The principal of the High School Affiliated to the Renmin University of China spoke clearly about education: high school, junior high school, and primary school are all important…

Shen Yifei, an associate professor at Fudan University, once mentioned in a discussion of \”The Dilemma of Education under Intensive Motherhood\”: \”Good parents must learn to follow the growth rhythm of their children and grasp their own roles at different stages, that is, being a good leader and companion. followers and followers.\” I deeply agree. Education is like growing crops. The crops grown will vary according to the four seasons and regions. When pruning seedlings, weeding, and watering, all should follow the growth characteristics of plants. How farmers treat their crops determines the fate of the crops; how parents educate their children determines their children\’s fate. Zhou Jianhua, principal of Aerospace City School of the High School Affiliated to Renmin University of China, reminded millions of parents: “Elementary school is about companionship, junior high school is about respect, and high school is about letting go. Parents should invest less energy in the future.” Parents value investing in their children in the present, rather than investing in the future. Panic remedy. 01 More companionship in primary school: the initial background of family education. There is a famous \”scissor effect\” in education, which means that the more time and energy parents spend with their children in childhood, the less worry and effort they will have in educating them when they grow up. If every newborn child comes into the world with a pure white empty bottle, they have an initial starting point, and what makes the difference in the end is nothing more than what their parents put into the bottle. If parents store unlimited amounts of quality character and good habits in the bottle, their children will naturally grow into outstanding adults with upright views. When parents put early emotional neglect and neglect into the bottle, it will make their children have low self-esteem, sensitivity, irritability, and aversion to learning. Occasionally, I saw a netizen sharing her mother’s education methods: her mother taught her to keep a diary from the first grade; she competed with her in memorizing poems; when the family was in the most financial difficulties, she even cut down on daily expenses just to buy books for her. ; When she was in junior high school, she read all the world famous books in the bookstore next door. The most amazing thing is that her mother never left the books to her to read alone, but read with her and recited the contents of the book during dinner. Content, discuss interesting parts. Because of her mother\’s companionship on the road to education, her essays were always read as model essays in the class from the third grade of elementary school to the third year of high school. In her three years of high school, her Chinese language score stabilized at around 140, and she was finally admitted to her ideal college. Under the influence of her mother, she never felt that learning was painful, and she fell in love with learning from then on. After reading this story, I couldn\’t help but think of the white-haired uncle from my neighbor\’s house who was surprised when I went home during the Chinese New Year. After asking about the reason, I found out that the root cause of the problem was his child Zhihui. When Zhihui was still young, his parents were doing business to make money and wanted to give their children better living conditions. In elementary school, he never cared about his studies. When he entered junior high school, he began to skip school. He spent his weekly living expenses and pocket money on playing games online and squandering money. His uncle reluctantly sent him to a vocational high school through connections. In less than a month, He dropped out of school and stayed at home, leading a decadent life of playing games and eating takeout. The uncle had no other choice but to keep him by his side and let him run the business with him. Loving children is something that any old hen can do. How to love children correctly is the real issue for parents. The growth of a child cannot be achieved overnight, whether it is a waste or a talent, there are traces to follow. Behind this, parents and children are the cause and effect of each other. Parents who do not act, do not accompany and do not discipline create children who do not thinkIf children are aggressive, such children will only absorb their parents\’ energy in the future, causing their parents to become haggard and exhausted both physically and mentally. On the contrary, early companionship education is a mutual nourishment. In primary school, companionship is more important than grades. The purpose of companionship is to develop good habits and shape good character. Outstanding children are all “accompanied” by their parents since childhood. In the new semester, if parents do the following two things, they can get twice the result with half the effort: 1. Accompanying habits: low scores can be used to win and achieve counterattacks, but once bad habits are developed, It\’s difficult to correct. At the primary school stage, parents must pay close attention to their children\’s habits, which requires them to read together, supervise their children\’s careful writing, remind their children to preview and review, lead their children to read aloud, and encourage their children to think independently. 2. Set an example: Just staying by your child’s side is ineffective companionship. Effective companionship is setting a role model and growing together with your child in companionship. If they want to raise children who love sports, parents must take their children to sweat on the sports field; if they want to raise children who love reading, parents must first expand their horizons through reading. The best parents do not rely on preaching and commanding to educate their children, but practice it personally and transform their own actions into motivation for their children to move forward. 02 Respect in junior middle school: a key turning point in children’s growth. The \”Survey and Analysis Report on the Suicide Phenomena of Middle School Students\” released by the Peking University Institute of Child and Adolescent Health pointed out that 1 in 5 middle school students has considered suicide, accounting for 20.4% of the total number of survey samples. Searching the Internet for news about middle school students \”jumping off buildings\” and \”committing suicide\” brings up so many frightening news. Behind the cold numbers and cases stand rows of desperate parents, destroying families that could have been happy. No wonder some people say: When a child reaches adolescence, success will be achieved if he does not jump off the building. Junior high school is the prelude to children entering adolescence, and a storm is bound to pass through thousands of households. Once children enter adolescence, their psychology grows like mushrooms, their sense of self-independence increases, and interpersonal crises and challenges make them prone to struggle in emotional whirlpools. They long for others to recognize them as adults, but due to the limitations of social experience and life experience, they can never get rid of the \”childish feeling\” label. An unintentional glance from a stranger, a whisper from a passing peer, or a slanderous word from a parent all become wounds in the hearts of adolescent children that are difficult to heal and let go. Professor Li Meijin said: When facing adolescent children, the first thing is equality, and the second thing is consultation. Qian Wenzhong, a professor at Fudan University, had troubles with education for a while because his son was addicted to games and couldn\’t extricate himself. But instead of unplugging network cables, smashing computers, and beating and scolding children like most parents, he first put himself in his shoes and understood the game from his children\’s perspective. Then I looked for alternatives, looked up information everywhere, asked friends, and finally selected a game with rich historical themes for my son. Later, when my son played games, he became very interested in history and often discussed historical topics with him. Qian Wenzhong said: \”Since you have no way to prevent your child from quitting games, let him maximize his development and growth in areas that interest him. If the children are exposed to high-level games at the beginning, thenHis aesthetics has gradually reached a high level, and he no longer cares about bad games. \”Qian Wenzhong\’s method of teaching his children is a reminder to all parents of junior high school students: when faced with children who are awakening to self-awareness, parents must learn to respect their children\’s individuality and \”make the best use of the situation,\” that is, follow the development trend of things and guide them in a favorable direction. .Children at this stage have all stood confused at the crossroads of adolescence. Turning left leads to an abyss, turning right leads to a broad road. How parents get along with their adolescent children determines which path they take. As psychology expert Hu Shenzhi said Said: “The best education must occur on the basis of respect in relationships. \”In front of them, every respect from parents is extremely precious, because it is the golden key to open the blocked heart of adolescent children. Truly wise parents make good use of these two tips for educating their children: 1. Chat more: Part 1 Children who can still talk to their parents after junior high school generally have a happy family atmosphere, which benefits from equal dialogue between parents and children. Therefore, discuss everything with your children, solicit their opinions and ideas, and encourage children to express their true thoughts. . 2. Observe emotions: Children at this stage have unbalanced brain development and immature impulse control abilities, causing them to be emotionally unstable and prone to impulsivity. This requires parents to leave enough face for their children when they go out, and not to beat or scold them in public. In daily education, there is no need to belittle children with words. As the first person responsible for children, you should also pay attention to the dynamic changes in children\’s emotions in a timely manner. When children often talk about \”I am so stupid\” and \”I don\’t deserve to live\”, once you find that the child has Abnormal behavior requires timely intervention to ease emotions. 03 High school students know how to let go: allow children to bloom their own flowers. Yin Jianli wrote in the book \”The Most Beautiful Education is the Simplest\”: \”The first task of parents is to be close to their children. Care for its growth; the second task is to separate from the child and promote its independence. If the order is reversed, you are doing something unnatural, which will not only make the child\’s childhood barren, but also suffocate the child\’s growth and life. \”The strict control of parents not only makes children feel suffocated, but also hurts themselves. Senior Yu Yang in the popular drama \”The Young Man Who Sings the Dragon\” some time ago made countless netizens feel distressed: His mother never cared about her child\’s mental health. She constantly forcibly instilled her expectations into Yu Yang, almost forcing him to study hard. Yu Yang\’s mother, who revolved around her son, chose to work in the cafeteria of her son\’s school. When she saw her son queuing, she would yell at him to jump to the front. Even in high school, Yu Yang’s mother would rush into the dormitory to take off her son’s pants and wipe his body. A series of actions by her mother made her son feel inferior to the bottom. He couldn’t hold his head up in school, dared not communicate with others, and he stuttered. She always kept saying \”Mom said, mom said…\” and even kept silent about it when she was bullied by her classmates. In fact, her spirit was on the verge of collapse. Later, the class teacher Lao Lei, played by Zhang Ruoyun, made innuendo many times. He persuaded Yu Yang\’s mother, hoping that she would not always control her child anxiously. At the same time, the history teacher\’s teaching in accordance with his aptitude inspired Yu Yang. After his self-confidence and grades improved, he learned to firm up his own ideas and cut off the puppets in his mother\’s hands.Ti Xian became an individual with independent thoughts. From the day a child is born, the cut umbilical cord indicates that parents and children will eventually be separated. The leech-like morbid symbiosis is not conducive to the growth of the child. As a parent, please always remember: caring does not mean doting, and caring does not mean interference; discipline does not mean control, and restraint does not mean control; guidance does not mean restraint, and guidance does not mean coercion; encouragement does not mean pressure, and encouragement does not mean coercion. I am reminded of an interesting conversation written by self-media author @illustrator Yueyaya: The earthworm said: \”I loosen the soil for you every day, will you bloom for me?\” The flower did not answer. The little elephant said: \”I will water you, can you bloom for me?\” The flower still did not answer. Xiaowo said: \”I came from a very far away place just to see you bloom. Can you bloom for me?\” Hua Suifeng shook her head. On a sunny day, the flowers bloomed. In real life, too many parents are like earthworms, elephants and snails, trying to kidnap their children with their devotion to them, only to live out their own expectations for their children. However, overthrowing efforts will not only not help, but will be counterproductive. Children can be roses, tulips, rapeseed flowers, sunflowers, grasses, or cactus. They don’t have to live up to other plants for their parents’ wishes, they just need to choose the right season to bloom for themselves. Being a parent is a practice. In the new year, all parents are asked to do these two things: 1. Slow down: The root cause of parents’ anxiety lies in their own insufficient energy and unstable core. When I hear at the dinner table that a relative’s child got 100 points in the test, I will blame my own son for not living up to expectations when he thinks of his son who got 98 points in the test. On the elevator, he meets a neighbor who sends his child to an interest class. When he thinks that his son is not good at piano and violin, he will Worry about their children’s future. As a result, the thread that controls the child becomes tighter and tighter, and the anxiety is transmitted to the child, causing the child to be unable to concentrate on learning. From today on, learn to slow down, plant flowers in your free time, meet up with old friends to make tea and talk, keep reading and writing, practice yoga, and cultivate your own interests and hobbies, so that you will not be watching your children 24 hours a day like a monitor. Children grow up like their parents. If you want your children to be outstanding, you must also keep learning and be brave enough to try new things. 2. Be lazy: Mom is not a nanny, and dad is not a bodyguard. Solving all life problems for the child in every detail will only feed a giant baby. Only when parents\’ hands are lazier can their children learn to stand upright; if their parents\’ mouths are lazier, can their children learn to manage themselves; if their parents\’ hearts are lazier can their children learn to move forward indomitably. The roots of plants still need to breathe. It is not irresponsible for parents to be lazy, but to allow their children to have the power and space to make independent choices, so that they can control their own future and take responsibility for their own lives. Please light up the likes at the end of the article, I hope all parents can understand: Only with companionship as the center and equal respect and appropriate letting go as the radius can the most beautiful circle be drawn on the map of education.