The sources of parents’ anger towards their children

Original text: Zaiyu was sleeping during the day. Confucius said: \”Rotten wood cannot be carved, and walls of dung cannot be leveled. How can I be punished?\” Confucius said: \”At first I was like a man, listening to his words and trusting his actions; now I am here People should listen to their words and observe their actions. \”A few days ago, I talked about the reasons why children quarrel with their parents, and it was nothing more than: children use their parents as a vent; children use quarrels with their parents as an expression of independence; and Children use quarrel with their parents as an expression of their opinions. As a parent, if you can manage your emotions well when your children are \”retaliating\”, you can try to analyze the root cause of the child\’s \”retaliation\” to you, and then deal with it according to different reasons. However, parents cannot always manage their emotions well. Some parents are even more emotional than their children. Many times, parents are full of anger towards their children, and this anger can sometimes be earth-shattering. So, where does the anger of parents towards their children come from? The fundamental reason is: parents do not have the ability to tell the truth. Imagine if you had tons of money, tons of power, and tons of kids. No matter what happens to one of the kids, you won\’t be angry. Your money and power can provide for his life, and countless children can provide for themselves. However, you do not have countless money, nor countless rights, nor countless children. If you do not have the ability to cover up for your child\’s mistakes, and you even hope or need your child to cover up for you to a certain extent, then you will become \”outraged\” when dealing with your child. A sentence I often hear is: \”If you don\’t study hard, what will you do when you grow up?!\” Yes, if the child has only one way to support himself when he grows up, and this road is now full of thorns, can parents Aren\’t you careful? If your family has more than a dozen houses to collect rent, and three factories are very profitable, will you be \”angry\” if your children don\’t learn well? Some mothers get extremely annoyed when giving tutoring lessons to their children. These angry people are probably those who have \’changed their destiny through studying\’, or people who feel that \’their fate has been bad because they did not study\’. In their understanding, \’reading\’ is the only way to change their destiny. Why change your destiny? Because they are dissatisfied with their current fate. Moreover, they themselves have no ability to change their own destiny, let alone the future of their children. At this time, once \”little\” appears in children, they will become very desperate and become angry. What happens after the rage? Is it to examine yourself? Or trying to adjust your child? Are you putting pressure on yourself? Or put pressure on children? Or just give up and lie down? What is the right thing to do? Let\’s see how Confucius did it. Confucius also had a \”bad student\” named \”Jaiyu\”. One day, Confucius was in class, and Zaiyu fell asleep. Confucius was very angry and threw the table: What use is there for a person like you? just you! Still want to be a manager? ! You can’t even get hot food if you ask for it! After the furious Confucius scolded me, he began to reflect on himself: In the past, when I interacted with others, I believed whatever they said. This kind of communication is the easiest. Now with Jaeyu, he talks sweetly and talks well, but he can\’t do it. What should I do with such a person? I need to make some adjustments, not only to listen to what he saysWell, it depends on how he does it. And adjust my guidance and teaching based on what he does. Yes, after getting angry, continue to suppress the child? Or ask yourself: If I don’t have the ability to provide for my child’s future, do I have the ability to assist him and work with him to provide for his future? What can I do about his current situation? Confucius\’ approach was to increase his workload and add another job to observe Jaeyu\’s behavior. And you? After the rage, how did you change your relationship with your children? Have you observed more about your children’s study habits, strengths and weaknesses? Or simply and rudely put pressure on the child? Or just give up the child? Most parents are indeed unable to guarantee their children\’s future, so we have to modify and adjust ourselves so that we can work with our children to work hard for their children\’s present to avoid the worst-case scenario.