Mom, if you don\’t love me, then please don\’t give birth to me

Not long ago, a mother in Xianyang took her two children to a hot spring. Her 4-year-old son was nowhere to be found. After a long search, it was discovered that the child had drowned. The child struggled in the water for three minutes while the mother played on her phone. How helpless and desperate the child must feel when he watches his mother\’s back struggling not far away. Any mother with some common sense knows that a 4-year-old child is not yet aware of safety. Even in shallow water, there are dangers. What\’s more, it\’s in a swimming pool where the deep water area and the shallow water area are connected. Some people blame this on modern people\’s obsession with mobile phones. Mobile phones have taken away mothers\’ attention and love for their children. Mobile phones have turned many mothers who stay with their children into \”hollow people.\” Actually, what does this have to do with mobile phones? There are many mothers who like to scroll through Moments and look at their mobile phones, but she is the only one who still stares at their mobile phones when their children are in danger. There is also a mother who locked her three-year-old son in a cage in order to go out to play mahjong. There are all kinds of strange, irresponsible mothers who give birth to children but cannot treat them well. There is also the mother who jumped to her death with her two children some time ago. Do you love yourself? Do you love your parents? Do you love your children? Just because you can\’t feel your husband\’s love, do you want to take away your child\’s life? Moms, if you don\’t love your child, then please don\’t give birth to him. Reader Xiaoqing, the first sentence she wrote to me was: I really regretted giving birth to my second child, and even more regretted not taking care of my second child. If I had been strong-willed and only wanted one big treasure, I wouldn\’t be worrying about the second treasure all the time like I am now. When Xiaoqing got pregnant unexpectedly, she was still struggling with whether she should have this second child or not. She didn\’t want to. Her five-year-old son was lively and cute, and her job had just improved a bit. She was reluctant to go back to being a housewife. But my son often said that he wanted a younger brother and sister. All the children in the class had younger brothers and sisters, and he was the only one who had no one to play with. My husband’s opinion is that it’s important to have a second child. He doesn’t particularly strongly want a second child, but he is also undecided about this unexpected “winning” event. The financial pressure is obvious. With a mortgage and two people working, it is easy to support a house and raise a child. But with two, Xiaoqing can no longer go to work. If one person raises four, life will be tight. . The opinions of the parents on both sides are that this child must be had, must be had. If you don\’t do it now, you will definitely regret it later. Except for her, her family members have the same opinion: they want a second child. Reluctantly, Xiaoqing became the mother of her second child. She prayed to Bodhisattvas thousands of times for a girl, but in the end, she still became the mother of two sons. Dabao came to her while she was waiting and hoping for it. However, this second treasure was not something she wanted willingly, so naturally she lacked patience and love. Erbao only stayed with him until he was half a year old, and then he was sent to his mother-in-law in the countryside to be a left-behind baby. The child has grown to three years old and is of kindergarten age, and the family\’s financial conditions are better than before. Her husband wants to take the second child from his hometown, but Xiaoqing says that the kindergarten in the city is too expensive, and his hometown is not far from the city anyway. , she can go back to see it once a month. In fact, she doesn\’t like the dirty second child.She doesn\’t care about hygiene and has many bad habits. Moreover, she is not close to her. When we meet, she only likes to be held by her father. When she goes back, the child will sleep with her grandma at night. When the child went to elementary school, the parents-in-law were in poor health, so they had no choice but to take the child with them. But she still couldn\’t like Erbao, the child who caused her trouble all day long. When I went to elementary school, all my classmates spoke Mandarin. Only Erbao spoke the dialect with a strong accent from his hometown. Not only did he have few friends in school, but he also often got into fights. Today he scratched this classmate’s face, and tomorrow he would drink ink on his face. I still can\’t get along well with my classmates, and I don\’t like to study. Therefore, she is often invited to school by teachers. When Xiaoqing talks about Erbao, she complains and hates him. He looked like he hated iron but couldn\’t turn it into steel. Sometimes I would come up with a sentence: If I had known that my second child would be like this, why would I have given birth to him? If you treat your second child like this, a child who is not accepted by his mother, will he like you? He feels that he is redundant in this family, and he can only find trouble again and again to attract his mother\’s attention and love for him. The emergence of problem children is mostly due to problems in the family and problems in the way parents treat their children. First of all, as a mother, you must love your child and let him feel your tolerance, care and love for him. Only then can you establish a good parent-child relationship and develop dependence and trust on your mother. If a child cannot establish a good relationship with his mother, how can he establish a relationship with others? In the movie \”We Need to Talk About Kevin\”, Eva is a professional woman who dreams of traveling around the world. She meets Franklin, her sweetheart, during a tomato fight, and their marriage begins. Soon after, she becomes pregnant unexpectedly. From then on, her life had nothing to do with happiness. While other pregnant women were working out together, chatting happily, and welcoming new life happily, she was confused, helpless, terrified, and her biggest feeling was helplessness. After the heartbreaking pain, her son Kevin came to her side, and she began her life as a housewife. The child has not been a worry-free experience since he came to her. Although Eva took care of the child conscientiously, Kevin still cried non-stop when he was a baby. The mother had no choice but to push the child to the side of the construction site to cover up her son\’s crying by making more noise. But as soon as father Franklin picked up his son, the child immediately stopped crying. Not only during his infancy, but also during his childhood and adolescence, Kevin was always very docile and well-behaved in front of his father, who loved him unconditionally. But in front of his mother, he looked completely different. Kevin was three or four years old and could not speak yet. He went to the hospital for a checkup and found that there was no problem with his body. He was seven or eight years old and still couldn’t take care of himself. In fact, he was fully capable of doing these things. He just wanted to use these to cause Mom\’s attention, come and go against her mother. His mother said to him: \”My mother used to be happy and joyful. Since having you, my mother\’s life has completely changed!\” Even though she became a housewife, she still did not forget her dream and decorated her entire room. Maps were plastered all over the world, but they were all destroyed by Kevin spray paint.. Eva did not discuss with her husband and Kevin, and decided to have a second child on her own. Kevin was also full of hostility towards this younger sister. It was common for her to bully her when she was a child. The relationship with her mother further deteriorated. First, he damaged one of her younger sister\’s eyes. Blind, when his father, who had always doted on him, gave up on him and sided with his mother, Kevin was completely desperate. He began a long-planned massacre. 16-year-old Kevin shot numerous classmates on campus, and shot his father and sister at home. He did not kill the mother he hated most. When Eva asked him what he was doing all this for, he couldn\’t answer. He was anti-family at first, and later anti-society. His original intention was to avenge his mother\’s \”unlove\” for him. His mother\’s disgust and indifference towards him from the bottom of her heart, and the hostile mother-son relationship made Kevin embark on the path of being anti-family and anti-social. Although his mother took care of him dutifully, she never expressed her inner love for him like she did for his sister. Him, love him. He hated his mother, hated everyone, and finally embarked on the road of no return. He was telling his mother a truth with facts: Mom, if you don\’t love me, then please don\’t give birth to me. Since you have given birth to a child, you should love the child well, otherwise, you will live in regret throughout your life. If you are just here to fulfill the duties of a mother and try your best to play this role well, but you are not loving him from the bottom of your heart, he will be able to feel it no matter how young he is. He will use his own unique way to confront you, sing the opposite, and even take revenge on you. The child and you are so integrated that your body is the source of the child\’s life. The child grows, breathes, and grows in your body because you came into this world. The child will grow up in your warm embrace and become the person you care about the most and love most. If someone asks what is the greatest love in the world? The answer is always the same: maternal love. Every child in the world who is not liked by his mother is the most pitiful child in the world. As a mother, if you cannot guarantee to love him well in the future, then please do not let him come into this world. Now that you have become the mother of a child, then love your child well!