\”I got 99 points in the test and was scolded by my mother for three hours\” was a hot search topic: Parents always look aloof.

Seeing a hot post makes people feel suffocated. The subject of the question is a tutor who is tutoring a sixth grade girl. That day, when the subject arrived at the girl\’s house, he unexpectedly saw the girl\’s mother angrily scolding the girl. Just because the girl scored 99 points on one test paper, she only ranked second in the class. The subject didn\’t know what to do for a moment. Even if the subject stood aside, the girl\’s mother did not give the girl any face. As far as the subject knows, the girl’s mother has been raising children since kindergarten, and the girl has ranked first in almost every exam since she was a child. The girl\’s task when she comes home every day is to study, and she has no other interesting activities. The goal set by the mother for the girl is to be admitted to Tsinghua University and Peking University. Because of intense study since childhood, the girl already has 400 degrees of myopia even though she is only in sixth grade. The scene in front of me made the subject feel very sorry for the girl. After all, the girl had already achieved very good results in the exam. After the post was exposed, many netizens expressed sympathy for the girl\’s experience. Dr. Lin Wencai, a famous psychotherapy master, said: \”The growth of a child is like the growth of a seed. It needs sunlight, water and other nutrients. It not only needs material nutrition to ensure basic vitality, but also needs to be unconditionally accepted, valued and affirmed. Praise and recognition. \”Unfortunately, I don\’t know when, there are too many parents who always impose their own wishes on their children and completely ignore their feelings. It’s hard to imagine what kind of impact such condescending parents will have on girls in the long run. 2 saw a post \”Two sentences made my dad withdraw from his family\’s small group\”. The subject’s father reposts those so-called “principles” in the family group almost every day. There are short articles about \”Eight Sentences Girls Must Learn\” and \”Energy of Parenting\”. Every time I glanced at some of the content, the subject couldn\’t bear the views that his father wanted to convey to him. Until one day, the subject came up with a way to defeat magic with magic. The subject used the same method and forwarded some short articles to the group, hoping to let his father know his views. As a result, the father\’s reaction was completely beyond the subject\’s expectations. The subject\’s father first accused him angrily: \”You can do whatever you want, and you don\’t have to play word games. We are all adults.\” After reading his father\’s message, the subject explained: \”You share What you think is right and well said, I will also share what I see and agree with. Isn’t the purpose of family groups to share?” Unexpectedly, my father directly dropped the sentence, “You can plan your own path in the future.” \”, and then exited the group chat. It has to be said that too many parents always try to use their three views to guide their children\’s life. But looking at the facts, how many parents from ordinary families can make effective life plans for their children? In this way, parents\’ forced output and parents\’ condescension are not only useless to the children, but also destroy the family relationship between them. 3Debater Zhan Qingyun was not what people thought of as a \”good boy\” or \”good student\” since he was a child. On the contrary, from elementary school to junior high school, her grades were always at the bottom. In addition to her unsatisfactory academic performance, she often violated school disciplines. Even her parents were severely criticized by teachers several times because of her. MoreWhat\’s more, she is addicted to playing games and is obsessed with martial arts novels to the point where she doesn\’t eat or sleep. The teacher\’s evaluation of her was also unanimously negative. Some teachers said she was a \”stupid pig\”; some teachers said she had a \”horse\’s tail wearing tofu and can\’t lift it up\”; some teachers even told her mother in front of her: \”This child will not even be able to pass the high school entrance examination.\” Yes, send her to a technical school as soon as possible.\” But despite this, Zhan Qingyun\’s parents always chose to respect her and treat her equally. They also gave Zhan Qingyun their trust and encouragement. Whenever Zhan Qingyun is worried about her grades, her mother always laughs and pats her chest and tells her: \”Don\’t worry, mom can figure it out. Mom has done the math, and you will be able to do it by the fourth grade.\” You have become a \’good student\’.\” In the fourth grade, Zhan Qingyun\’s academic performance still showed no improvement, and her mother encouraged her as always: \”Don\’t worry, mom has calculated it again, and the time for you to become a \’good student\’ is now. In the second year of junior high school!” It wasn’t until the first year of high school that my mother’s prediction began to come true. Everyone may know the following story. Zhan Qingyun can be said to be a top student at Harvard University. Recalling his childhood, Zhan Qingyun is very lucky to have a mother who respects him, does not scold him, and always believes in him. This may be the most beautiful form of education. Soviet educator Suhomlinsky said: \”The whole secret of education lies in how to love children.\” Throw away the superior authority of parents, try to understand children, get into children, and believe in children, then the child\’s life will change because of Change as you change.