Do these two things and you will have a child who is full of gratitude

A mother told me that she was worried about her children. She had been frugal for many years and was reluctant to buy clothes. She spent all her money on her children. In order for my children to go to school, I took out a loan to buy a house in a school district. Now that the child is in junior high school, his academic performance is not good and he often contradicts her. She felt that the child was too ungrateful. If she died today, does she think the child might not even cry? 01 She once talked about this topic with her friends, who said: \”The children are still young and not sensible.\” She said: If the dog at home died, she thought the children would cry very sadly. Thinking about these two scenes, I feel very depressed deep inside. Crying is not directly related to being sensible. So what\’s the problem? Today we will explore the true logic of gratitude. What\’s the problem with this mother? She wants her children to be grateful, but she doesn’t understand the underlying logic of gratitude. 02Two core logics of gratitude: First: Is what you give the other person what he or she wants? You live frugally. Did your children ask you to do this? When you buy a house in a school district, are your children asking for it? If you never give your child what he really wants, why should he be grateful? Many parents feel that if they give birth to a child, the child should be grateful. But the child did not choose to come into this world. This kind of gratitude is based on the parents\’ own expectations and sacrifices, rather than on the true needs of the children. The premise of gratitude is to meet the needs of the other person, rather than unilaterally giving. For example, children may prefer their parents to spend more time with them rather than blindly provide material support. Only when children truly feel that their needs are understood and met will they feel grateful. In this case, parents need to reflect on whether their efforts truly meet their children\’s needs. Just material contributions are not enough to make children feel cared for and respected. Understanding children\’s interests and wishes and establishing real emotional connections with them can make children feel more grateful than simple material contributions. Second: Has the other party ever paid for you? This can explain why children may not cry when their parents die, but they will definitely cry when a dog dies. Because the child has given time and care to the dog, feeding, walking the dog, and taking care of its health, but he has not paid anything for you. In psychology, this is called a \”sense of investment.\” That is, the more the other party pays to you, the more they will value you. For parents, if their children do not have the opportunity to pay for you, it will be difficult for them to truly understand and feel what you have done for them. In daily life, parents often take on too many responsibilities without giving their children the opportunity to participate and contribute. Let children do what they can for the family and let them feel their own importance and value, so that they will be grateful for their parents\’ efforts. Many people mistakenly believe that as long as they give enough, the other person will be grateful. But the fact is that the other person will be grateful only if they have paid enough for you. Gratitude is a mutual emotional experience that requires interaction and dedication from both parties. For parents, cultivating their children\’s gratitude requires not only paying attention to their own contributions, but also giving their children the opportunity to contribute and participate. This two-way interaction allows children to understand their parents\’ hard work in the process of giving, and thus have a heart for them.grateful. In addition, parents can teach their children the importance of gratitude through words and deeds. In daily life, parents should set an example, express gratitude to others, and create a family atmosphere full of gratitude. In this way, children will subtly learn to be grateful, understand and appreciate their parents\’ efforts. In short, gratitude is not an emotional reward that can be obtained by one-sided efforts, but requires interaction and understanding from both parties. While giving, parents should pay attention to their children\’s real needs and allow their children the opportunity to participate in the family. Through your own efforts, you can truly appreciate the meaning of gratitude. In this way, children will feel grateful to their parents from the bottom of their hearts. 03 Cultivate children\’s gratitude first: communicate fully, understand each other, and do what they like. All relationships are based on mutual respect. Only in this way can the other person open up and understand what they really want. Instead of scrimping and spending to enroll your child in a cram school, it is better to take him to travel to places he has always wanted to visit. This not only allows children to feel the care and attention of their parents, but also strengthens the emotional connection between family members. In this way, parents can truly get into their children\’s hearts. Letting children feel the love and understanding of their parents is the prerequisite for children to learn well. In addition, parents need to maintain an open attitude when communicating with their children and actively listen to their children\’s thoughts and feelings. By establishing good communication channels, parents can better understand their children\’s needs and wishes, allowing them to make decisions that are more in line with their children\’s expectations. For example: Some children may prefer that their parents can provide more guidance and support in their studies, rather than blindly enroll in various training classes. By understanding the true needs of their children, parents can provide more targeted help and truly cater to their needs. Second: Find ways to make the other person pay for you. It is not impossible to let your children do more housework, but a better way is to ask your children for help. For example: ask children to help when fetching things, and ask for advice when doing housework. Involve your child fully in your life and make him feel important and capable, so that he will become more and more interested in helping you. In this way, children not only learn to take responsibility, but also experience a sense of accomplishment and pride in giving, which helps cultivate their gratitude. In addition, parents can cultivate their children\’s sense of giving through small daily things. For example, you can ask your children to help organize family activities or involve them in family decision-making. In this way, children will feel that they play an important role in the family and will be more willing to contribute to the family. In this process, children can not only learn more life skills, but also better understand and appreciate the hard work and dedication of their parents, thus developing feelings of gratitude. In life, this phenomenon is everywhere. For example, it is difficult for lickers to catch girls because they are always giving in one direction and impressing themselves. And some people who use tricks will make the other party spend more time and money, making it more difficult for the other party to extricate themselves. In the company, a person who works hard alone may not be reused, but if he can provide the leader with the results he wants and ask him for help in a timely manner, promotion and salary increase will be just around the corner. Human nature is complexYes, only by making the other party pay some price will they truly value you. This applies not only to parent-child relationships, but to all relationships. By allowing the other person to give to you, you strengthen your connection and understanding, leading to a stronger and healthier relationship. 04 To change the situation of children not being grateful, we first need to fully communicate, understand the children\’s real needs, and cater to their needs. Secondly, children should be given the opportunity to contribute to the family and experience responsibility and care through practical actions. Only in this way can children truly understand their parents\’ efforts and feel grateful. This two-way interaction and dedication not only enhances the emotional connection between family members, but also allows children to learn to be grateful and take responsibility as they grow up. This not only helps the parent-child relationship, but also lays a good foundation for the child\’s future interpersonal relationships.