Li Meijin: When a child loses his temper and parents refuse to compromise or suppress it, it is enough to learn these 5 tricks

A mother and I discussed a topic: \”How to educate children when they have a tantrum?\” When your child cries and makes a fuss, throws things, and hits people, your reaction…If you cry again, your mother will ignore you. I\’m leaving! If you cry again, the big bad wolf will take you away; Okay, okay, stop crying and I\’ll buy it for you, buy it for you; Okay, get up, and your mother will promise you when you get up. Parents and friends, these are the above Are you familiar with the scene of a child throwing a tantrum and crying? Faced with their children\’s sudden temper, parents are often faced with a dilemma: should they compromise unconditionally or suppress them severely? However, these two extreme approaches only treat the symptoms but not the root cause, and may also have a negative impact on the child\’s psychology. On the road to parenting, children often have tantrums, and their mood swings are like the ups and downs of ocean waves, sometimes calm and sometimes turbulent. Emotion management is not a talent, but a skill that requires careful cultivation by parents. The five tips proposed by Professor Li Meijin, a well-known education expert, not only provide parents with ways to deal with their children\’s tantrums, but also help children learn to manage their emotions and train them to become emotionally stable adults. When children lose their temper, parents usually resort to compromise or suppression, but this seems to be treating the symptoms rather than the root cause. 1: Compromise, cater to and meet the needs of children. When parents lose their temper when their children lose their temper, parents will compromise. When the child wins, the parents lose. He will develop a feeling: Losing his temper is omnipotent and can make me a strong person. After that, he will gradually become accustomed to using aggression and losing his temper to get everything he wants. Two: Suppression, using reprimands and reasoning to make children compromise. Parents use reprimands or reasoning to make children compromise. Children are afraid of their parents\’ authority and will also admit their mistakes and make corrections. He also develops a feeling that attacks are omnipotent and can tame the weak. Children will deflect their aggression onto other people and specifically bully the weakest person in the relationship. When a child loses his temper, parents can adopt the following five strategies: First, refuse to get involved and avoid emotional confrontation. When a child loses his temper, parents should avoid being directly involved in the child\’s emotional whirlpool. Because emotional confrontation between parents and children often leads to emotional escalation on both sides, parents\’ refusal to get involved can teach children that not all needs can be met immediately. By handling it calmly, parents can guide their children to learn to wait and comfort themselves, which is an important step in cultivating patience and self-control. For example, my aunt’s son Xiao Ming saw his favorite toy in a toy store and cried and asked to buy it. Faced with this situation, the aunt did not compromise immediately, but chose to divert attention and suggested going to the park to play. This way of handling avoids confrontation with the child\’s emotions and helps the child learn to self-regulate his emotions. Second, physical contact conveys love and security. When children are emotionally excited, parents’ physical contact can convey love and security. Physical touch is a form of nonverbal communication that conveys emotion and comfort without words. A hug, touch or handshake from a parent can quickly ease a child\’s tension and provide them with a safe emotional haven. For example, my son had an argument with me over homework and he was very emotional. I immediately gave him a hug, conveying love and support to my son\’s emotionsCalmed down. Physical contact is an effective way to ease children\’s emotions and helps children feel their parents\’ care when they are emotional. Third, guide children to express their emotions. Parents should encourage their children to express their emotions instead of suppressing them. Emotional expression is an important component of emotional intelligence. Parental guidance can help children learn to express emotions through words or actions rather than in an aggressive or negative way. Not only does this help your child’s emotional well-being, it’s also key to their social development. Xiaoli is frustrated because she didn\’t win a prize in a painting competition, and her father encourages her to express her frustration by using a paintbrush. Xiaoli released her emotions through artistic creation and learned how to deal with failure head-on. Parental guidance helps children find healthy ways to express their emotions. Fourth, communicate and listen to face problems together. Parents should communicate effectively with their children and listen to their thoughts and feelings. Effective communication is the basis for building parent-child relationships and solving problems. Parents\’ listening and understanding can help children feel valued and more willing to share their thoughts and feelings. This open communication environment helps children learn to express themselves and build good relationships with others. Xiaogang was bullied at school and felt depressed. Parents helped Xiaogang learn to face difficulties by listening patiently and analyzing problems together. Communicating and listening not only make children feel understood, but also develop their problem-solving skills. Fifth, help children learn to vent their emotions healthily. Parents should teach their children how to vent their emotions healthily. Emotional venting is an important aspect of emotion management. Parental guidance can help children learn to release their emotions through exercise, making art, or other healthy ways, rather than through negative or harmful behaviors. Not only does this help your child’s emotional well-being, it’s also key to developing a positive lifestyle. Xiao Min was anxious about failing in the exam, and her mother taught her to vent her emotions through exercise. Xiao Min released her stress through running and felt relaxed. Her mother\’s guidance helped Xiao Min find a healthy way to vent her emotions and learn how to manage her emotions. Cai Kangyong said: \”Having high emotional intelligence does not mean not losing your temper, but losing your temper reasonably, allowing your emotions to be expressed smoothly, and being yourself comfortably can make yourself and the world happy.\” There is no unreasonable temper. There are only unseen thoughts and demands. Psychology also says that children lose their temper because their psychological needs are not met. Finally, I hope parents can understand: if children are not allowed to lose their temper, they will have to bury their emotions in their hearts. It is not a bad thing for children to lose their temper. It just gives us the opportunity to understand our children. We can learn and apply the 5 methods shared by Professor Li Meijin to teach children the ability to manage their emotions and become emotionally stable people.