What is family relaxation? This is the best answer I\’ve ever heard

Families with a sense of relaxation bring a positive attitude to their children. Relaxation is also a kind of wisdom in education. So what is family relaxation? The following sentence is the best answer I have ever heard: \”Relaxation means not caring about trivial matters. When my mother cooked, the vegetables became salty. My father said, \”I just want to eat steamed buns.\” There are no steamed buns in such a good dish. \”How can it be done?\” \”So, Dad quickly put on his clothes and went to buy steamed buns.\” \”If the child accidentally broke the cup, he would quickly comfort him and say: \”It\’s okay, as long as no one is injured, everything else is fine.\” Carefully Think about it, it is true that home is our safe haven, and home should also be a place that emphasizes emotions and embodies love. If we use love to resolve problems when we encounter things, encourage us with understanding and tolerance, and work together when we encounter things, With this sense of relaxation, both parents and children can be happy, and the future will develop in a better direction. A good family with a sense of relaxation also needs parents to come up with the following 4 Attitudes 01 Don’t make a fuss when you make a mistake. A friend told me that during the summer vacation, she booked tickets for the water park in advance and bought swimming rings, goggles, swimsuits and other equipment online. After all the equipment arrived, the family I couldn\’t wait to drive more than 100 kilometers to the destination. Before leaving, I specifically asked the children to bring all their swimming accessories. However, when they arrived at the destination and needed to change into swimsuits, they discovered that the two children only brought swimming rings, and swimming goggles, but the most important thing was the swimsuit, but she forgot about it. At that time, her first reaction was to call her father who was changing clothes on the other side. Didn\’t he pretend to be her father and told her: \”Didn\’t you prepare this? I didn’t even worry about it.” My friend was so angry that he lost his temper and said, “After I bought the swimsuit, I washed it and hung it on the balcony. Before I left, I packed it separately and put it on the shoe cabinet. I also specifically asked you to remember to put it in a bag.” Two daughters He replied aggrievedly: \”I forgot.\” Dad also quickly answered: \”If you didn\’t bring it, you didn\’t bring it. Why don\’t you just go to the lobby and buy two sets for your child?\” The friend thought to himself: \”The swimsuit was already prepared, and it\’s just because I forgot to bring it. Just buy it again, what if you don\’t remember it next time?\” So she started to talk about the conditions and said: \”It\’s okay to buy swimsuits, but you won\’t have the chance to buy toys and snacks this year.\” Although the two children didn\’t say anything, they The face was frowning and obviously unhappy. This scene made her friend who was already holding back her anger even more angry. Then she looked at the swimsuits sold for tens of dollars outside, and it cost one or two hundred to buy at the water park. She couldn\’t help but start complaining: \”As expected, I can\’t take you out to play, spend money, and have to suffer.\” But as soon as she said the words, she suddenly felt that she had been familiar with it. Thinking about it carefully, wasn\’t that the experience of being criticized and complained about when she was a child? At that time, as long as she wanted something, she could do it. I will be scolded, and I will criticize and blame all my past shortcomings. Even if I make a lot of money when I grow up, I still won’t buy the things I want. I am used to enduring the entanglement that I can’t even imagine, and I always feel that I don’t deserve it. Better things… So, the realization of deja vu made her determined to be a \”relaxed\” person. After apologizing for her previous behavior, she discussed again: \”Since I went out to play in the water happily today, I must wear a swimsuit.\” It cannot be lessYes, but my mother thinks that the money to buy swimsuits should be spent with your own pocket money. Firstly, it feels great to spend your own money to buy things. Secondly, should you be responsible for the things you forget?\” \”If you go out today without bringing pocket money. \”Mom, I\’ll lend you the money first. Remember to pay me back when you get back.\” From then on, the two children seldom forgot anything, especially when they needed to use something newly bought, they kept it in their hearts. I remember that this is the real sense of relaxation. When your children make mistakes, don’t make a fuss about it, but let them learn what responsibility and responsibility are by solving problems. In this way, the children will keep it in mind and avoid the sloppiness that occurred before. It will also be effectively suppressed. 02 Chatting like friends when lying He was afraid that he would be scolded when he got home, so he lied and accidentally fell down on the road. As a result, the owner of the cowshed who smashed the cowshed came to his door the next day, demanding compensation, and yelled something like \”You have the ability to make a living.\” He was so humiliated by the harsh words of \”I don\’t have the ability to support you\”. My mother-in-law at that time was so angry that she beat her childhood husband in front of her, and then drove him to build a cowshed for others, and put down her harsh words. : \”If you can\’t fix it, don\’t come back.\” At such a young age, he couldn\’t repair the hole in the cowshed. In the end, he was sent home in disgust by the owner. The cowshed was not repaired. The owner was angry and spread the news that her husband was a thief. The mother-in-law had no choice but to pay a sum of money to settle the matter. Later, she never looked down upon her husband who was lying and getting into trouble, especially at that time when conditions were not very good and the pressure, fatigue, and fatigue of living and raising children were There are also trivial things that make her always grumpy and she often yells at her husband as a \”troublemaker\”, \”a nuisance\”, \”not a good person\”, etc. Although she never said these words again when she grew up, she still treats her husband. He said that he could never forget the pain he had suffered, and he often became angry and refused to contact his family. After hearing about these things, I also advised him: \”It was your fault to lie when you were a child. My mother-in-law taught you a lesson in the hope that you would have a better memory.\” My husband continued to be indignant and told me sadly: \”Who wants to lie? She didn\’t force me to lie. If I didn\’t beat me and scold me at every turn, I wouldn\’t lie to others.\” Yes, the essence of lying is fear. If This person in front of you really makes you feel safe, so you don’t need to make up lies. I remember that when I was young, I was ignorant and stole 50 yuan from my aunt. When she found out, she didn’t lose her temper. Instead, she chatted with me gently like a friend. : \”Did you like something and want to buy it?\” I refused to admit it at first, until my aunt showed concern again and said, \”It\’s okay, just tell her what you want, and I\’ll buy it for you.\” Then I slowly told the truth. In order to reduce my guilt, she also specially told everyone: \”This money was originally meant to buy you food, but you are still young, so you must tell an adult what you want, and then take you to buy it together.\” From then on , I never lied again. I just told my aunt if I had anything. Even now, our relationship is as good as that of sisters. In fact, parents and children should also get along with each other like this.Relationships need to be managed and maintained. Use love to correct shortcomings and correct mistakes. No matter what happens, you can sit together and chat easily like friends. This is what we need to learn as parents. 03 Recognize the efforts of children when they are excellent parents. The key to whether there is a sense of relaxation between you and your child is whether you can feel relaxed and comfortable when communicating with each other. One of my daughter’s female classmates does not have a good relationship with her mother. They often quarrel over one thing. Every time, the girl and After the mother quarreled, she came to complain to her daughter. Sometimes she ran away from home on purpose and hid in our place to make her mother worry and worry. I advised the child: \”This is wrong. If there is anything, we should sit together and communicate. It\’s nothing.\” Things can\’t be solved through communication.\” The girl sneered a few times and then told me: If communication was successful, I wouldn\’t have run away from home. In fact, I also wanted to communicate well with my mother, but she was so strong and boring. I came home from school , I wanted to find a topic to talk about. I told her that two classmates were fighting in class today, but she scolded me for \”eating carrots and worrying less\”. I might as well study hard when I have this time. My grades are so bad, and I don\’t know. I also told her that I have worked very hard, but my math scores have not improved much, but she told me: \”Playing with things is a waste of time, you know\”, you just stare at your phone every day, it\’s weird if you can do well in the exam, I explained. , looking at her phone to look up information, she looked unbelieving, and even blamed me for talking back. After listening to this, I instantly realized the importance of parents’ attitudes towards their children. The same thing, the same sentence, you affirm the child’s efforts. , this is the sense of relaxation, and it is also the response that children need most. Once, I met a mother who really felt relaxed. When we were shopping together, someone praised her daughter for her good studies, good looks, and good popularity outside. She was just like a typical child from other people\’s families. After hearing this, she gave a thumbs up and her words also revealed her recognition and appreciation for her daughter. First, she politely praised her back, praising her sweet mouth and good talk. Secondly, she didn\’t hide anything. To be honest, my daughter is worthy of such a comment, especially her recent efforts and progress, which I have seen. Although she may not be that great compared to more outstanding people, she is As long as she is willing to learn, I believe she will become a better version of herself over time. Later, after shopping, the girl quietly asked her mother: \”Why don\’t you know how to be modest?\” Her mother didn\’t understand, and the girl continued: \”But I heard Many students say that parents will warn their children not to be proud when they perform well. You see, in the child\’s mind, parents\’ recognition and praise are the most important. Parents\’ praise and affirmation also serve as a building block for their children. It is a necessary condition for building self-confidence, especially in families with a sense of relaxation. Especially when children perform well, do not be stingy with encouragement, and do not beat the children \”don\’t be proud\”. Try to recognize and praise the children\’s efforts and progress, so that they can have more success. The courage and strength to move forward 04 Allow yourself to make decisions when trying. I often hear many parents complain: \”Why do my children become more and more indifferent as they grow up, and the relationship with their parents cannot be compared with what they used to be?\” In fact, onceThe root cause of the past closeness and the current indifference and alienation is nothing more than problems in the way we get along. I remember that psychology expert Wu Zhihong once said in a speech: \”The main reason why today\’s children are so easy-going and rebellious is The reason is that parents are too strong. They have to do everything for their children and require their children to listen to you. In such a strong environment, the children\’s abilities will be weakened. They will either accept everything timidly and escape, or they will refuse to accept everything. \”Rebellion and resistance\” From this point, it can be seen that the growth of a child is actually a path of continuous self-improvement. No matter how suitable the parents\’ arrangements are, it is not as good as the child\’s own exploration and experience. If this process is omitted, the child will eventually be the one who was raised. Flowers in the greenhouse cannot withstand the wind and rain, nor can they bear the feeling of falling from high to low. If they don’t want their children to become such useless greenhouse flowers, parents who have a sense of relaxation must not only use love as the raw material to understand In addition to being tolerant, working with your children, and being happy for your children\’s achievements, you must also learn to let go, let your children boldly try, and allow them to make decisions about their own affairs, just like it\’s snowing outside and your children want to go out. Make snowmen and have snowball fights. When your child carefully asks, \”Mom, can I go out to play for a while?\” Make your own decision, but inform your family when doing this. This is to respect us, and I really want to give you a big thumbs up.\” In this way, the child can not only master the right to make decisions on his own, but also learn what to do. I want to know the polite behavior of parents. I have seen such a mother. She was playing ball with her son in the park. After a while, a pair of grandsons walked over from the opposite side. The boy said to his son very impolitely: \”Hey \”Bring your ball, let\’s play together.\” The son was unwilling, and the boy\’s grandmother also said, \”Don\’t be so stingy, toys must be played together to be interesting.\” After hearing this, the mother\’s high IQ He replied: \”If I ask my aunt if you want to borrow a thousand yuan, will you lend it? I guess you will scold me for being confused. We are not familiar with each other, so why should I borrow money, right? Then my son is not willing to lend the ball out.\” It makes sense. If you want to play together, you have to have a good attitude. The ball belongs to my son, and it is his right to refuse.\” I have to say that this mother is really smart and relaxed, no matter what Whenever something happens, we must learn from this mother, hand over the rights to the children, and believe that the children can handle things well. Only in this relaxed environment full of trust can children grow better and better.