Advice to parents: Don’t overdraw your children’s energy in primary school

Everyone knows that I have been a primary school teacher for 36 years, a class teacher, taught Chinese and mathematics, and personally took care of my daughter. Today’s article mainly talks about my teaching experience in the past years, and of course more about it. Six years of primary school cultivated my daughter’s observation and thinking. Among the graduates I sent away, I summarized and sorted them out and they can be roughly divided into three categories. First, those who have excelled all the way from elementary school and successfully entered their favorite colleges and universities account for a small proportion. The second is that their performance in primary school was mediocre, they stumbled through middle school, and then entered college haphazardly. Third, children whose grades in primary school are average or above, but after entering middle school, their potential is fully realized and they sing all the way to the top 985. The proportion of these children is not large. I have also paid attention to the family education of these three types of children. For example, children in the second type often spend a lot of energy in making up lessons in elementary schools. When they reach junior high school, there is another round of competition for making up lessons. When it comes to the children who need more energy, In high school, these children have exhausted all their efforts and are lucky to be able to maintain their status quo. This is what many parents call \”children who are excellent in elementary school but have insufficient stamina.\” Let me tell you a real story. One of my students 30 years ago, Xiaodong, had a score of around 90 in Chinese and Mathematics for six years in primary school, with the highest score never exceeding 95. His parents were hardworking workers. Although the parents are not highly educated, they do not show too much anxiety about their children\’s state, but are more encouraging and supportive. I wrote in my child’s graduation message: Although I didn’t see your best side in elementary school, I believe you left your wonderfulness to the future. Xiaodong made great progress in high school and was admitted to Northwestern Polytechnical University. Later, I met Xiaodong’s parents and found out that Xiaodong was a postdoctoral fellow and had taught at Northwestern Polytechnical University for many years. The above story is by no means an isolated case or a special case, but one of the many graduates I sent away. There are many more. The space is limited and I cannot go into details one by one. Life is a marathon, and only by properly allocating our strength can we win the final victory. Most of our children will go through institutional education, which lasts for 12 years in primary school and secondary school. This is a long time. So who will win in the end? Most of them are those children who have not been overdrawn in primary school and whose vitality is not damaged. I have observed and discussed the issue of top academics with graduating students. I found that in top middle schools, top academics are often not the kind of people who study hard, but are relaxed and well-planned. One of their most striking characteristics is that they will go all out for something they are sure of. As parents, the most important thing is from the time our children are born until they graduate from elementary school. It means using correct family education methods to guide children well and not to waste their energy prematurely. I followed this principle in accompanying my daughter to primary school for six years. The first is to ensure the physical and mental health of my daughter. Although I also value my daughter’s academic performance, I believe that the child’s health always comes first. Sleep, nutrition, and outdoor exercise are also indispensable. Since the first grade of elementary school, my daughter and I have established home study rules together, studying for 20 minutes and taking a break of 15 minutes. As soon as the study time comes, I will let my daughter take a 15-minute break. this timeIt is important to grasp the time well. Exceeding the time will not help the child quickly shift his attention to learning in the next 20 minutes. If it is too short, it will not achieve the effect of relieving the child\’s vision and mental fatigue. When my daughter rests, she will run to the big platform to play with sandbags, shuttlecock, etc., but they are not too violent. Soon my daughter came to the concept that exercise is rest. I often quietly observed her during class breaks, and she basically spent her time playing games on the playground with the children. Of course, there are many forms of outdoor sports, and it’s important to keep doing them. This habit has persisted until now at work, and my daughter has to take time out for outdoor exercise every day. Second, let children participate in family life. Many parents have a misunderstanding and always tell their children that you don’t have to worry about anything, just read the book well. I think it is not enough just to let children read good books. They should also be allowed to participate in daily family life. This is also for children to have a more comfortable real life in the future. For example, I have let my daughter participate in housework since she was a child. Daming and I have cultivated her labor habit since she was three years old. For example, returning the dishes and chopsticks to the kitchen after finishing the meal, setting up the family\’s slippers, cleaning during the New Year, etc., gradually let the daughter develop the habit of \”working all the time\”. Of course, due to the child\’s young age, he also made a lot of jokes. After his daughter went to school, she even wrote about it in her diary. My daughter and her brother also raised parrots and turtles together. Because they didn’t know how to raise parrots, they raised two male parrots in a cage, and they staged fighting scenes every day. This kind of personal experience will produce a real sense of existence and the meaning of life. Participate in family life, let the children gradually get rid of over-reliance on their parents, and become independent as soon as possible. When they are far away from their parents in the future, the children will love life, settle down themselves, and reduce their parents\’ worries. The third is to establish a clear self-awareness. Self-awareness is actually what we often call opinion. I believe that children’s opinions and opinions should be valued and respected from an early age. In this way, children dare to express their thoughts, parents listen carefully to their children\’s opinions, and children will naturally develop a clear self-awareness. The earlier you cultivate this kind of self-awareness, the better, because only with self-awareness can you have the ability to judge. In elementary school. I found that children who have a clear sense of self and clear goals are more proactive. But in daily life, children\’s self-awareness is always deprived by their parents under various excuses. That\’s why there is a meme circulating on the Internet, \”There is a kind of cold calling, mom thinks you are cold.\” In educating our daughters, all rules must be agreed with the daughter. For this reason, our family starts from the age of three, every Saturday night A small family meeting will be held, where everyone talks about their week\’s work or study. The content can be long or short. Sometimes I will also announce some family decisions, rules, etc. Although my daughter didn’t quite understand some of our conversations, she listened and spoke decently every time. In seemingly ordinary family meetings, self-awareness also took root in her daughter\’s heart. In our family life, children\’s growth is subtle. Parents should be good at using all aspects of daily life and do things that may seem useless at the moment: talking about their own affairs at the dinner table.Working, imagining a better future, taking a walk with our children… these little things will eventually pass on our parents\’ positive energy and worldview to our children silently and nourishingly.