When you can\’t help but get angry at your child, please read this poem patiently (it works wonders)

Every child has his own growth rhythm and rules. Only by understanding this can we truly grasp the true meaning of education. What I share with you today is a classic short poem. If you can\’t help but get angry at your child, first read the following poem \”Don\’t let your child become a tearful snail\”! God gave me a task and asked me to take a snail for a walk. I can\’t walk too fast. The snail has tried its best to crawl. Why is it always just a little bit slower every time? I urge it, I bully it, I scold it. The snail looked at me with apologetic eyes, as if to say: \”I have tried my best!\” I pulled it, I pulled it, and I even wanted to kick it. The snail was injured, sweating, panting, and crawling forward… It\’s strange, why did God ask me to take a snail for a walk? \”Oh God! Why?\” There was silence in the sky. \”Alas! Maybe God has caught the snail!\” Okay! Let go! Anyway, God doesn’t care, so why should I care? Let the snail crawl forward while I sulk behind. Huh? I smell the fragrance of flowers, and it turns out there is a garden here. I feel the breeze, and it turns out that the breeze at night is so gentle. Wait! I hear birds chirping, I hear insects chirping. I saw how beautiful the stars in the sky were! Huh? Why didn\’t I have such a delicate experience before? I suddenly remembered, could I be wrong? It was God who asked a snail to lead me for a walk. Education is moving too fast. Please wait for the fallen souls. There was a philosopher in ancient Greece named Cicero. He said: \”The purpose of education is to free students from the slavery of reality, not to adapt to reality.\” Learning or education has a profound impact on the students themselves. For me, the most important thing should be for oneself; not learning for others, not learning for parents, but learning to enrich oneself, this is the real education. An excellent child who can play the piano, dance, and draw, and has good academic performance. When I grow up, I know everything when I am in junior high school, and I am in the top of every exam. Admitted to a key high school, ranked number one or among the top in the college entrance examination, and admitted to the best university abroad or domestically. Many people come here this way. In a few years, I will study for graduate school and then Ph.D. You see, my parents are also honored and feel that my child is excellent. If you are less than 45 years old, you may be a deputy division level cadre, and if you are less than 50 years old, you may be a full division level cadre. Relatives, friends, classmates, and family members all say that my child has a lot of potential. He went to prison before he was 55 years old. At this time, his parents were still crying, \”How could my child be in this situation?!\” Their children had just grown up, so there must be many reasons for going to prison. Now it has become a common phenomenon, isn\’t it Rui Chenggang? Do we want this kind of education and this kind of results? Back then, we pursued scores, chess, calligraphy, and painting, and so many talents, and finally ended up on Rui Chenggang\’s path. Then we have to think about, what is the problem with education? The core problem in education does not lie in our skills, nor in the abilities of our students, nor in reforms, nor in the technical level. It turns out that our education lacks a soul. Therefore, our educational technology level has moved too fast, and the \”soul\” cannot keep up. Education is a \”slow\” art. The daughter of one of my students was in the fifth grade of primary school.When the time came, he took me to my home to visit me. She said: \”Teacher, look at my child who doesn\’t like to eat, is thin, and has yellow hair. What should I do, teacher?\” I said, \”How old is your child?\” \”10 years old.\” I said, \”You are only 10 years old. What are you wearing?\” \”I\’m so worried.\” \”She doesn\’t do well in school, she can\’t eat well, and she\’s a head shorter than her peers. What\’s the matter?\” I said, \”You have a good image. How bad will your child be? Don\’t worry too much about this.\” Things are useless. You have to take your time to raise a child. If you worry about it, it won’t grow. Do you dare to pull it out?” In 2014, after the college entrance examination, all the applications were filled out and the admission notice came. She brought a slim and pretty girl and said, \”My name is Grandpa Shi. This is the yellow-haired girl back then.\” I said, \”Do you think you were very anxious back then? After a few years, the child has grown bigger. You are taller and prettier than you, and you got into a good university this time.” She said, “I was really anxious at the time, but I still feel very proud.” From this example, I deeply understand that education is. \”Slow\” art. What is education? Education is like cultivating flowers. You must look at them while cultivating them, and wait for them to bloom. This is how your children should cultivate them, slowly and not in a hurry. If God allows him to exist in this world, he must give him the value of his existence. As Hegel once said, \”Existence is value.\” What is suitable is the best way and way for each student to become a talent. There is no definite direction. Some schools today say, \”As long as you can\’t learn to die, learn to death\”, \”There are no students who can\’t teach, only teachers who can\’t teach\”… They are all such boring and pretentious language, thinking that education can be done in this way. alright? Don’t see the words on the door of our campus today saying “Warm congratulations to so-and-so for becoming the top scholar in liberal arts (science) and admitted to Tsinghua University and Peking University” and think that such children will definitely succeed in the future. But they forget that children have unlimited possibilities for their future. Why is a child valuable? Because He has possibilities, He has infinite possibilities. First, there is no one-size-fits-all approach, and the best education is suitable; second, there is no definite direction for the path and method for each student to become successful. Don’t think that if your child likes painting or playing the piano now, he will definitely be an artist in the future; his future job may have nothing to do with it, and he has unlimited possibilities. If you look at a child\’s poor grades and start to draw conclusions, saying that the child will be a shoe shine or have no future, how can there be such an education? What do we have so many famous schools doing now? Famous schools select children to study. Because high-quality educational resources are limited, more people choose famous schools, so famous schools are qualified to conduct screening. It is right from the perspective of the development of things, but it is wrong from the perspective of education. Education that selects people is called \”pseudo-education\”, not real education. Abandon utilitarianism and return to the laws of education. The new normal of education is to abandon impetuousness and utilitarianism and return to the laws of education. Why do we always say we should devote ourselves to educating people? Concentration is a state. How many people can concentrate on doing things now? Many times we regard students as means rather than asfor our purpose. You see, why is it used as a means? Train hard, and after training, I will receive a high bonus. This is a way for him to get bonuses and gain reputation, so he will inevitably be impetuous. Nowadays, many parents regard their children as a means. Learning this, learning that, taking the top exam, and going to a prestigious school are all just a matter of face, and they are just a means. Once children\’s growth is used to satisfy some of our adults\’ desires or needs, there must be something wrong with our education. Let’s take a simple education rule and see how many people don’t know it now. Nowadays, teachers in junior high schools assign homework, and children basically cannot finish it by 11 or 12 o\’clock, let alone senior high school students. What is the growth pattern of a thirteen-, fourteen-, fifteen- or sixteen-year-old child? For these children, between 11 o\’clock and 3 o\’clock in the night, especially between 1 o\’clock and 3 o\’clock, the pituitary gland secretes two very important hormones, one is called sex hormone and the other is growth hormone. It will not secrete even if there is light or pressure. Therefore, if a child does not sleep well and is stressed, he will not grow well. This is the rule. If the teacher understands this rule, then when assigning homework, there will be a requirement that the children must fall asleep by 10:30 at the latest. Because it takes two hours for a child to fall asleep to enter a deep sleep state. Do you see that we follow these rules now? No matter what, study hard for the sake of scores, skills, and talents. Therefore, our belief in education should be to return to the laws of education, do it slowly, quietly, and quietly, without being impetuous or showing off. There will definitely be the results we want. At that time, our children will be very good in terms of scores, talents, and abilities, and their souls will also be full. This is the new normal in education. Education must be based on three principles: the mean, the possible and the appropriate. How to do education? This issue is also a philosophical reflection on education. Education without score testing is not valid. Education that only talks about scores is definitely flawed. This is philosophy. So, let’s take a look at what philosophers think about education. The most classic Aristotle’s original words “Education must be based on three principles, the mean, the possible and the appropriate”. The golden mean, in the words of Confucius, means \”get rid of the two ends, take the middle and use it.\” In short, it does not deviate to the left or right, does not deviate to the bottom or top, and keeps the middle as the top. I personally think that moderation is the best philosophy in life and even in education. It means that we should not go too far in education, and we should not not be insufficient in education. It is as simple as that. What is excessive? Now we have gone too far and made constant changes at the technical level, so much so that teachers no longer know how to teach classes, and leaders no longer know how to assign work. When school education becomes like this, it goes too far and forgets that there are still laws of education and the inherent things in education itself. Second, \”possible\” means that we need to know that our children\’s future has all possibilities. What he is learning now, even his talents, and his scores cannot represent what he can and will do in the future. But now he has to get scores, so he has to study hard. I personally believe that these cannot be lost, so as to ensure the possibility of the future. So there is an appropriate, \”Appropriate\” actually means that our education methods must conform to the rules and be suitable for children. Don\’t see your neighbor\’s children learning everything from music, chess, calligraphy and painting, but you should also send your own children to learn. You are a doctor, and you say that the son of a doctor should learn more than others. It is wrong to think about the problem in this way. Learning what is not suitable for him is useless. You must learn what the child likes in his heart. Education is not only for adapting to the outside world, but also for the enrichment of one\’s own heart. Our education should still return to what Confucius said, Mencius said, including Montaigne said, \”Education is not for adapting to the outside world, but for the enrichment of one\’s own heart.\” There was a philosopher in ancient Greece named Cicero. It is said that \”the purpose of education is to free students from the enslavement of reality, not to adapt to reality.\” You see, what we do in education now is to adapt to the outside world. Because many students have to adapt to society, they end up learning the most chaotic things in society. All the mainstream values ​​taught in our schools have been forgotten, so we must enrich our hearts. Simply put, the most important thing about learning or education for students themselves should be for themselves. Not learning for others, not learning for your parents, but learning to enrich yourself. This is the real education. He gives back to the society through what he has learned. This is one of our subsidiary products. One of the subsidiary and objective products he has learned for himself is that he must do well for this society. If he himself is not rich, how can he do good for society? He will destroy society. Our educational methods and methods must conform to the rules and be suitable for children. Therefore, whether as a parent or a teacher, the educational methods adopted should change accordingly with the growth characteristics of the child. This kind of education method is easy for children to accept, and at the same time, they will learn what they should master in time.