Today you protect your children from cruelty, but who will pay for them tomorrow?

A few days ago, I went to the hospital to visit a teacher, surnamed Liu, who is in his early 60s and has Parkinson\’s disease. At first, the symptoms were only mild, but later developed to the point where he would fall down if he accidentally stepped on a small stone while walking, and his life entered a stage where he could no longer take care of himself. She was admitted to the hospital one night when the nurse was not around. She wanted to go to the toilet but was reluctant to wake up her 27-year-old daughter, so she fell down in the living room. It was Saturday when I went there, and there were four elderly people hospitalized in that ward, all of whom were cared for by nursing staff. We were chatting with Teacher Liu when her daughter came, looking unhappy. In the middle, Teacher Liu wanted to urinate, and her daughter said very impatiently: \”Why are you so busy! Knowing that I am inconvenient to move, I wouldn\’t drink less water!\” This sounded like a bastard, but when the daughter left, , Teacher Liu sighed: \”Do you think this child is too ignorant?\” Of course we denied it, but Teacher Liu knew better: \”It\’s my fault. I gave birth to a daughter when I was in my thirties. My wife hurts her as if she were an eyeball. She is not willing to let her wash dishes and sweep the floor even when she is a teenager. It is difficult to find a job after studying in a private university. I asked a student to help her arrange a stable and relaxed place. I want to travel by myself. Our salary is not enough and we provide her with supplements. After my wife passed away, our conditions were often not as good as before, but she still couldn’t pay for her credit card, so I still helped her. Who knew I could get such a torturous disease, hospitalization, rehabilitation, and hiring a caregiver for seven days? Adding up seven to eight thousand, I can\’t make ends meet for less than eight thousand a month. My family\’s savings have been exhausted, and my salary is not enough. My daughter\’s salary is just enough for herself, so she has to find someone to borrow money to help me treat my illness, but there is too much money. It’s hard to borrow! Look at her recent state, she is almost driven crazy by my disease. If my wife and I hadn’t doted on her so much, and let her know the family’s financial situation earlier and understand that life is never easy, maybe she wouldn’t have collapsed Before I left, Teacher Liu told me something serious: \”If you have a boy at home, you must let him be more independent. The child must be responsible. When he enters the society and encounters many obstacles in the future, he will not feel like the sky is falling.\” \”Indeed, children whose parents overprotect themselves lack the opportunity to endure setbacks and the courage to face life head-on. When encountering dissatisfaction in life, one is either helpless or grumpy. This kind of sadness is largely caused by parents hindering the growth of their children. An uncle in my hometown also doted on his only son. When the child gets married, in order not to lose face, the bride is given the highest standard of bride price. The new house is bought over 130 square meters, and the furniture and appliances are all according to the child\’s wishes. The wedding is naturally a luxury version in the county. After the marriage was over, my uncle also owed nearly 200,000 yuan in foreign debt. He felt sorry for his son and felt that he was only in his early 50s and had the ability to make money, so he had already made an agreement with his son that he would bear all the debts alone. But something unexpected happened. The uncle was accidentally injured while decorating for someone. He lost the ability to do heavy work and could no longer be overworked. My aunt was originally an ordinary housewife. She worked as a part-time worker, picked up the children, and cooked meals, earning a monthly income of 1,000 to 800 yuan. In this case, the old couple was naturally unable to repay the foreign debt they owed during their marriage. The relatives and friends who had lent them money turned to the uncle\’s son to collect the debt.When the newly married daughter-in-law heard that she had shouldered a debt of two hundred thousand yuan for nothing, she was naturally unwilling to do so. She often quarreled with her husband and even called her uncle and his family liars. The uncle\’s son was caught in a dilemma. His despair and helplessness made this big boy who had been cared for since childhood almost collapse. In order to numb myself, I drank wine outside all day to avoid seeing my parents and daughter-in-law. After coming to Beijing, I met a girl. Children from standard middle-class families have never had a relationship after graduating from college because their parents take strict precautions against them. After working, she met a man who was 8 years older than her and fell in love headlong. I never thought that the other party already had a fiancée, and they staged a bloody drama of being treated as a mistress and beaten violently. At the supermarket checkout, I saw a grey-haired mother snatching the shopping bag from a child who was a head taller than me, with infinite concern: \”Hurry up and carry it to Mom, don\’t tire you out.\” More than 20 people in the first 20 years Years ago, parents took care of everything. In the following decades, parents began to hate iron and steel, feeling that their children \”know nothing but just chew on the old\” and \”have no opinions at all\”… Could this kind of sadness be caused by Aren’t parents hindering their children’s growth? It is undeniable that parents want their children to live a safe and happy life, and they often regard their children as more important than themselves. No matter how old a child is, in the eyes of his parents, he will always be a treasure that never grows up. But there is one fact that cannot be changed: whether we are willing to admit it or not, children will grow up when they grow up. At the age of 1, they take the first step in life independently and start the mode of staying away from their parents. At the age of 3, they put on their little schoolbags, leave their parents, and get along happily with their friends. At the age of 6, they enter primary school and enter the first stage of the ten-year cold window. At the age of 12, they start junior high school. When they have a boy or girl they like, they would rather share their inner thoughts with their friends than tell their parents. At the age of 15, they entered high school and began to fight fiercely against the arrangements of their parents for their own independence. At 18 years old, most of them are in college and may have their own girlfriends or boyfriends. Even if we chase them and ask them where they are, what we hear may be just prevarication or lies. In their twenties, when they want to get married, we are still willing to help, but find that we are increasingly unable to do so… When they go to kindergarten, we are worried that they will be bullied by bigger children; when they go to elementary school, we are worried that the teacher\’s criticism will make them They lose self-confidence; when they go to junior high school, we worry that they will be hurt by puppy love; when they go to high school, we worry that their grades are not good and they will not be able to go to a good university… Many times, when our children go hungry, we are scratching our hearts and feel They have suffered such great grievances that they never thought that they would work overtime all night long and hungry. We try our best to nip all harm in the bud, but we forget that only pain and children\’s reflection on pain can make them grow up and strong psychologically, and then have the courage to face the ups and downs on the road of life. When I was working in my previous employer, I once came out of the subway entrance and saw a touching but uncomfortable scene: a grandma who I didn’t know was a grandma picking up her grandson from school. The grandson was in his early ten years and had nothing in his hand, while the old man had nothing on his left hand.He was carrying a large bag of vegetables in his hand, a large bag of sheets and other items in his right hand, and his grandson\’s large schoolbag on his back. Because he was slow to move, his grandson kept urging: \”Oh, can you hurry up, or else I won\’t be able to watch cartoons when I go home!\” Student Zhe is a very active child. After picking him up from school, he will communicate with the teacher about his situation at school. I\’m worried about him running around, so I usually hold him in my arms. When the kindergarten principal sees it, he will tell him to put the child down and go on his own. Although this was a misunderstanding, and I had no chance to explain that he was not able to walk but ran too fast, I particularly understood the principal’s request: a child’s life path, whether it is smooth or bumpy; whether it is warm, No matter how cold it is, they need to experience and face it themselves. Because of love, we may try our best to protect them, but one day, we will leave this world before them. When we are no longer able to protect them, the self-righteous love we had at the beginning may become an obstacle that they cannot overcome. A good life comes from an optimistic response to unsatisfactory life. The cruelty we keep out of our children will sooner or later be returned to them. Therefore, instead of wrapping our children in our self-righteous protection, it is better to let them go early and let them get in touch with this complex world, lest one day sudden changes in life crush them without any combat experience.