Dong Yuhui’s live broadcast went viral: When a child says, “I’m sorry, I didn’t do well in the exam,” how should we respond?

In the late-night live broadcast room, Dong Yuhui’s words went viral. He said that the problem of teenagers is essentially that parents treat their children as test tools instead of as \”people\”. Parents are responsible for earning money to support the family, and children are responsible for taking exams well and focusing on their studies without worrying about other things. He lamented: This is really a very scary point of view. In today\’s environment of nationwide education involution, many parents focus all their energy on learning, and even regard grades as the only criterion. The child did well in the exam and everyone was happy. If the child does not do well in the exam, there will be a storm. However, we have all overlooked a very important point. The underage children, when they have tried hard but failed to achieve the desired results, they need comfort and encouragement more than anyone else. \”Successful Intelligence\” says: Blindly instilling a utilitarian view of success in children will distort their personality and even their life. When children say, \”I\’m sorry, Mom, I didn\’t do well in the exam,\” they are not asking for help, but for help, mercy, and love. What we should give our children is a hug, a word of encouragement, and a comfort. This is the source of their confidence to walk in the world in the future. What are the children thinking behind their guilt? Some time ago, in Changzhou, Jiangsu, there was such a sad and heart-warming scene. It was past eleven o\’clock in the evening, and the bus driver, Master Min, was preparing to end his shift and go home when he saw a junior high school girl wiping tears alone on the platform. Out of concern, she stepped forward and asked, \”Why are you crying? Have you been wronged in any way?\” Unexpectedly, the girl cried \”Wow\”. She hurriedly took the girl on the bus, and after careful questioning, she learned that she was in the third grade of junior high school this year, and her grades had always been very good. This midterm exam, she did not do well in the midterm exam because of high psychological pressure, so she chose to run away from home to escape. . In the world of children, parents should be the closest people to them, able to give them courage and strength in times of difficulty, but now, they have become the people they are afraid of and desperately want to escape. They cannot face their parents\’ hopes of yesterday and disappointment of today. That love is too heavy, and their thin shoulders really cannot bear it. After a boy failed a test, he stood anxiously at the door waiting for his mother to come home. After his mother came in, he told her uneasily that he did not do well in the exam and apologized to her. The mother turned around and wanted to hug her son and comfort him. Unexpectedly, one of her son\’s actions made her almost cry. He actually took two cautious steps back. The mother asked herself in her heart: Do I have too high demands on my children? Why did the child behave like this? Why does he feel sorry for me? Home, which was originally warm, has now become the place where children want to escape most. Parents, who should have relied on the most, have now become the people they fear the most. This kind of education is a tragedy, and such children are destined to lose at the starting line. What we should be tolerant of is trying again after failure. Many parents understand that failure is a common occurrence in life. But when their children fail, they feel infinitely anxious and unable to face it calmly. But is failure really the end of the world? \”No, failure is not the end. There is also joy in failure!\” This sentence comes from the high-scoring documentary \”Childhood in a Foreign Land·Israel\”\”Chapter\”. When children have put in countless hard work and efforts and still fail to succeed, parents will say: \”I will help you, let\’s try harder, I think everyone needs to know how to deal with failure.\” The teacher will say: \”If If you fail to start a second business, investors will give you more because you have learned from the failure and the chance of making the same mistake is very low. We admire them for trying again and again. \”I have to say, Israel. Children are lucky. It is precisely because of their tolerant attitude towards failure that they can experience the colorfulness of life on the road of \”hard work-failure-hard work-fail again-ultimate success\”. Not only that, Israeli schools have also implemented an \”educational clown\” plan, allowing \”clowns\” with red noses to lead children to do some interesting things and bring a good mood to the children. The founder of Educational Clown says, Therapeutic clowning is an art form where when I fail, I allow myself to express all my thoughts and emotions. In many parents\’ dictionaries, \”failure\” is a word with a negative meaning, but in Hebrew, failure means \”infinitely close to success.\” Enjoy failure. In failure, you gain experience, courage, and more joy. As parents, the question we should seriously consider is: What kind of child do we want to raise? If it is just a child with excellent grades, if he does not do well in the exam, it is obviously a failure. But if what we want is a child with ideals, ambitions, and responsibility, we should tolerate failure and allow them to try again after failure. Every child deserves to be loved. So, what should we do when a child really does not do well in the exam and his grades are a mess? Hong Sung-ho\’s parents in the Korean documentary \”Bad Student\” set a good example for us. Cheng Hao is at the bottom of his class and is crazy about playing games. He spends his spare time playing games every day, and even plays them all day long on weekends. The mother’s idea is: If the child is forced to study, what will happen if the child commits suicide in the future? Compared with studying, what I can do to make my children happy and communicate with me seems to be more important. She put aside her obsession with grades and took her son to travel, dance, party, and do all the things he liked. What\’s even more rare is that she unconditionally supports her son\’s ideas. When Cheng Hao was a freshman in high school, he wanted to participate in a game competition. His mother said: OK, you will definitely win the championship. On the surface, it was encouragement, but in fact, what my mother was thinking was: try it once, and you will probably get tired of it. When the fire is raging, there is no way to put it out. In the end, Cheng Hao failed. He felt very guilty, but his mother was very happy: now it’s better, it’s been a failure and she has to give up the game. With the unconditional encouragement and support of his parents, Cheng Hao had no worries about studying. He thought, \”Let\’s give it a try. I have never studied much, so I will study well this time.\” With a relaxed attitude, Cheng Hao finally made a perfect counterattack and became the first in the school. He was eventually admitted to a prestigious university and received a scholarship. Talking about Cheng Hao\’s growth, her mother mentioned five \”trusts\” in a row: After the parents began to change, the child also showedMiracle. Trust, trust, trust again, trust again, trust again, this is what parents are! Our true love for our children must be unconditional. Even if their grades are very poor, even if they have many shortcomings, they are worthy of our deep love. Because they are our children and our blood flows in their bodies. I saw a letter written by a father on the Internet to his son who is a \”student\”: Son, you don\’t have to feel guilty. It is our choice to love you and help you study. Remember, no one or anything is more important than yourself. If grades are important to you, then get rid of distracting thoughts and concentrate on studying. If your parents are important to you, then don\’t worry, we can see your efforts and understand your fluctuations. Good parents are always able to discover the shining points of their children, and then become the ones sitting on the roadside applauding. Growing up together with our children is a rare fate. Some of them are tolerance and consideration, rather than guilt and self-blame. As parents, we must view the exam correctly, and solemnly tell our children: If you do not do well in the exam, what you should focus on is not your grades or your parents, but your wrong questions and your future.