm and tolerant attitude, the children will feel a sense of security and support, thereby reducing the stress and anxiety caused by making mistakes. In real life, parents can convey this indifferent attitude in some specific ways. For example, when a child makes a mistake, parents can discuss the cause of the problem with the child in a gentle tone instead of immediately criticizing or punishing. In this way, children will realize that mistakes are not scary but an opportunity to learn and grow. In such an atmosphere, teenagers can relax more and gradually learn to self-reflect and self-correct. By facing mistakes calmly, parents not only help teenagers develop a relaxed attitude, but also provide them with a tolerant and understanding environment in which they can grow. In such an environment, teenagers can face life\’s challenges with more confidence, bravely explore and try, and thus continue to grow and progress. 04 Pretending to be dumbfounded, I think that parents who have never quarreled with their children may not exist in life, but the impulse to be sharp-tongued has penetrated the child’s heart, and also muddied the pool of parents’ love for their children. Spring water. Faced with teenagers\’ procrastination and lack of seriousness, many parents will become impatient, but this impatience is often counterproductive. Don\’t be anxious. Once you are anxious, the child will not be anxious. When the child sees that his mother cannot count on him, he will take it seriously. \”Mirror neuron\” theory table in psychologyIt turns out that children imitate and copy their parents’ emotional states. If parents remain calm and collected, teens will instead realize their responsibilities and take the task at hand seriously. When teenagers see that their parents are not in a hurry, they feel they need to work harder to achieve their goals. In practice, parents can convey this calm and collected attitude in some concrete ways. For example, when teenagers procrastinate on homework, parents can choose to gently remind them rather than push them impatiently. Children will feel their parents\’ patience and trust, which will stimulate their inner motivation to complete tasks. Parents can use positive words to encourage their teens. For example: \”I believe you can do this well, all you need is some time and patience.\” This calm and collected attitude not only helps to reduce tensions in the family, but also helps teenagers learn self-management and Self-regulation. Under the influence of their parents, teenagers will gradually understand that when encountering difficulties and challenges, calmness and patience can help them find solutions to problems more than impatience and anxiety. Let us use this kind and enlightening way to help teenagers grow up calm and collected and become more mature and independent people. 05 The Wisdom of Love Every child needs to grow up in an atmosphere of love. And this kind of love is not only reflected in meticulous care, but also reflected in parents\’ ability to let go of their authority and give their children space to explore and grow independently. These methods are not simple techniques, but an adjustment of mentality and a deep concern for the growth of teenagers. The wisdom of parents lies not only in the transmission of knowledge and experience, but also in the transmission of emotions and attitudes. By showing weakness, parents make their children feel important and capable, enhancing their self-confidence and independence. By pretending to be stupid, parents help their children learn to face mistakes calmly and develop a positive attitude. By playing dumb, parents stimulate their children\’s desire to teach and learn, allowing them to grow through exploration. Through pretending, parents infect their children with calmness and patience, allowing them to learn to be serious and responsible. Parents\’ \”pretending\” hides their selfless love and far-reaching expectations for their children. Every tiny adjustment is made to allow children to thrive in freedom and understanding. The wisdom of parents lies not only in knowing when to guide and when to let go, but also in their ability to accompany their children through every step of their growth with a warm and inclusive attitude. Let us love with our hearts and guide with wisdom, so that young people can become more confident, independent and independent in an atmosphere of freedom and love. I hope every child can find his or her own direction in such an environment and embark on a solid and determined path to the future. Please leave a message to share your parenting experience, especially click \”Reading\” to share this article with more parents who need it! Please follow, forward, and like. Every support you give is infinite encouragement for the children\’s future. May our children thrive in the drizzle of love, and may we all become wise and sober parents.