Did you find it? Most mothers who live a \”very relaxed\” life around them have three excellent qualities.

At the weekend high school class reunion, old classmates who hadn’t seen each other for many years recalled the past and chatted about the present. What makes people sad is that after being away for half their lives, everyone has the same title, either dad or mom. The difference is that compared with when we were in school, we no longer talk about gossip, dreams, and studies, but focus on the daily necessities of life and our children. of course there are exceptions. For example, Xiaona, who is sitting next to me, looks \”out of place\” with the people around her. On the one hand, she seemed not to have been tainted by the cruelty of time, and her eyes were still clear and bright. More importantly, even though she has given birth to two children, her skin appearance and figure do not seem to have been affected much by this. She still looks as fresh and beautiful as she did when she was young. On the other hand, most people never leave their children, but Xiaona never leaves herself. For example, she will ask everyone if they have done any fitness exercises recently, if they have any recommendations for running shoes, and if there are any interesting attractions nearby… In short, Xiaona\’s state does not look like a person who has experienced the vicissitudes of the world and has been born. What a mother should look like after two children. Out of curiosity, I started chatting with Xiaona. As a result, I found that despite her ordinary life and average financial strength, she did not have the \”tightness\” that most adults have. In other words, she looks \”relaxed.\” She is neither worried about the hardships of life nor worried about her two children\’s studies and future. When it comes to marriage, her eyes are full of happiness. These are all very valuable. After the party, I returned home and couldn\’t let it go for a long time. Thinking back to some of the mothers around me, I suddenly discovered that those mothers who lived a very relaxed life seemed to have the same three excellent qualities as Xiaona. What are the three characteristics? Let’s find out together next. 01 The first characteristic: having a sense of relaxation in life. In psychology, anxiety or stress fall into the category of \”stress\”. Relaxation is an attitude or ability to deal with a series of stressful events. It is very close to \”mental toughness\” or \”resilience\” in psychology. Simply put, it means that when a person faces pressure, he can effectively cope and adapt, so that his emotions can reach a state of balance. And this \”relaxation\” I have seen in many mothers who live a very relaxed life. Just like Xiaona mentioned earlier. When chatting with her, she said that she has been busy with making a living and taking care of her children in the past few years, and she has no time to go out for a walk, relax and reward herself. When I first listened to it, I felt a little helpless and sad. But then she changed the topic and said smartly and playfully: This time I come to Xi\’an, I must have a good time. I heard that Xi\’an is full of treasures. I must wear clothes with pockets in case I find something valuable. , can be put in my bag, won’t it be possible to achieve financial freedom? To be honest, after hearing these words and seeing her dancing, my brain suddenly shut down. It seems like there is a kind of magic that can make people feel that life becomes brighter instantly. And this is actually, to put it bluntly, a sense of relaxation. In daily life, we can find that those who haveRelaxed mothers can often maintain a good mood and mentality no matter what bad things they face. And this kind of emotional stability is not only the best beauty agent, but also allows them to greatly relax their hearts and live a wonderful life to the greatest extent. 02The second trait: having an optimistic explanation style. What is an optimistic explanation style? The term was first coined by Seligman. It refers to how people attribute things that happen, especially bad things. The optimistic interpretation style means that even if you encounter some unhappy things, you will treat them with a positive and optimistic attitude. For example, Dong Yuhui was criticized for having \”small eyes\” during the live broadcast. But he replied: There are cracks in everything, and that\’s where the light gets in. This reply, in addition to showing high emotional intelligence, is also a typical value orientation of optimistic explanation style. In fact, this way of attributing what happened is essentially a positive attitude towards life. This kind of mentality can help us fight against many negative emotions and energies in life, so that our lives can run at a relatively stable rhythm. To put it simply, it means that you will not harm yourself or your family because of the external environment. Just like a video I saw online before. There was a little girl in fourth grade who bought \”naan\”, a famous snack in Xinjiang, on her way home. But when paying, I clicked on the wrong price and paid more than 30,000 yuan directly. If you were an ordinary parent, when you learned the news, you would be in a panic, and your children would inevitably be given a \”stick education\”. But the mother of this little girl gave us a textbook solution. She first contacted the shop that sold naan and learned that the clerk did not have the authority, so she immediately called the boss. Unexpectedly, the boss said that this incident caused trouble to the store, and he had to deduct a handling fee of 300 yuan, and asked the mother to come back in two hours. I thought that at this time, some parents may not be able to control their emotions and express all their frustration and resentment on their children. But the mother didn\’t. She first comforted her daughter, who was crying with snot and tears beside her, and told her that everyone makes mistakes and it\’s not a big deal. Immediately afterwards, she held the naan in her arms, not worrying about whether she could get the money back. Instead, when she got home, she told her children: Come, let\’s each have half of the golden cake. Your mother has grown so big, and she is also the first child. It’s a pleasure to eat such expensive naan at once, thanks to your help. After hearing what his mother said, the child, who had been wiping away tears just now, suddenly turned sunny from the heavy rain. He looked into his mother\’s eyes and laughed together. In fact, this mother embodies the trait of \”optimistic explanation style\”. In life, most mothers with this trait have the ability to easily resolve life stress. Even if they sometimes face some bad things, they can still have a good mentality and bring positive impetus to the operation of life. So, how can this kind of mother not be relaxed? 03 The third trait: Not paying too much attention to children. There is a hot topic on the Internet: Why do parents nowadays look raw?Tired of living? A highly praised answer below says this: In addition to financial pressure, middle-aged parents are often tired because they project too many expectations on their children. I deeply agree. For example, many of us parents have fallen into the trap of \”involution\” without any warning since pregnancy. When the children are older, they will be tested for their studies, grades, interests, appearance, emotional intelligence and IQ. In short, they must be able to win at the starting line. This is just the tip of the iceberg for parents raising children, but the amount of investment, energy, and time it takes is really unimaginable. I used to say that parents who raise children are like a smartphone with a long standby time that cannot be turned off or blacked out. They have to deal with various emergencies at any time. But in fact, the reason why raising a child has become so physically and mentally exhausting is because we have too high expectations for her. As shown in the original survey conducted by the psychological counselor Archie, the reason why some parents are getting more and more tired of educating their children and not easy at all is because of the following three reasons. First, I don’t want to accept my fate, so I desperately hope that my child can break through the class and make a leap in life. Second, expectations for children are too high, and they hope that children can be far ahead in all aspects from the moment they are born. Thirdly, if others are taking the exam and you don’t take the exam, it seems like you are irresponsible to your children, so you follow the exam. Induced by these problems, many parents will focus their lives on their children, and even say that they live for their children. Over time, fatigue and haggard will follow you. And those mothers who seem to live a very relaxed life tend to focus more on themselves and accompany their children as adults. The advantage of this is that as a mother, you can grow and develop well. Secondly, it can also set a good example for children, thereby subtly making children become better and better. Therefore, instead of focusing on your children with every detail, it is better to gain space for yourself and take root. Because when a child sees his mother managing her well, the child will feel infinite energy from her mother. Perhaps this is the best education for children. As for the role of a mother, not paying too much attention to her children may be a good medicine against the ruthless years and the ravages of life. When we reach middle age, have children, and are subject to the pressures of life, it seems that the word \”relaxation\” has nothing to do with us. However, life is already very tiring, so we should live a wonderful life to the greatest extent, so that we can be worthy of the expectation in our eyes. Everyone said that, right?