Your child has something to say and won’t tell you? This golden key to parent-child communication will help your children trust you again

Have you ever discovered a cruel reality: as your children grow older, they communicate with you less and less. Especially during adolescence, the communication between children and parents decreases significantly. When I was a child, the child who chattered all day long and shared everything with his parents became a child who was either silent, perfunctory, or dealt with things casually. why is that? Many parents will find that when they want to talk to their children about recent studies, moods, future plans, etc., their children always say \”I don\’t know\”, which makes them crazy. Why are adolescents so troublesome? Why do they have so little communication with their parents? This is actually closely related to their psychological development laws and characteristics. As children reach adolescence, one of their core tasks is to establish a self-identity. That is, they need to figure out who they are. In order to achieve this goal, they will be very eager to have their own rights and space, want to make their own decisions, and want to have their own voice and opinions. Only in this way can they form an understanding and impression of themselves. However, many parents have not changed their minds and still treat their adolescent children the same way they treat young children. They often preach, reason, criticize and guide them, trying to teach them more wisdom and principles in life. However, the child has completely stopped following this routine. For example, a child tells his parents: \”I feel very annoyed lately. The classmate at the back table always kicks my stool.\” Some parents will say: \”Just ignore him and listen to the class carefully.\” Or the child says: \”My good friend doesn\’t play with me anymore. He plays with another classmate. I\’m very sad.\” Some parents will say, \”Forget it if I don\’t play with you. Friends are not that important. Don\’t care too much.\” That\’s exactly it. This way of not understanding the child, not understanding the child\’s thoughts, and giving guidance and suggestions too eagerly makes the child feel that the parents do not understand him at all and do not know what he wants to express. Therefore, when children encounter difficulties, whether they are big or small, they are often unwilling to talk to their parents or seek help. The same goes for us adults. Suppose you have been very tired at work recently and want to complain to your boss: \”I have been working too much recently and I feel overwhelmed and very tired.\” If the boss says: \”Why are you tired? Young people must work hard to have a bright future. \”It\’s not easy to work now.\” If he responds to you like this, will you talk to him again next time? I\’m afraid not. As a parent, what should you do if you encounter this situation? If your child doesn\’t want to tell you something, this is essentially a problem of parent-child relationship. It means that there may be some problems in the relationship between parents and children. The relationship is not good enough and the child does not feel safe enough, so he talks less. There is actually a very simple way to deal with this situation. When your child talks or complains to you, just remember one principle and one sentence can solve most problems: complain with him. For example, a child says: \”A certain classmate is very annoying recently and always gives others nicknames.\” You can say: \”Yes, this person is so annoying. Why is no one criticizing him?\” The child says: \”I am too tired from studying recently. It’s very hard, and I don’t want to go to school anymore.” You can say: “Yes, you are so focused on your homework now.Having so much homework from morning to night is indeed very tiring. \”Is this kind of response more comfortable? Is it easier for the children to accept it? This sentence seems very simple, but in fact there is a lot of knowledge behind it. Complaining and complaining with your children is actually to stand with them. Together. This is called \”empathy\” in psychology. Empathy is to think what the other person thinks, feel what he feels, and see what he sees. In this way, you are on the same page. With the same stance, you can achieve a state of spiritual resonance and spiritual communication. In this way, will your child still be afraid of not telling you something? Empathy is a method that has a long history. It is one of the three major methods used in humanistic psychological consultation. One of the best tricks is also one of the most important methods used by counselors in psychological counseling. Parents can learn from this empathic method and don’t be too eager to teach them great principles or life experiences. When children reach adolescence, they already know many principles of right and wrong. What they need is not right and wrong and guidance, but understanding, catharsis and emotional release. In order to solve the problem of children not telling you something. For questions, remember this sentence: Complain with him and complain together. This is the maximum understanding. This method will definitely better promote the parent-child relationship.