When raising a boy, where is the father’s place?

Many mothers talk about their sons. Most of them shook their heads. \”Oh, it\’s so skinny. It just doesn\’t tire me out!\” \”When a new piece of clothing comes on, it changes color in a long time.\” \”The new pants have holes in them within two days. You see, the girl is much gentler.\” In fact, The bitter waters don’t stop there. It is recommended that you never ask the following question. Otherwise, many mothers will suffer 10,000 damage points. \”Where\’s the baby\’s father?\” Most of the answers are like this: \”Ge You is lying at home!\” \”He\’s on a business trip and working overtime!\” \”He\’s gone. I haven\’t seen the baby much since he was born. I haven\’t seen him change a diaper.\” I often hear There are psychologists who shout, \”If you raise a boy, your mother will have to abdicate!\” But if mothers abdicate, who will take over? I wish dads could carry it a little more. Many people say that fathers are unreliable in raising children. That\’s because I didn\’t take the trouble to bring it. I really thought about this matter, how could I not lead it well? Who is born to be a father? It\’s just that after many men become fathers, they still feel that they are just old boys and have not shouldered the responsibilities given by this role. He Jie got divorced some time ago. I didn\’t pay attention to the gossip, but the scene of his husband holding his son and playing games was really shocking. This father is really unreliable when he brings his two or three year old child to play online games. Before I had children, you and your wife could level up and fight little monsters together, and you could play whatever you wanted. But after you have a child, you still have no rules and do whatever you want without any inhibitions. Do you know how much impact it has on children? Of course, many men truly mature and become more responsible for their families after having children. Such a family is happy. Because the absence of father will only make the children lack father\’s love in their hearts. It also left my wife scarred. The earlier a father influences a boy, the better. Many people think that when a child is young and he is not sensible, it does not matter whether his father has any influence on him. But in fact, children of different ages have a need to connect with their father, and they will interpret the meaning of father at different ages. I often find that my son will observe me quietly. For example, when I was angry and I said swear words, he would remind me, \”Dad, you just said swear words!\” And when I stayed up late one night writing a manuscript and got up late the next morning, he would tell me \”Dad, you said you should go to bed early and get up early, why do you always get up late?\” I was really speechless by his question. Therefore, if I want to watch a movie, I will watch it quietly by myself when he is out. And try to look at your phone as little as possible when spending time with him. He asked me what can a computer do? I said it\’s for work, and of course I can watch movies occasionally. So he always thought that my computer was for dad to do things, not for fun. The same goes for mobile phones. My mother and I don’t have games installed on our mobile phones, so he won’t play with them either. And when you play outside, it\’s even more interesting. He would point to a short wall and ask his mother, \”Mom, do you dare to jump?\” Mom really didn\’t like those climbing and jumping. But dad is different, he is born for these sports. So I would play with a bunch of kids in the square, and they would chase me. As for me, I shuttled and climbed between those steps and railings.Climb and jump. The kids have fun every time. When it comes to raising boys, fathers have an advantage. This advantage comes from gender identity, strength, and speed. Boys have more dopamine in their blood, and dopamine can increase the probability of impulsive and risky behavior. This means that boys are naturally more active than girls. Therefore, boys should run more, jump more and climb more. Therefore, fathers should spend more time with their sons. When playing, you can play like a child and be thick-skinned. Dads who play with their children are now like national treasures. Someone likes you. You can play mud fights, step into puddles together after it rains, scream loudly when you are excited, and climb and take risks within a safe range. These are the qualities of a man. Therefore, fathers should be involved in their children’s growth as early as possible. Don\’t wait until your children are older, and what you say and do will have little impact. Raising a boy requires more love and discipline from a father. \”I love him, but I also discipline him.\” Love and rules are two parenting arts that parents should master. If love is not enough, then the rules will become cold laws or even shackles. But if the rules are missing, the love will turn into wrong love and doting. For example, in our family, the elders would say that I \”spoil\” my children because I respect their feelings and psychological needs. Sometimes the old man can\’t understand and feels that I let him go. For example, when he loses his temper sometimes, the old man will say that he will be beaten. But he didn\’t break the rules, he was just in a bad mood, which was a normal emotion. Why hit him? Returned to the city from the countryside the night before. Because it was a little late at night, my son fell asleep on the road. When he woke up, he complained that he was hot, and then his grandmother gave him some wind. It doesn\’t work, it\’s still noisy. I said I would hold him for a while, but he refused. I knew he was getting angry, so I told them to let him cry for a while. Sure enough, I burst into tears. After a while, they started punching and kicking. This is when you need to be disciplined. I told him, \”If you don\’t control your behavior within 1 minute, then stop the car and let you walk home by yourself.\” After a while, he recovered and stopped making noise. But I was still in a bad mood. When I got home, I said I would carry her upstairs. I hugged him for a while without saying anything. While I discipline you, I also want you to feel loved. Someone to guide you when you make a mistake. Someone punishes you when you break the rules. There is someone to help you resolve your grievances. Having someone to comfort you when you are feeling down. Someone understands and is with you when you cry. In the process of growing up, boys need rules, someone needs to supervise them, and we need to teach them. Because they spend more time with their mothers, they will understand their mother\’s weaknesses. Some children can even control their mothers with their love and tenderness. At this time, dad, a strong helper, is needed to support mom. Children must be given good discipline and a sense of rules. Because if you don\’t take care of your child, the world will teach him a lesson. A boy who lacks the discipline of his father is more likely to be bruised and scarred during adolescence, and his frustrated psychology may never fully recover. Of course, the father’s position also needs to be “vacated” by the mother. We will also encounter many strong mothers who will be picky as soon as their father makes a mistake. No gainA father who is understood and trusted by his wife will never take care of his children. If your mother occupies this seat in the family and acts like the \”boss\” at home, while your father \”submits himself\” and has no say, you are actually telling him that this is how a man should be. Families where the mother and son are too \”sticky\” and the father has no place to stand are most likely to raise problematic children. So pay attention appropriately: take a step back and give your position to your husband. When raising a boy, the father must be in place quickly from the time the child is born. Inside every good father lives a child. Then grow up and play with your children.