Don’t praise it, don’t criticize it! It’s difficult for the elderly to communicate with their children because you don’t realize these three points

Raising a child is a very tiring task, and you may be struggling every day. But when I look back and think about the people who have helped me, many things are no longer so heavy. For example, your husband/wife who has always supported you, your grandparents who help take care of your children… You may have something to complain about when it comes to the elderly raising children, such as having outdated ideas and not accepting scientific parenting concepts; ignoring rules and doting on children; and despising science. Raised rough… To put it more simply, it is difficult to communicate. In fact, the old man also loves the child in his heart. Both parties work hard to raise the baby, but they are not looking in the right direction, which makes the efforts in vain and adds to the obstruction. The contribution of the elderly must be recognized if you know why it is difficult for you to communicate and how to communicate correctly. Then your efforts will be 1+1>2 1. Understand each other’s efforts. You must know that the elderly’s ability to adapt to the environment is very limited. Give up your own social circle, or even a perfect retirement plan, and come to an unfamiliar environment. , helping you do hard work is a very stressful thing. When life becomes boring like taking care of children + watching TV, it is easy to focus on taking care of children. They need to take the initiative in raising children in order to balance the sense of sacrifice for raising children. Tips: Help the elderly enrich their leisure time, introduce the elderly to the parents of friends or colleagues, sign up for flower arrangement, pottery, dance classes, etc. It is also a good choice to soothe the mood. Maintaining a relaxed and comfortable state can effectively avoid behaviors such as \”deadly arguing\”. 2. Helping you take care of your baby should not be taken for granted. \”Respecting the elderly and loving the young\” is a moral principle that we all agree on, but it should not be used as a slogan for moral kidnapping. Everyone has the right to control their own life, and clearly define your boundaries. You should learn to be grateful for the elderly who help take care of the children. There is a common misunderstanding. If you think that it is natural for the elderly to help you take care of your children. The old man will think, \”I gave birth to you, so why can\’t I make the decision about my grandson/granddaughter?\” Everyone is an independent individual, and boundaries are very important. \”Either you contribute money or effort, otherwise don\’t have your own whims!\” This sentence is a popular point of view at the moment, and it expresses the unspeakable feelings of mothers who are forced to have a second child. But I feel that no one can influence your thoughts. You have absolute control over whether you want a second child or even whether you want a child. When conditions buy you the initiative, you lose the power to direct your own life. Tips: Set boundaries, thank the elderly for their contributions materially or spiritually, and give the elderly a \”holiday\” when they have time and energy to take care of their children on weekends. They also need to have their own lives. 3. We are both raising children, so communication must be reasonable. \”Modern scientific parenting does not allow pooping and peeing!\” and \”You are all raised like this, and you are not all good!\” It sounds the same in the eyes of both parties. Unreasonable. The elderly are also the children\’s biological grandparents, and everyone is doing their best for the children from the bottom of their hearts. Sometimes the old man doesn\’t mean to make a point, but your words are not convincing. Not explaining the reasons, just drawing conclusions = unreasonable. Everything needs to be well-founded and well-founded, you needExplain the causes and consequences, and provide evidence or even data to prove your position. For example, you can tell the reasons to the elderly about the urine problem. Most elderly people are not stubborn, but just have information asymmetry. Tips: Grasp the big ones and let go the small ones. As long as it doesn\’t involve principles, don\’t interfere in everything. What needs to be noted is that we must discuss the matter as it is and not settle old scores. Although everyone has different positions, they all deserve to be respected. If you act emotionally, things will never be clear. When there is a disagreement, use evidence to prove your position. If you are still not convinced, you can stick to your point of view. After all, it is your family, and you can still make the decision. If the elderly must express support, you can use other methods, such as paying for a nanny. Category.

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