Children with \”pleasant personality\” are very tired, especially these 5 behaviors, and they often suffer from being dumb.

A pleaser personality is a style of acting that focuses on other people\’s opinions. You don\’t dare to do anything unpleasant in your dealings with others, as if others are not happy. Then these are your own faults. The neighbor\’s son Shitou is. I have such a flattering personality who likes to think wildly. Whenever I go out to play, if another child takes the toy in Shitou\’s hand, he will hand it to him without saying a word. I ask him: \”Don\’t you like the toy in your hand?\” Shitou said: \”I like it. I like it very much. Every time I go out, I have to take it with me.\” I asked him again: \”Then why do you want to let me out?\” Shitou then told me: \”If I don\’t let you out, , then they would take it away, and they might cry and fuss about me being a bully, and eventually the trouble would come to my mother, who would want the toys out, and her mother would criticize me for being stingy and not gentlemanly at all.\” Not only that, While his neighbors taught Shi Shi to be friendly and humble, he also spent time making various snacks for his children to take to school to share with their classmates. The most important thing is that those snacks were things that the neighbor\’s family would not bear to eat, and their family\’s conditions were not very wealthy. , my father earns money to support the family by himself outside, while my neighbor works as a full-time mother at home to take care of the children and go to school. Seeing my neighbors and Shitou like this, I feel very tired in my eyes. I have tried to persuade and remind them many times, but I always try to please them as a habit. It is difficult to get rid of it. Usually, it often suffers a lot of unspeakable mistakes. Especially the following 5 behaviors can tell whether the child has a \”pleasant personality\” that often suffers from mistakes. 01 Will not refuse others. My daughter has made a new friend. , she happily invited friends to her home. In order to give her friends a good guest experience, she got up early in the morning to clean the room, tidy up the study table, and even came to the door respectfully in advance and waited for me to remind her: \”I haven\’t done it yet.\” Come on, there will be a knock on the door. Then you can open the door, okay?\” My daughter didn\’t listen and insisted on waiting stubbornly at the door. At that time, I felt that she was really stubborn and didn\’t know how to adapt. Later, after waiting for almost half an hour, the friend came belatedly. My daughter didn’t say a word, but warmly welcomed her friend into the house. As for her friend, she also visited various places and saw Barbie dolls from the moment she entered the house. She said she wanted it, and her daughter generously gave it to her. It was a gift specially given by her father on her birthday. My sister had not borrowed it for a long time. When she saw a newly bought storybook on the study table, her daughter also said directly: \”I\’ll give it to you if you like it. Anyway, I still have a lot at home.\” Afterwards, the friend started Taobao mode directly and put whatever he liked into his arms. Within a few minutes, he filled a big bag and waited for his friend to eat it. After having enough drinks and playing, and carrying a lot of things home, I asked my daughter: \”Do you feel bad?\” My daughter replied: \”I feel bad.\” I asked her again: \”Then why do you allow others to ask for things from you?\” My daughter My nose felt sour, and then I told my heart: \”I\’m just afraid that she won\’t play with me anymore.\” At that moment, I held my daughter in my arms distressedly, and then told her: \”Child, we must understand that true friends appreciate each other. Yes, if your friend wants to break up with you just because he is not satisfied, then it is okay not to have such a friend. She is not a real friend.Treat each other heart to heart, and you are so sincere and kind to others, you definitely deserve to have better friends.\” From then on, my daughter learned to reject others and know how to say \”no\” to unfair treatment. Significant improvement 02 Children who dare not vent their emotions. Every time children vent their emotions, it is actually a good opportunity for them to improve themselves. If we do not allow children to have a temper and let them hold back their tears when they cry, then their emotions will not be available for a long time. When I went to a friend\’s house for dinner, I saw her 9-year-old son accidentally dropped the bowl and chopsticks. I was horrified and squatted down to pick up the leftovers. When I saw it, I immediately stopped and said: \”Stop picking it up, it\’s easy.\” If you cut your hand, just ask mom to clean it with a broom. How dangerous it is.\” Unexpectedly, my friend remained indifferent and directly criticized him: \”Leave him alone and let him clean up by himself. Even if his hand is cut, it will still be a long time.\” \”Memory\” \”This child is so irritable no matter what he does. He is already such a big man. If he is not properly disciplined, it will be even harder to survive outside this door.\” Looking at the boy again, tears of grievance almost fell, but his friend continued to scold him. Said: \”Don\’t cry, hold back your tears. It\’s obvious that you did something wrong, why do you still have the nerve to cry?\” Then, the boy stretched out his hand to wipe away his tears, then pursed his lips, trying to calm down his tears. I calmed down and looked at the child trying so hard to suppress his emotions. I couldn\’t help but start to worry. Sure enough, when I saw the boy again, he was playing ball with several classmates. Some of the children looked ill-intentioned, which was obviously my problem. , I had to direct the boy to pick up the ball while running errands. I was unhappy, and even hit the boy with the ball. Seeing that scene, I was so angry that I stepped forward and scolded those naughty children, but the naughty child actually hit me. Said: \”You are so nosy, my mother didn\’t say anything.\” Yes, the attitude of parents determines the attitude of others towards your child. If you are indifferent when your child is bullied, and even criticize your child for not being harmonious with others, then The result of children who dare not vent their emotions is that they will always act based on other people\’s faces. Even if they are very wronged, angry, or angry at the moment, they still have to smile when facing others and always think about others. If they are used to thinking about others, it will form a \”malignant common disease\” \”, that is, \”If you fail to consider others, you will feel deeply guilty, and you will be condemned and isolated.\” Therefore, the reason why children who dare not vent their emotions please others is to protect themselves from being hurt, and they don\’t want their children to be so concerned about gains and losses. , then children must be allowed to have their own temper, and children must be guided to vent their emotions and not keep them in their hearts for a long time. 03 Afraid of being disliked. A child who tries his best to please others just wants to be in front of others. I heard from my cousin that there is a female colleague in her workplace who is the company’s gold medal sales consultant. She is well-spoken outside and handles work matters in an orderly manner. But when she comes home, she has a headache when it comes to her daughter’s education. When asked about the reason, my cousin recalled that this female colleague was a single mother who raised her children single-handedly. In order for her daughter to be strict in her studies, she would often set high standards for her children. Unexpectedly, sheMy daughter was procrastinating and dilly-dallying at home, and had no energy to do anything. She had the whole image of a big slacker who couldn\’t stop shouting no matter how hard she yelled. For a long time, the mother thought that her daughter was just lazy. Unexpectedly, during a spring outing, she saw a different daughter. During the process of getting on the bus, getting off the bus, and then doing group activities, my daughter was so diligent and considerate. She would ask everyone if they needed motion sickness stickers, and would take the initiative to help others carry their suitcases, and even asked everyone to find more for her. Doing these things is a typical example of a flattering personality who wants to gain recognition and gain recognition. But my mother couldn’t understand it at all. She was so angry that she even felt like she had raised a white-eyed wolf. Regarding this kind of please personality that cares so much about other people’s feelings, The opinion given by the accompanying teacher is that this kind of children do not have enough inner security. To put it bluntly, they are not confident and long for recognition, so they are afraid of being disliked and worried about gains and losses. If you want the children to get rid of this kind of fatigue and pain, then in the end The simple way is to recognize and encourage children to be themselves openly and without fear of others. As the sense of self-experience becomes stronger and stronger, children can truly become better selves. 04 Children who like to insist on praise and please people , from an inner point of view, they are all very afraid of being looked down upon by others, especially children who have lived in an environment of suppression and criticism for a long time. They often care about how others evaluate themselves. I know a little girl with a pleasing personality. , she has a sweet mouth and a bit of a stubborn temper. You praise her for her beautiful voice, and she praises you for being as beautiful as a fairy. You praise her for being an excellent little girl. She also praises you for having good eyesight and being able to spot people accurately. But if you If you say something bad about her, she will hang around in front of you very persistently. Sometimes she will beat her back in a flattering way, and sometimes she will say nice things to make you happy. She will not leave happily until she hears a satisfactory praise from your mouth. What\’s this? It seems like they are obsessed with other people\’s praise, but in fact it is the inner emptiness of the child, who has not received sufficient recognition and support. If you want to help your child get out of the paranoia of a please-pleaser personality, the best way is to start from the bottom line, emotions, and more communication. We have done a good job in the three aspects of communication and the bottom line aspect: teach children to clearly distinguish between what is kindness and what is the bottom line. We can satisfy others, but it must be based on mutual help. If there is not even the most basic respect, then When it’s time to say no, you should be generous in saying no. Emotional aspects: When your children are in a bad mood, help them find an outlet to vent their emotions, such as throwing stones into the river, running and playing basketball, listening to music, going shopping… Communication: Many Understand your children’s true inner thoughts and tell them: No matter what time, your parents will always support you behind your back. In this way, your children will be able to face more difficulties and setbacks with a sufficient heart. 05 Hide dissatisfaction Once upon a time, I heard a saying that made me very enlightened: \”If a child is always silent and cautious in front of his family, then this is the biggest failure as a parent.\” This is really the case. I have a family and a junior high school. A relative who gave birth to his son, his son has been a good kid since he was a child. He doesn\’t fight or grab, and he takes care of himself when things happen. He never causes trouble for his parents. Many times, adultsThere were conflicts and quarrels between them, and the children comforted them. They all thought that they had saved the galaxy in their previous life, and they had gained such a warm man in this life. But in fact, the boy did not have a temper, but was suppressed in his heart. Without showing it, everyone could not feel his grief, indignation and pain. It was not until one time that the child was wrongly accused of stealing something by his classmates at school. He went home and hid in his room. He couldn\’t think of anything and chose to slit his wrists when he was discovered. Only then did the family understand that the child, who had always been sensible, was in his heart. The situation has been so hard, especially for the boy\’s parents, who work outside all year round and have higher expectations for their children. Thinking about the past few years, the conversations between them were not only \”how are you studying\” but also \”which classmates have you surpassed?\” Harsh parents can\’t help but burst into tears. Yes, everyone has emotions, and everyone also needs to vent their emotions and dissatisfaction. If we are unwilling to accept the shortcomings of our children from the beginning, then the long-term high load of stress will It will slowly crush the child. You don’t want your child to become a painful pleaser personality, and you don’t want your child to grow up with a burden and never be able to straighten your spine. Parents who are far-sighted must control their own eyes and don’t dwell on their children’s shortcomings. , you should also control your mouth and don’t say some harsh words that will make your children frustrated.