Children who have been beaten since childhood and children who have never been beaten grow up to live two different lives.

A friend shared with me an incident from her childhood. After listening to it, I felt extremely sad. One time while eating, she happily shared interesting stories from school with her parents. After learning that his daughter did well in the exam, her father lovingly put a large piece of fish in her bowl. Before she could enjoy it, she heard her father ask: \”How did your good friend Lin Juan do in the exam?\” the friend thought. Without even thinking about it, she told her father: \”She has 5 points more than me.\” As soon as she finished speaking, her father suddenly kicked her: \”Why are you so useless that you can\’t even pass the exam?\” Faced with this sudden beating , she was at a loss and just stared at her father blankly, her mind going blank. A friend said that after so many years, she had long forgotten where her father kicked him and whether it hurt or not, but she still remembers her feelings of shame, shock and grievance at that time. After growing up, she found that she did not dare to make any mistakes and was afraid of making her colleagues and leaders dissatisfied. Because she is worried that if she does something wrong, she will be scolded or have unimaginable consequences. Moreover, she is very sensitive and fragile inside. Even an unconscious criticism from others will make her sad for a long time. Feeling like you’re not good enough, good enough, or satisfying enough. What are the differences between children who have been beaten since childhood and children who have not been beaten when they grow up? I live two lives. 1: Spanking children cannot solve the problem. Many parents who have spanked their children have this experience: once spanking starts, it will never end. Because it is difficult for you to spank once and make your child never make mistakes again and listen to you forever. Since hitting it once doesn\’t work, then you have to hit it a second time, a third time, and countless times. When a child is just starting out, he may still know shame and that it is wrong to make you angry and he must be a good child. But no matter what, it is natural for children to be naughty and make mistakes, and they cannot control themselves to always obey you. Then, I believe it won’t be long before he “comes back” and makes you angry again. After being beaten again and again, you will find that the child has become rough, indifferent, and indifferent. When he gets older, his temper will be even bigger than yours, and you won’t even be able to beat him. At this time, neither hitting nor scolding will work. You can only spread your hands and don\’t know what to do. 2: The way children learn from childhood is to imitate. We will find that behind those children who have a bad temper and like to hit others, there are basically parents who are equally bad-tempered and hit them. Because the child is influenced by his ears and eyes, the only way he learns from his parents to solve problems is to beat him. If one meal can\’t solve the problem, then have 2 meals. He didn’t know that when faced with a problem, there were other solutions. He didn\’t know what else to do if he encountered a problem besides fighting. Therefore, children who have been beaten since childhood are often more aggressive and lack the ability to think and solve problems from multiple perspectives. For children who have not been spanked since childhood, their parents will often tell them: \”This is wrong, what should you do?\” Then the child will know what I should avoid and take the initiative to do it if I encounter this kind of situation next time. What. Such children will have a more open mind when they grow up, have a gentler personality, and know better how to solve problems when they encounter them. Three: A member of the group of letting children bear the consequencesMommy, I posted a picture of a naughty child throwing clothes, sheets, shoes, socks, and quilts everywhere. There are clothes everywhere on the bed, on the cabinets, on the dressing table. She asked: \”Tell me, does this child want to be beaten?\” While everyone was watching the fun, they still gave her a trick. I personally agree with this method – let the child bear the consequences. The consequence we usually think of is to beat him up, and he just needs to be dealt with. But the consequences I’m talking about here are “bearing the logical consequences.” What he needs to bear is the consequences directly related to this matter. If he soils the ground, you punish him by not allowing him to eat, or you beat him. This has nothing to do with the fact that the ground is soiled. There is no causal logic in itself. The child threw his clothes all over the floor. What is the logical consequence? He just had to put the clothes back on and tidy up the room. What he has to bear are the consequences related to this matter. Then next time he is naughty, you don\’t have to worry about it, as long as he takes the corresponding responsibility and does things well again. In addition to saving worry, you can also gain a child with a strong sense of responsibility. Although it requires you to be more patient, isn\’t it better than getting angry and angry again and again? The reason why we get angry when our children make mistakes is because, many times, we bear the logical consequences for them. We are the ones who clean up the mess every time. Can we not be angry or hit others? Next time, let him bear the logical consequences~