If a mother is smart, she will probably have an \”amazing\” ability

I was squeezing into the subway at noon today, and the scene that happened in the carriage left me with mixed emotions. Passing by a stop, a mother and daughter came up. The girl was about eight or nine years old, with her head lowered and timidly clinging to her mother\’s side. As for her mother, she was like setting off firecrackers from the moment she got in the car, and kept saying to her child: I set an alarm for you at noon and called you twice, but you didn’t even want to get up. This afternoon’s piano competition, Do you still want to participate? Look at what time it is now. Can you keep up? The little girl had tears in her eyes as she tried to explain. But this mother’s eyes were sharp, and she became more and more enthusiastic as she spoke: Last month when we went out to play, you worked hard and almost missed the high-speed train in the end. Why don’t you make people worry-free every time, do things more quickly, and have a sense of time? ,is that really so difficult? Listening to the mother\’s yelling and education, the child\’s cute face was squeezed into a ball, and he looked nervously and nervously out of the car window. The originally silent atmosphere in the carriage now seemed harsh and unbearable. Many people frowned slightly, but I felt extremely suffocated and depressed. I think of something someone said: A child’s education depends on the mother’s attitude and perception of life. Yes, if a child makes a mistake, it is understandable for parents to point it out and help them correct it. But the problem is that if you keep holding on to the \”old things\” of the past, it will become a sharp knife that stabs your child\’s heart all the time. Especially in the past few years, I have seen too many parent-child problems, and I have come to realize one thing more and more: if a mother is smart, then she must have an \”amazing\” ability, which is to \”understand Turn the page.\” 01How important is it for children that parents know how to read stories? I saw a sentence on the Internet: The most cruel way for parents to educate is to punish their children over and over again for their past mistakes. I deeply agree. Just like a friend of mine, a girl with very severe \”obsessive-compulsive disorder\”. For example, after walking for several hundred meters, I suddenly turn back to see if my door is locked. For example, if you turn off the gas after cooking, you still check it every three to five minutes. One time I couldn\’t hold it back any longer, so I asked her if your \”obsessive-compulsive disorder\” was too serious. I felt like it was affecting your normal life. As a result, she explained that this may not be obsessive-compulsive disorder, but rather being \”scared\” by her mother when she was a child. It turns out that when she was a child, she was often careless in doing things and made a lot of mistakes. And her mother was merciless every time, and she especially liked to \”bring up old things again,\” yelling and criticizing her at the top of her lungs. The more times she did it, the more frightened she became. So no matter what she did later, she would check it several times to make sure nothing went wrong. However, her long-term upbringing environment has also made her less and less confident, making her feel inferior, sensitive, and afraid to interact with others. She was afraid that if she did something wrong, she would be severely scolded just like her mother treated her when she was a child. Because of this, until now, even though she is an older girl, she still has no plans to find a partner. Therefore, parents who do not understand \”turn the page\” will make their children always live in a kind of fear, and even this fear will accompany them.born. Just think about it, when you may be criticized for making mistakes no matter what you do, there are two best solutions: first, do nothing. Secondly, after doing it, under the strong fear, I fell into self-doubt and repeated checks. But no matter which one it is, it is actually a form of externalized psychological stress, which is harmful to the growth of children but not beneficial. On the other hand, those parents who have the ability to \”turn the page\” can raise children who can be calm and optimistic no matter what environment they are in. They will not deny their excellent selves because of a poor performance, nor will they dare not challenge easily because of fear of the unknown. Such children often have stronger life abilities and happiness abilities. They are positive and optimistic and have good expectations for the future. So, a mother who knows how to turn things around is really amazing. So for parents, what are the things that we must learn to read? Let’s find out together next. 02. A mother must know how to change the past in 3 things. Someone once said: The best family tradition is to discuss big things, forgive small things, don’t argue about right or wrong, and don’t settle old scores. Yes, if you want to raise a promising child, then as the mother who spends the longest time with your child, you must learn to turn the page. Especially the following 3 things, let’s learn about them together. ①The child’s failure needs to be rewritten. I have seen a video like this before. There was a little boy who would angrily tear up the page every time he wrote something that didn\’t look good. One time, her mother was watching him, and one word he wrote was a bit distorted, so she subconsciously tore off the page. When the mother saw this scene, she became furious and began to scold the child: \”You can\’t write well, is it useful to tear up the paper?\” As she talked, the mother began to detail her child’s past mistakes. The child lowered his head, holding the torn paper in his hand, and his eyes were red and distressing. In fact, no child is born to do one thing perfectly, and failure is inevitable. Only when parents learn to forgive can they provide their children with a steady stream of motivation to move forward. Just like what is said in \”Positive Discipline\”: By allowing children to experience failure, they can learn to solve problems on their own when they arise. Therefore, as a mother, you should be more tolerant and patient, let your children go through failure, and wait for the day when they turn into cocoons and become butterflies. ② Children\’s mistakes need to be corrected. As parents, we are always used to bringing out the previous mistakes when our children make mistakes, and \”collaborating\” with the current mistakes to correct the children. But in fact, when we turn on the \”error correction mode\” of \”removing old scores\”, not only the current mistakes cannot be solved well, but even the previous mistakes will make the children embarrassed. Just think about it, if you do something wrong, you will be punished and yelled at. Then when your child does the same thing, he will feel extremely strong pressure deep in his heart. This kind of pressure and tension will cause children to make mistakes one after another. On the contrary, if a child does the same thing calmly and leisurely, even if he has stumbled on this matter before, as long as his heart is calm and not disturbed by the outside world, then the chance of making another mistake is often very small.It will be very high. This is just like helping children with their homework. Sometimes the more they yell and scold, the more their minds go blank. When we calm down and no longer pay attention to the children, they will answer the questions correctly. Therefore, smart mothers often know how to turn the page when their children make mistakes, because one mistake does not mean anything, it is just an episode in growth. ③Children’s achievements, please read a story on the Internet before reading the article. The writer of the story was a girl. She said that when she was a child, she was very good. She ranked first in every exam and her certificates were almost all over the wall at home. Because of this, her mother often shows off her everywhere, especially after her results are released, her mother makes noises all over the world. And she was used to living under flowers and applause. But after entering junior high school, the pressure to study became more intense, and there began to be more and more outstanding people around me. Since then, she has never taken the first place in the exam. Because her grades have declined, her mother has become more strict with her, and she has signed up for one tutoring class after another. And she herself became less and less interested and motivated in learning after her previous \”sense of superiority\” disappeared. Once this happens, it\’s like falling into a vicious cycle, slowly getting worse. After the final college entrance examination, she failed to get into even one of the three colleges. Now she is working as an apprentice in a barber shop, which is very disappointing. In fact, each of our lives is divided into several stages, so as a parent, you cannot start showing off just because your child has just achieved some small achievements. After all, life is still very long. Rather than being complacent in temporary achievements, teaching children to be humble and low-key by setting an example may one day truly amaze everyone. Therefore, in many cases, knowing how to turn over the past can cultivate an excellent child better than being immersed in \”old things\”. This is like a summer cicada shedding its shell. Every time it sheds its shell, it will be reborn. Finally, I hope that every mother will have the ability to change stories and a good attitude when accompanying her children to grow up. Please believe that children\’s growth also follows certain rules. As long as we care for them carefully and grow with love, they will become what we expect.