After knowing how my parents celebrated the Chinese New Year, I decided to have a second child.

A few days ago, after I posted a notification about whose home I was going to celebrate the New Year, reader Fang Fei sent me a long message about her experience. Fang Fei and her husband met at a hometown gathering. Their hometown is in the next county. According to rural custom, she and her husband go back to her parents-in-law\’s house every Spring Festival to celebrate the New Year, and then go to her parents\’ house on the second and third day of the first lunar month to \”pay New Year greetings.\” Fang Fei has an elder brother who is doing business in other places. Their daughter is a few years older than Fang Fei’s son. She used to stay with her grandparents in her hometown. Her elder brother and sister-in-law only return to her hometown during the Chinese New Year. The whole family enjoys the New Year’s Eve dinner in a lively manner. . The year before last, the eldest brother\’s daughter was going to elementary school. They were afraid that the old man would not be able to tutor the children in their studies, so they took their daughter with them. That year they were busy with business and did not go back to celebrate the New Year, and Fangfei\’s family did not go back to their hometown. Last year, my brother and sister-in-law went back, and Fangfei also went back to her parents\’ house on the third day of the first lunar month. The whole family reunited, not to mention how lively it was. Fang Fei looked at her parents smiling from ear to ear, and listened to the laughter of her son and little cousin, feeling very good. In the evening, my elder brother and sister-in-law set off a lot of fireworks in front of their house. The two children were very happy, and the neighbors next door also came to watch the fun. Fang Fei was busy saying hello and chatting with Aunt Zhang and Grandma Li. At this time, the aunt next to their family sighed: \”You and your brother are both back this year. Your family is so lively. Look how happy your parents are! Your brother and his family didn\’t come back last year, and you didn\’t come back either. Your mother didn\’t even buy anything for the New Year. She just got some food on New Year\’s Eve, which was worse than celebrating the holidays. She didn\’t go out to play or visit. Your mother caught a cold a year ago and didn\’t feel better until after the Lantern Festival… You should discuss it in the future. If the brother and sister don\’t come back, the two old people are too deserted.\” Fang Fei almost cried after hearing what the aunt said. She knew that the old man was looking forward to them going home to celebrate the New Year. Which family didn\’t do this? According to rural custom, married daughters spend the New Year at their groom\’s house. If Fangfei actually goes back to her own home to celebrate the New Year, her parents may not agree. Fang Fei had never thought about the situation of two old people celebrating the New Year at home. This time, through her aunt\’s words, she had various details in her mind: the new year is approaching, and in previous years, her mother would do a general cleaning, drying quilts and washing curtains, the tables, chairs, and stove in the kitchen. We have to wash everything and prepare all kinds of food a few days in advance…My mother got sick last year, so I might not have the strength to do the general cleaning. On New Year\’s Eve, every household is decorated with lanterns and colorful decorations, but in my own home there are only two parents facing each other. Such a scene is so desolate. Fangfei decided to go back to her hometown every year from now on. Although she couldn\’t have New Year\’s Eve dinner at her parents\’ house, her parents were happy to be able to go back in the first month of the year. Not long after this incident, the two-child policy was relaxed, so Fangfei and her husband decided to have another child. She hoped that she would not spend the New Year in desolation when she grew old. F, a second-child mother born in the 1980s, is the only daughter in her family. When talking about why she gave birth to a second child, it actually has something to do with the Chinese New Year. F and her husband are both only children in the family. Regarding the Chinese New Year, she and her husband have made an appointment long ago: one year for her husband\’s family and one year for her mother\’s family. In the past two or three years, if F took her child back to her husband\’s house for the Chinese New Year, her parents would travel abroad with the group, the first time to Japan and the second time to Thailand. At first, F thought it was good for his parents to do this, and he could take the opportunity to go out and have a look. She told her colleagues, who all said her parents were very fashionable. But once I was chatting with my mother and talked aboutRegarding the Spring Festival travel, I asked my mother where she planned to go to celebrate the New Year this year, but my mother was not as excited as she imagined. She said lightly that going abroad for the New Year would not have the atmosphere, but celebrating the New Year at home would have the flavor of the New Year. Only then did F realize that his parents were not following the trend, nor were they very open-minded. They just couldn\’t bear the loneliness at home and chose to avoid it. But the ancients have long said that \”on every festive occasion, miss your loved ones twice as much\”, not to mention the Spring Festival, which is the most important thing for us Chinese people? It was precisely in this way that F finally decided to have a second child. Now her eldest daughter is 7 years old and her younger daughter is 3 years old. She said that people\’s life expectancy is getting longer and longer now, and there are still 20 or 30 years left after retirement at the age of 60. F hopes that in the long decades, she can have children and grandchildren around her, and she can have more choices during the New Year and holidays. Why do we have a second child? Most people may want to give the eldest son a companion, but some people have a daughter who wants to have another son, or a son who wants to have another daughter, or some people decide to have a baby after unexpected pregnancy. There are various reasons. . There are also all kinds of funny jokes on the Internet: The country calls on us to have a second child because when we get old and lie on the hospital bed and can\’t move, the eldest brother can discuss with the second child: Will the oxygen tube be pulled out? If he only had one child, he would have no one to discuss with and couldn\’t make a decision! I have several friends around me who are struggling with whether to have a second child. They have also asked me for my opinion. I help them analyze the pros and cons, describe the hustle and joy of second child life, and provide them with reference without too much personal bias. sex. But the New Year is approaching, and when the topic of returning to my hometown to celebrate the New Year comes up, I suddenly want to say to my girlfriends who are struggling: have a second child. If we only have one child, regardless of son or daughter, no matter how selfish we are after he gets married, we can\’t let them come back to reunite with us every year without considering the other half\’s parents, right? If one year is spent on one side, and the other small family celebrates the New Year on its own, it means that most of the time we have to celebrate the New Year together as a family. Look at Xiaoxi and Xiaonuo, who are always at my feet. The two kids are either quarreling or fighting from morning to night, or they are making all kinds of noises, which makes my brain hurt. Imagine if in the future, I have to celebrate New Year\’s Eve with two old men and women, Nuo Xi\’s father, what will it be like? Thinking of this, I was immediately happy to have given birth to two children. If this one doesn\’t come back, the other one will still be there. I have no research on population policy. I have heard terms such as the earth’s population explosion, social aging, sharp decline in fertility rate, and demographic dividend, but I don’t understand them all. My husband and I have two children. This is an equal transfer. From an individual point of view, we neither add more burdens to the earth\’s population explosion, nor contribute to the worsening of aging. That\’s fine. . I remembered that a few years ago, my father had a heart valve surgery. After he came out of the intensive care unit, he could not leave me for 24 hours. My brother and I took turns to accompany him in the hospital. I had not yet given birth to my second child at that time, and I thought that I would do this when I was old. What would Xiao Xi do on her own? In order to reduce the burden of children taking care of the elderly, and in order not to be so miserable when they grow old, I want to tell those friends who are wavering and hesitant: If you can be born, can afford to raise, and can be taught well, all should answer the call.Have a second child!