Children\’s emotions of being ignored are landmines on the road to growth

There is a saying that has become very popular in recent years, \”It would be great if you understood me!\” It has even become the voice of a generation. Especially parents of the younger generation often sigh like this. Because too many of us were ignored by our parents when we were growing up. Parents of the older generation, due to the harsh social environment, find it difficult to support their children. We cannot blame them for raising a bunch of children at home despite extremely scarce material conditions. It\’s not easy to leave anyone alone. However, that kind of incomprehensible pain will still cut into my heart like a knife. I have a friend whose father died when he was very young. Relatives and friends at home have always taken good care of him. Most of the clothes he had when he was a child were given by relatives, but everyone\’s conditions were not very good. Therefore, the things given to him are often less new and more old. But something was better than nothing, and he would wear it. At that time, his friends often laughed at him, saying that he was wearing an adult\’s leather shoes. He wore leather shoes even if he had no money, and even showed one big toe. He would chase and beat people every time, but his mother always told him, \”Don\’t fight with people, live a good life, it will be nice if you have something to wear.\” He told us that this is how he survived step by step. People need to be observant of what they say and do, and behave in a disciplined manner. Everyone praises him for being sensible, but no one is really willing to listen to his heart. No one can understand the pain in his heart. So he often found a place by the river or at the foot of the mountain to cry where no one was. And no one in these families knew. I remember one time when we were drinking, we were talking about our children and our own childhood. Several friends told him, \”Actually, you are living a pretty good life. You are not suffering at all. So many people are helping you.\” At that time, he poured a glass of wine down his throat, which looked quite scary. \”No one understands me. You can laugh at me and insult me, but you can\’t deny my feelings.\” No one spoke, what could be said? Because how many people understand our own feelings? And when we become parents. You will find that how much children\’s emotions have been ignored? Emotions are innate and exist during the fetal period. For children, the first emotional expression should be \”crying\”. A little baby comes into the world and cries to call for the protection of his parents. Then use crying to express your feelings or needs. But in the world of adults, emotions are often classified into good emotions and bad emotions. Of course, everyone likes to see good emotions, but they collapse when they encounter bad emotions. One of the situations we see most is \”adults can\’t bear the cry of children.\” At the beginning, I was the same. When I heard the child cry, my heart collapsed. But when I face my child’s emotions and actively try to understand the reasons behind them. As soon as the child cries, he will immediately collapse and either violently suppress it or roar. Another method that is often used is the \”threat of abandonment.\” I remember once, I saw a 3-year-old child chasing his mother on the road. While crying, she chased and shouted: \”Mom, I was wrong, I didn\’t buy it.\” \”Mom, mom…\” ButIt was the mother who was so angry that she didn\’t even look back. She didn\’t look back until she reached the corner: \”I said I won\’t want you if you still do this.\” \”Do you dare to do it next time?\” At this time, the child hurriedly wiped away tears. Ran over. This is a \”smart\” method often used by many parents. As soon as the child gets angry and disobeys, just throw him aside and threaten to let him go. When children tremble with fear, they will obey. But do you really understand how your child feels? Use this method to win the child\’s compliance while ignoring the child\’s feelings. In fact, it is not smart at all, but it will hurt the children. Child psychologist Kenneth Barisi said: \”What usually happens is that children cannot regain their state in a short period of time. The painful feeling drowns them for a long time. Gradually, the emotion of loss and resistance takes over, and family communication becomes more and more vicious. Cycle.\” Indeed, a young child is learning to control his emotions. If parents do not pay enough attention and love, but ignore their children\’s emotions. Eventually the child will become more rebellious and even hysterical. Because I have never been understood in my heart, and I don’t know how to express my emotions. This kind of parent-child relationship will only get worse and worse. Especially when your child faces some big changes and you suffer inner trauma. Emotions are still ignored, which will affect the child\’s mental health. In \”The Catcher in the Rye\”, the protagonist Holden is a child whose emotions are ignored by his family. And this also laid the groundwork for his future misfortunes. Holden had a younger brother, Ally, whom he liked very much, so when his younger brother died of leukemia, he couldn\’t accept his death. He would often recall that at a young age, Airy would write poetry on and between the fingers of his softball glove. Airy, who had red hair, would sit on his bicycle outside the golf course fence and watch himself play. Because of his deep love for his brother, his brother\’s death was a huge blow to him, and it was even difficult for him to accept his family\’s arrangements. He couldn\’t figure out why the family could continue to live after Airy\’s death. He thought Airy\’s death was significant and Airy\’s significance to the family was significant. For a child, his or her parents are the first person to confide in. But many people focus on the feelings of his parents and ignore the inner feelings of this older brother. In particular, his parents never pay attention to him, but instead think that his extreme behaviors are mental illnesses. In fact, it is the emotion of a child who cannot find a way out, has no comfort and acceptance. Freud said, \”A person\’s life will be shaken by trauma, become discouraged, have no interest in current life and the future, and will forever lock themselves in the box of memories.\” When parents did not give Hall Dun\’s love was enough for him to face his brother\’s death. So he is destined to choose to escape and deny reality. Only the attention and love of parents can make children mentally strong. If a child is crying, please don\’t just say \”Don\’t cry, don\’t cry.\” Instead, stand by the child\’s side and understand the child\’s heart. Why do parents ignore their children\’s emotions? They are often self-righteous and never empathize with their children. Many times, it is determined by parents’ inherent prejudices or ideas. Raising children is different from ordinary work becauseWhat we are facing is a life that is growing, changing, and has its own independent soul. Moreover, children have different feelings in different eras, but parents are often not sensitive enough. He also uses his own ideas that he thinks are right to understand his children. A child\’s feeling of being neglected is a landmine on the road to growth. Parents themselves must first not lay mines, but they must also do a good job in clearing mines. Don\’t always pay attention to your child\’s grades, but also care about your child\’s heart. Accept your child\’s emotions and pay attention to your child\’s feelings. This is parental love.