How to tell if a child lacks love? You will know by comparing these aspects

While browsing videos online, I saw such a touching scene. A girl, who looked about 8 or 9 years old, was struggling to help her mother drag a food cart selling snacks from home. Because there were too many things in the car, the girl resorted to She tried all her strength to grab the dining cart and looked at the huge thing. The girl still didn\’t give up. Pushing from behind didn\’t work, so she went straight to the front and pulled with her hands. But while she was trying hard, an accident happened, and the dining cart suddenly rolled over from the side. , the things on the dining car were also scattered all over the floor. With a few \”clang\” sounds, the mother in the house quickly ran out to check the situation and then looked at the messy scene on the floor. The mother calmed down for a few seconds, and then hurriedly hugged the frightened mother. The deceased daughter comforted her and said, \”It\’s okay, it\’s okay.\” The girl also kept saying \”I\’m sorry\” to her mother. Although her mother was sad, she also knew that her child was kind-hearted to help. The whole video of comforting her daughter in a revealing way only lasts for a few dozen seconds, but it fully embodies the emotional value needed in a period of family education. As a netizen in the comment area pointed out pointedly: \”This is a loving family. If it were my mother who was involved in this matter, her first reaction would be to ridicule and criticize her, and she would even chase her around the hospital and yell at me to pay her money.\” From this, we can see that the lack of love and lack of love since childhood are Children who lack love will have a completely different mental state when they grow up. So how to judge whether a child lacks love? It’s very simple. Just go home and compare the following aspects to know: 01 In terms of self-confidence, a child who grows up in an environment lacking love will have a very obvious manifestation, that is, low self-esteem, cowardice, and no sense of power. My friend lost her mother when she was young, and her father worked outside all year round because no one wanted to take on her burden. It was basically like playing football. She would go to whoever had time to live with her. At first, her grandparents lived with her, and then when her grandparents got old, they took care of her. When I stopped moving, I switched back and forth between my uncle, uncle, and aunt\’s house. But these homes all had their original \”little masters\”, and they didn\’t like my friend as an outsider. Some deliberately caused trouble to make the friend take the blame, and some simply disliked and ostracized her. When she arrived, she also said directly: \”Why are you always at my house?\” This made her friend who was already dependent on others even more frightened and uneasy. All she could do was to do as much as possible and talk as little as possible. In such a living environment, her She has an extremely sensitive personality and low self-esteem. She always looks at people\’s faces when doing anything. If she is happy and smiling, she will feel better inside. If she is unhappy at all, she will blame herself. Even though some things have nothing to do with her, she is used to it. I want sex on myself, and it seems that anyone can get love, but she is the only one who doesn’t deserve it. Seeing that she has such painful knowledge, I often explain it and give her different forms of care, but I find that no matter how hard I try, the problems formed in childhood are The inner shadow takes a lifetime to make up for and repair. 02 In terms of independence, I never like to trouble others. If you are always loved, who doesn’t want to be a little princess held in the palm of your hand? If you don’t have the confidence to be lifted up, who will be independent? When I am the only one left in the world, I went to the market to buy vegetables a few days ago. I met a little girl buying watermelons. She was small in stature.I bought 4 large watermelons at once, and before I walked a few steps, I saw my hands were being strangled and turned red. Seeing that scene, I quickly stepped forward to help her carry one or two watermelons, but the girl was too polite and kept holding on. She said: \”No, no need.\” The watermelon I had already carried was also taken away. To be honest, it was quite embarrassing at that time. But when I saw her stubbornly walking a dozen steps and then putting down her hand to rest, I finally I couldn\’t bear it, so I called a motorcycle. The driver took the money and waited for the girl. The girl still stubbornly refused to get on the bus. Finally, the driver was really speechless and started to complain to the girl: \” Why are you such a stubborn girl? It’s a great thing to have someone pay your fare, but you’re still not happy. Anyway, I’ve already collected the money. Do you want to go or not?” The girl wanted to say something else, and looked at her hand again. She decided to take a car to go home, but when she left, she specially left a watermelon for me as a thank you. I told her \”don\’t be so polite\”, but the girl told her: \”I don\’t want to owe anyone a favor, and I don\’t want to trouble others.\” See Looking at the back of the little girl, I admire and feel sorry for her independence, but I also feel sorry for her loneliness and helplessness when she is independent. Although she does not want to trouble others, nor does she want others to trouble herself, she has an independent and self-reliant personality. But under the same sky, if a person is so paranoid and independent, how tired and lonely it must be. 03 Emotionally, I don’t believe it either myself or others. I have seen such remarks on the Internet: \”Never talk to your original family. Bad people won\’t be able to hold on to their feelings at all, and in the end they\’ll leave themselves scarred.\” To be honest, the reason why people from bad families are difficult to get along with is not because they have problems with themselves, but because of the shadow of their childhood. The hurt makes them lack inner security, so much so that they don\’t believe in themselves or the new girlfriend of someone else\’s cousin. She is a girl whose native family is not very good. Her parents have been quarreling and quarreling since she can remember. She even often scolded her father and scolded her together: \”Who are you? Who are you showing off your shameful face all day long?\” Her mother scolded her: \”Go away, I\’m annoyed when I see you being such a dragster.\” Later, in Growing up in an environment where she was scolded, she felt inferior and fearful. She would often get upset over small things. Her cousin knew that she lacked love and felt insecure since she was a child, and he usually took special care of her emotions. As long as the girl said something But recently, my cousin told me aggrievedly that he could no longer love her. The reason was that the girl wanted to drink milk tea, so my cousin ordered a cup of red bean flavor that she usually liked. Thinking of it, just because her cousin didn\’t ask more about \”What do you want to drink?\”, the girl became sensitive and suspicious. She shouted: \”You have no patience at all now. Why don\’t you ask me what I want to drink when ordering milk tea? Are you I\’m not in love anymore, are you annoying me, don\’t you want me anymore…\” As the accusations became louder and louder, I seemed to understand my cousin\’s helplessness, and felt sorry for the girl\’s fear and anxiety due to her lack of security. In fact, this is also a lack of emotion. When a person does not receive enough love as a child, he will easily become sensitive and suspicious when he grows up. He will not love himself or know how to love others, and he will often fall into trouble because of a small thing.Inner energy and depression. Therefore, when dealing with people who lack love, we need to be more patient and tolerant. Behind the lack of warmth is also the haze and hurt of the past. If we encounter this type of person who lacks love, we must also tell them clearly: Although there is no way to change the unfortunate memories of the past, in the future, as long as we look at life with a heart that loves others and loves ourselves, and believes that everything we see is beautiful, we can go straight into the hearts of those who lack love and make them feel unprecedented warmth and warmth. and a sense of security 04 Habitually please others socially. When talking about the topic of lack of love, a blogger summed it up sharply: \”People who lack love will always love others.\” I also met such a netizen who said that she lived a good life. I’m very tired. I’m already over 40 years old, and I still always try to please others. I’m always afraid that I’m not good enough and will be resented and disliked by others. After digging deeper, I discovered that netizens have been living with emotions since they were young. In a modern family, her mother, in particular, often beat or scolded her for trivial matters. When she was a child, she accidentally broke a bowl. She was scolded by her mother as a \”waste\”, and she continued to talk about it for several years because she had not been able to withstand the temptation when she was a child. She stole 5 yuan from her mother, and she is still labeled as a \”thief\”. She even brought this incident up against others. Afterwards, in order to make her mother less abusive, all she could do was obey and compromise. Listening to your mother and pleasing others has invisibly formed a lifestyle habit. The experience of netizens soon reminded me of another friend. His childhood experience was exactly the same as that of netizens. When I was a child, whenever my parents quarreled, my mother would vent her emotions on him. He was exposed to verbal violence since childhood, which also caused him to have extremely low self-esteem. In order to gain recognition, he went out of his way to please and satisfy others without any bottom line. When he was rejected for the first job search after graduating from college, in order to get an internship opportunity, he directly and humbly requested: \” I don’t need salary, just let me try.” The boss saw his sincerity and persistence, and finally decided to give him a chance. He is a friend with a pleaseable personality. When he first entered the workplace, he was ordered around by his colleagues and was called out after a while. Serving tea and pouring water, and then throwing in a pile of documents for photocopying. He didn\’t know how to say no when he was a child. When he grew up, he couldn\’t say no in his mouth. Especially after a long day of work, he still kept saying with a smile, \” Okay, okay.\” Seeing that my friend was so tired from work, I advised him: \”It\’s understandable that you want to establish a good interpersonal image in the company, but everyone has their own place to shine, and you can\’t. To satisfy everyone, you only need to do your job well and have a clear conscience. This is the reason why you try so hard to squeeze into the company. If you are only satisfied with serving tea and pouring water every day and trying to please others, then Will your boss ask you in the end: Why didn’t you choose the service industry in the first place? The workplace environment is like this, and the same goes for educating our children. Only by allowing children to be themselves first can they truly grow into towering trees. 05 In the inner world, it is especially easy for the weak to empathize. Such a sentence breaks the defense: \”People who lack love spend their whole life looking for love and longing for love, but in the end they are always let down so easily.\” In fact, whether a child lacks love can be determined by looking at the family of origin. If a child has never felt love since he was a child, what will he do when he grows up?How do you know what love is? When you are a child, your parents did not give you something. Even if you have something when you grow up, you will worry about gain and loss. When you are good to you, you can’t wait to take out your heart and give it to the other person. If there is a slight change, it will be consumed by yourself. I always think about it. \”Why am I not liked by others?\” There is always a sense of compassion and empathy. For example, every time I see stray cats, stray dogs, or people who have a common growth experience, I will always feel strong sympathy in my heart unconsciously. , I also want to use my own efforts to make the other person feel better, even if I suffer a little more, it doesn’t hurt. When I was in college many years ago, a roommate and I were on our way back to school when we met a junior high school student in school uniform, a little girl. , she was holding a sign asking for help on the roadside. What the sign probably meant was that she accidentally lost her wallet and bus card, and now she can’t go home. She begged kindhearted people to help her and give her some money to go home. How pitiful. It was a bridge, but the people walking around ignored me and my roommate. Seeing this, we quickly handed her the bus pass and only pocket money in our pockets. At that time, our sympathy overflowed and we shed tears. He said: \”Take it quickly and go home quickly.\” Looking at that moment, my roommate and I proudly thought that we had \”done a great thing.\” But as it turned out, before we had gone far, an old lady reminded us: \”Girl, you have been deceived.\” \”What kind of student are you? He just deliberately wore school uniforms to deceive others.\” \”I don\’t know what method I will use next time to deceive others.\” Sure enough, after a few days, My roommate and I passed the overpass again and saw that the girl had changed into a beggar\’s uniform and was carrying a baby on her back. The sign on the sign said, \”I haven\’t eaten with my sister for three days.\” Even though I knew it was a lie. , but my roommate and I still couldn\’t bear to see that kind of scene. At that time, we all said in unison: \”I can\’t help it, I feel so bad.\” When I asked the reason, I learned that my roommate, like me, grew up in a single-parent family and was left behind since childhood. Children have longed for love since childhood, so when they grow up, they cannot bear to see others not being loved. I remember teacher Luo Xiang once said in his speech that those who lack love since childhood and whose native families are not good, even if they are slow, they are already excellent. Well, it turns out that when others are working hard to grow up, those who lack love are trapped in the internal strife of their original family. When other people\’s families and careers are booming, those who lack love are still spending their lives to heal themselves. So, love your children and let them grow up with confidence. , is the best gift parents give to their children, loving themselves is also the child’s salvation for themselves ~