Schools never teach the three most important abilities for ordinary children to live in a mixed society in the future.

A few days ago, I read an interview in People magazine. It was about several Beijing mothers who, after their children entered junior high school, chose to send their children to study in Haidian, where the academic pressure is greater. They also became new Haidian mothers. . One of the children’s stories touched me quite a lot. There was a boy who was not selected as an English class representative after entering junior high school. Because he thought he was good at badminton, he went to participate in the selection of the badminton school team again. He went there with full confidence, but he was not selected. But he was not greatly affected by it. That day, this young man, who usually had to be careful about his meals every day, went to the school restaurant and ordered a glass of watermelon juice, saying, \”I have to treat myself.\” The boy\’s previous elementary school life was actually not that pleasant. He failed to make any good friends in six years. After arriving at junior high school, he experienced a big change. Not only did he quickly make close friends, but he also liked the current campus life. His mother said, \”I used to be such a sensitive child, but now I have found some ability to understand myself.\” Promoting from primary school to junior high school may be the first major environmental change that many children face. There will be many such changes in the future, and I think being able to learn to adapt to the environment and self-adjust as early as possible is as important as achieving good results. Like many mothers, I once had a question: What abilities should this generation of children most develop if they want to adapt to the future society? Seeing the changes that have taken place in this boy, I feel that the answer to this question has become much clearer. The ability to take care of oneself, the ability to make friends, good physical fitness, challenging spirit, etc… Where academic performance cannot have an impact, these \”social\” abilities can often really help them occupy a place in society in the future. But these abilities are not taught in most schools, so parents of our generation must really stand at a higher dimension to cultivate abilities that their children can use throughout their lives. Many schools don’t teach the three abilities that children most need to go into society. I once posted a video about “the three abilities that we should cultivate in our children.” It received a lot of likes and comments all over the Internet, and was later picked up. Many bloggers have copied it. These three abilities are actually the ability of children to \”get along with money, people, and themselves\” when they grow up. 1. The ability to get along with money and the ability to get along with money are essentially the ability to coexist with scarce social resources. There is a particularly popular financial and business book \”Puppy Money\”. The concepts and methods mentioned in it are actually about how we can use the money in our hands efficiently and rationally, so as to ultimately achieve the purpose of improving our lives and realizing our wishes. The cultivation of this ability must be learned as early as possible in life. I once saw on the Internet that many children still regret when they grow up because they did not have pocket money when they were children. This regret is not because I didn’t buy snacks and favorite toys, but because I didn’t have the opportunity to understand money as early as possible and learn to get along with money. Since Tutu was in third grade, I will give him some pocket money every month and put it in his WeChat relative card. I will also review the bills with him to see which money was spent on socializing and which money was spent on hobbies. just in daily lifeOnly through repeated practice and thinking can children understand money and finally know how to control it. 2. The ability to deal with people. Harvard University once conducted a study on happiness. After 86 years of continuous tracking, it was found that there is only one key indicator that can truly make us feel happy, which is having good interpersonal relationships. It gave me a new understanding of Tutu\’s ability to interact with people, including at work. Many times the bottlenecks we encounter or the opportunities we miss are not actually ability problems. Looking back at my experience after working, I realized that some of the opportunities I missed were because I was too young and didn’t know how to deal with people. So in terms of cultivating Tutu and Xiaoshu\’s ability to get along with people, I am currently doing two things. 1. Let children get along with older people more. Human maturity is related to social experience. I have always felt that if a 45-year-old person could give me some career advice when I was 25, I would have avoided a lot of detours. 2. Deal with more people with different experiences. If circumstances permit, I will bring Tutu or Xiaoshu to participate in my work, so that they can get in touch with more different people from an early age. I once went to Ningbo on a business trip, took a taxi, and chatted with the driver. The driver said that his son was recommended to Peking University to study quantum physics. He said that throughout his son\’s schooling process, he would trust people with higher knowledge than him to explore and guide his children\’s abilities in areas that he did not understand. Tutu was also with me at the time, and the driver kept encouraging Tutu. I knew that he probably received encouraging education at home. Although he is just an ordinary taxi driver, this father’s educational philosophy and attitude are actually worth learning from us ordinary parents. The same is true for children. If they go to elementary school, middle school, or high school, in addition to learning book knowledge, they have the opportunity to accumulate experience in getting along with others, and understand that everyone has something worth learning, then they will face complex situations in the future. The interpersonal environment will also show more ease. 3. The ability to love yourself. As I reach middle age, I increasingly find that the essence of loving myself is to accept everything about myself calmly, to see the bright spots, and to accept the shortcomings. Now, when Tutu and Xiaoshu encounter setbacks or failures, I will not reason with them. I will take them out to have fun. In addition to relaxing, I also want them to know that the bad experience or mood at the moment does not mean that we or our entire life are also bad or a failure. Even if sometimes there are things we don’t do well enough, we don’t have to deny everything about ourselves. Moreover, when a child can accept and understand themselves in this way, they will have more strength to deal with setbacks, big and small, in their future lives. It is actually not difficult to cultivate the three most important abilities. If we want to cultivate the three key abilities of children in a \”mixed society\”, we must also consciously let our children know that being a good person and doing things is as important as learning in life. I once saw a video saying that many people born in the 90s and 00s no longer care much about many social rules. For example, when clinking glasses with elders, the glasses can be lowered slightly; for example, when everyone eats together at work, what price should the meal be priced at?position, how to balance everyone\’s tastes, etc., there are things that need to be learned and paid attention to. Many children and even adults think that these are not important at all, but in fact, these scenes can exactly reflect whether a person is good at cooperating with others, good at overall planning, empathy, and even leadership. Many opportunities to stand out are hidden in places where a person\’s comprehensive abilities can be demonstrated. I would never tell Tutu, nor would I let him think that there is only one thing in life: learning. Now, I often take Tutu to participate in some activities to let him understand some rules of the adult world, and I also have a lot of adult conversations with him. Because children\’s ability to behave and do things is not something they suddenly possess after graduating from the college entrance examination or university. Instead, it needs to be acquired through observation, imitation, and practice in the experience and knowledge before the age of 18. Therefore, I often feel that parents are the best teachers for children’s social education. Let their children understand some social rules early so that they will not have too big a mental gap after entering college or work, and it will be easier for them to adapt to complex situations. working environment. I have always believed that children have always been a part of society, and we do not necessarily have to wait until they are 18 years old to teach them how to behave and how to survive in this society. There are countless opportunities in daily life to exercise children\’s ability to get along with money, people, and themselves. Children with these abilities are more likely to find a place for themselves after entering society. Even if they encounter difficulties for a short time, they will not fall into despair. Instead, they can accumulate experience in setbacks and continue to grow.