It\’s easy to make a baby have a permanent low self-esteem. Just criticize him at these times.

After having a child, have you ever criticized your child regardless of time or occasion? For example, if your child is picky about food, you criticize and teach him while eating; if he is dishonest before going to bed, you start criticizing him while standing next to the bed; if he has a desire to express himself, you think he is not helping; if he says or does the wrong thing, you should punish him. Everyone scolded her… A recent incident made C\’s mother suddenly realize: Sometimes, our habitual and unconscious behaviors can inadvertently hurt the child\’s self-esteem and self-confidence… Last weekend, I took DD to play in the sand in the park. A 2-year-old boy next to me was so excited that he shoveled the sand too much and accidentally threw the sand on us. At this time, the boy was a little confused and looked up at his mother. The mother quickly showed an embarrassed expression to us, and then in front of so many children and parents around her, she lowered her head and reprimanded the child: \”What\’s the matter with you? I told you to be careful, but you just don\’t listen!\” Apologize to the aunt and children quickly! Then he turned to us and said, \”The child is too naughty and not obedient at all.\” Seeing the aggrieved and ashamed expression on the child\’s face, I quickly smoothed things over and said, \”It\’s inevitable for children. It\’s not a big deal, let alone him. To be honest, what this mother did made me feel a lot: there is nothing wrong with disciplining children and setting rules. However, children are also very nervous at this time. In front of everyone, his self-esteem will also be frustrated. It also made me think that many inappropriate accusations not only fail to serve as a discipline, but may also affect the physical and mental development of the child. Remember the following times and try not to criticize your children! 1. When eating, parents most often criticize their children. why? At a young age, the problem of bad dining habits definitely occupies a prominent position. Throwing food around, being picky about food, procrastinating, not feeding or opening his mouth… The more I want him to eat well, the more he can\’t help but \”babble\” a few words. Two days ago, Mother C went out to eat, and she happened to encounter something like this. The mother at the next table was eating alone with her baby. Not even 10 minutes after the meal was served, she could only hear: \”Stop pooping, are you still eating?\” What\’s wrong with me?\” \”Why are you so disobedient if you don\’t eat it?\” \”If you throw it away, stop eating it!\” \”Okay! Are they all high-frequency words on your dining table? Look at the child again. After that, the child stopped pooping randomly, but he didn\’t eat a few mouthfuls. The whole baby was a little wilted, and he looked unhappy to the naked eye. The atmosphere of eating should be relaxed; having a good meal is undoubtedly a happy thing. For many children, they don’t see their mother all day long at work, and mealtime is even a rare time of reunion during the day. But if you always criticize and criticize your children at this time, the good atmosphere will be gone, the good mood will be gone, and the good appetite will also be gone? Not only will it affect the immediate appetite, but if it goes on for a long time, the child may associate eating with being scolded, and the child may even become afraid to eat at the table for fear that his parents will be dissatisfied with him. This is not conducive to the formation of good habits, and in the long run, it will affect the growth and development of children. 2. Apply on baby’s entire lower body before going to bed.At this age, the topic of \”sleeping\” is almost unavoidable. Because they have too many problems. For example: children always put off washing before going to bed, or refuse to sleep with their eyes open… Various problems are difficult to prevent. The \”sleep tips\” collected by mothers have been updated several times, but they still can\’t control the situation in front of them. Little baby. My patience wears away little by little, and sometimes I can\’t help but shout, \”Shut up! If you don\’t sleep, I\’ll beat you up!\” Sometimes the words are so intense that the child even has to cry. To be honest, Mom C has also been worried about the issue of coaxing her to sleep (oh, let’s not mention it~). However, no matter what, there is always a tight string in my mind: I can’t yell when I’m calm~ because we often Ignore that before going to bed, children will be more emotionally sensitive. At this time, his psychology and consciousness are relatively fragile. We may not have enough willpower and psychological preparation to resist some of the negative effects of our criticism. Moreover, after being yelled at, the child becomes nervous and insecure. I was already scared when I wasn\’t sleeping. Wouldn\’t it make me even more scared if I closed my eyes and faced the darkness? The process of falling asleep is even more difficult. Moreover, studies have shown that children who fall asleep with negative emotions are more likely to have restless sleep, wake up at night, and have nightmares. Because of this bad sleep experience, children will become more resistant to sleep, further leading to lack of sleep and damaging brain development. Criticisms and accusations will not help. If you really want your baby to have a good night\’s sleep, saying \”good night\” and a hug are more practical. 3. Have you ever experienced such a scene when you have a desire to express yourself? The baby wants to help you wash the towel, but the towel is not washed clean, and he gets wet all over himself; he helps you choose a vegetable, but the good vegetable leaves are thrown into the trash can, leaving all the unwanted ones… If you see What will you do if you arrive? I think some mothers will say, \”Look at you, what did you do?! It\’s not helpful!\” However, the abilities of young babies are very limited. They can use their own initiative and practice skills. It is already a very fulfilling thing. At this time, what I need most is your encouragement, not \”throwing cold water\” on me. C’s mother had seen a variety show before. A little boy who was outstanding in every aspect, always flinched when asked his name and invited to perform on the show. The reason actually lies in the mother\’s educational philosophy. She is worried that if she always encourages and praises her children, the children will become more awkward. But what she didn\’t realize was that it was difficult to build a child\’s self-confidence, but it was easy to make him feel inferior. That is, when children want to express themselves, they do not encourage or even criticize them. This alone is enough~ Children need to be affirmed, especially when they are expressive and most eager to get a clear sense of recognition from their parents. I know that everyone has the mentality of \”hoping for their children to become dragons and girls to become phoenixes\” and always expect their children to become better, but this inadvertently puts pressure on the children, and also creates a huge psychological gap for the children. A word of encouragement is not that difficult to say. Even if the expectations are too high, the children\’s staged gains still need to be paid attention to.He deserves our unabashed praise. \”You are already great!\” In just six words, this sentence is very simple, but it is really important to children. 4 In front of everyone, I have to say that being criticized in public should be the childhood shadow of all children. Children also have self-esteem. Being criticized in front of everyone will amplify negative emotions infinitely. Mother C often sees topics like this on the Internet: What is it like to be criticized in public by your parents? Some of the children\’s answers in the video really touched my heart. For example: When I went back to my grandpa’s house for dinner during the Chinese New Year, my mother and others said that my “scores were not good and I didn’t know how to pass the exam.” I was so angry that I wanted to cry to them. Another example: I don’t want to be in a crowded place with my mother at all. She always says “bad things” about me to my face, which makes me very embarrassed. I told her, but what she got was \”Why are you such a glass-hearted kid? Mom just said a few words, what\’s the matter? I\’m just kidding.\” Parents of young children may feel that my family is still young and cannot speak fully, so what can they understand? No, the child understands. As mentioned in the article before, children are very sensitive to the outside world, and they can feel the attitudes of people around them. As parents, we may not think it\’s a big deal to criticize our children in public, but just treat it as a casual conversation piece. But the child will infinitely amplify the negative emotions at this time, feeling ashamed, hurting his self-esteem, and wanting to find a crack in the ground to crawl into. What\’s more serious for young babies is that their ability to vent such negative emotions is not enough. When they can only express it by crying, they may not get understanding from their parents. At that time, how uneasy they must be. Educator Suhomlinsky once said, \”Children\’s dignity is the most sensitive corner of the human mind. Protecting children\’s self-esteem is protecting children\’s potential power.\” I hope that every child can have this powerful potential power. It is true that it is our responsibility as parents to seriously correct our children when they make mistakes. But how to criticize and educate children correctly is an important matter worthy of our consideration. Mother C has also been looking for the right way to help her children recognize and correct their mistakes without hurting the parent-child relationship or damaging the children\’s self-esteem. Needless to say, don\’t be too quick to criticize. Because when children make mistakes, they will be at a loss. The first thing we need to do is: comfort and guide. If you really want to criticize, remember to pay attention to the occasion and time, and use the right method and method. You might as well try positive encouragement and education, maybe the effect will be better.