The best Feng Shui for a home: four words!

On Zhihu, I saw a question: What kind of marriage relationship is the most tiring? Someone said: You happily shared with him that you had given him a bonus of 1,000 yuan, but he said, \”It\’s only 1,000 yuan. Are you so happy?\” You were busy in the kitchen and accidentally cut your hand, but he Cold sarcasm: \”You can hurt yourself even if you cook. You really can\’t do anything.\” When you are full of expectations, what you get is cynicism. Showing vulnerability only gets scolded. Then the heart, no matter how hot it is, will gradually cool down. The beginning of a relationship usually starts with a good chat. But when the person closest to you speaks thorny words and always picks the most painful spots to poke you, no matter how good the relationship was, it will be difficult to withstand such hurt. The most hurtful thing in marriage is not the disagreement or the quarrel, but the inability to speak properly. The biggest poison in marriage is not being able to talk properly. Netizen @Ben said that after his college entrance examination, his father divorced his mother regardless of family opposition. At first, he resented his father. But later I realized that my father was in a very painful relationship during this marriage. The netizen\’s family is in a rural area, and his father has little education. He can only make money by working on construction sites, and his income is relatively limited. As long as he can remember, his mother has often used words such as \”wimp\”, \”pussy\”, and \”waste who can\’t make money\” on her lips, scolding him so much that his father can\’t hold his head up. One year, my mother planted several acres of apples to supplement the family income. Her father was afraid that she would be too tired by herself, so he asked for leave to come back to help during the busy farming season. When we were working together, a neighbor praised his father and said, \”Oh, he is such a good man who takes care of his family.\” Then my mother took over the words and said angrily: \”How could he come back if he didn\’t focus on selling my fruits for money.\” The words hurt his father\’s heart, and he angrily threw down his work and left without looking back. From the perspective of @Ben’s mother, she may not think there is a problem with her speech. But these words, like an invisible sharp blade, pierced her husband deeply the moment she opened her mouth, leaving him in agony. Husband and wife should be the closest people. But because of this intimacy, we often ignore the weight of words and inadvertently cause harm to the other party. There is a sentence in \”Nonviolent Communication\”: \”A wound on the skin can only heal in 21 days at most, but the recovery of the wounds on the soul caused by verbal violence may take a lifetime.\” In marriage, the speed of speaking for a while may be It can temporarily release emotions, but the scars it leaves cannot be easily erased. Not speaking well is like arsenic, quietly eroding the vitality of love. Not only does it push the people closest to you into a cold corner, it also makes the originally stable relationship shaky and in danger. The temperature of your words determines the warmth and warmth of your marriage. I have heard this saying: \”Whether a marriage is cold or hot depends on the temperature with which you speak to the other person.\” Netizen @Blair and her husband agreed to go to the mall to eat and watch a movie, but her husband was late. He didn\’t come, so he kept her waiting for a long time. By the time her husband arrived, she was already in a mood and said angrily to her husband: \”Are you unwilling? If not, you would have told me earlier and I wouldn\’t have to come…\” Her husband was stunned for a moment after hearing what she said.He immediately came over and hugged her and said, \”I\’m sorry, baby, I\’ve made you feel wronged. I just called the meeting on short notice and I\’m late.\” At that moment, tears welled up in Blair\’s eyes. In fact, she was not angry at her husband for being late, but because she was wronged at the company when she went to work. After her emotions accumulated, she took out her anger on her husband. After hearing her story, her husband immediately comforted her and said, \”It\’s okay. I paid you a bonus today. I\’ll treat you to a big dinner. We\’ll eat all over the mall today.\” Looking at her husband\’s funny look, Blair couldn\’t care less. He was so angry that he kept giggling. Blair shared that since she was a child, her parents have always had quarrels over trivial matters such as salty food and missing keys. In her memory, the communication between her parents was always filled with sarcasm and sarcasm, and it seemed that there was never a warm word. She thought that all couples in the world were like this. It wasn\’t until she met her husband that she realized that couples also need to talk well. Later, she slowly adjusted her way of speaking, and her relationship with her husband became better and better. Luo Xiang once said: \”You must talk well to the people you love. We always reserve our worst emotions for the people we love the most. In moments when our emotions are high, we even talk harshly to each other. We know that the other person does not think so, but we still No one is willing to give in and lead to separation. \”Language is the bridge of communication between husband and wife. It can clearly express our feelings and needs, and it can also help us resolve conflicts and help us understand each other better. However, word choice is an art. If used properly, the relationship between two people will be better and more loving. If used improperly, it will make the other person feel uncomfortable and even make the love disappear. A happy marriage cannot be separated from \”talking well\”. I read a data report on divorce: According to statistics, verbal violence is one of the three main culprits leading to divorce. In marriage, words are a double-edged sword. The same thing, said gently and discussed, will make people feel respected and loved; on the contrary, if said sarcastically or maliciously, it will only make the other person sad and want to stay away. A happy marriage is mostly inseparable from \”talking well\”. If you want to make your marriage happier, try this. (1) When it comes to emotions, be calm first. Writer Zhang Yaoxiang once said: \”Anger is the easiest of all emotions to go to extremes and become abnormal.\” Once, Kou Naixin had a quarrel with her husband Huang Guolun. Kou Naixin was so angry that she not only threw her husband\’s beloved guitar, but also cursed her husband for being a second-marriage and unwanted item. These words made the husband miserable, and finally he ran away directly from the door. Afterwards, Kou Naixin calmed down and regretted it. When many couples quarrel, they easily turn their home into a battlefield. The two people talk fiercely and focus on each other\’s weaknesses, fearing that they will lose even a word. As everyone knows, these angry words will only make the other party heartbroken and hurt both sides in the end. Therefore, when you feel emotional and about to lose control, you may try to take a deep breath, temporarily leave the scene of the quarrel, or choose a period of silence to calm your emotions and avoid hurting the other party in anger. (2) Correct mistakes in time to avoid escalation of conflicts. A friend shared his marriage experience. She and her husband have been together for seven years and are still as sweet as ever. Once, a friend took a showerI neglected the small detail of changing my shoes, which resulted in water damage all over my home. Her husband said to her in a serious tone: \”You must wear these shoes when taking a shower. Don\’t wear house shoes. I have told you many times, but you can see that water is everywhere when you step on it.\” When the friend heard this, she felt a little unhappy. He responded: \”Oh, why are you so mean?\” The husband immediately realized that his tone might make his wife feel uncomfortable. So I adjusted my attitude in time and expressed my real concern: \”Baby, I\’m not trying to hurt you. I\’m just worried that you will slip and fall when you wear home shoes in the shower. I really don\’t want to see you get hurt.\” Then he humorously said He added: \”Besides, look at the pair of couple\’s slippers we bought. It would be such a waste if we don\’t wear them together.\” After hearing what her husband said, the friend couldn\’t help laughing and immediately promised: \”Wear, wear, wear , I will definitely wear it in the future. \”Marriage allows two people to become intimate and take off their guard against each other. But this kind of intimacy often makes us ignore each other\’s feelings. When our words inadvertently touch the sensitive nerves of our partners, please remember that this is a signal reminding us that communication requires more warmth and wisdom. A true wise man knows how to overcome strength with softness and understands empathy. Use love to soften your partner\’s emotions, and use the language of love to smooth the waves in your marriage. At the end of the writing, Yang Jiang once said: \”Life is half firewood, rice, oil and salt, and half is the stars and the sea. If you put a little salt, it will be salty, if you put a little sugar, it will be sweet. It is up to you how you want to make it taste.\” The meaning of marriage is to encounter problems. Someone discussed it and had someone to eat with when they got home. It was because they had been wronged outside and received a warm hug when they came back. Instead of finding someone to \”discuss swords in Huashan\” every day, causing constant disputes and smoke in the family. For the rest of our lives, I hope we can stabilize our emotions, be a \”well-spoken\” person, and nourish this relationship with love and tenderness. I also hope that we can all meet someone who \”talks well\” and makes our married life warm and interesting.