This is how to deal with the difficult moments when your baby is one or two years old

In the past two days, I often meet friends who ask me, my child has always been pretty good and not particularly difficult to take care of, but why does it suddenly change at any time? When he is one or two years old, he always says \”no, no, no\”. It’s really upsetting when the little kid becomes rebellious, what should I do? OK also has this stage, where he always says \”no, no, no\”. My mother, who helps me take care of OK on a daily basis, often gets angry with him. It takes a long time to negotiate for a bath and then he takes off his clothes violently; it takes a long time to drag him to eat, and then he is forced to eat. chair. Of course, every time I did this, it was very frustrating, and the effect was very bad. As time went by, OK said \”no\” to grandma more often than to anyone else. However, this problem has not bothered me too much, because I don’t take OK’s “no, no, no” too seriously. The more I get involved in the situation, the more I focus on the “no, no, no”, the more likely I will get stuck. Don’t be serious. If you face your child\’s stubbornness head-on, you will \”lose\” if you take it seriously. It will definitely be enough for you. Today, I am here to tell you how we can send T2 away without anyone noticing. What are the terrifying manifestations of a one- or two-year-old child? A one- or two-year-old child has just begun to awaken his self-awareness and gradually realizes the existence of \”I\”, so he wants to prove that he is independent through his own actions. This is a normal mind of a child. It is a necessary stage of development, but it is also called the \”terrible two years\” because of its rapid mood changes, easy temper tantrums, frequent willful crying, and a tendency to say \”no\”. This stage is often not limited to the age of two, but may begin at one and a half years old and continue until about three years old. >>> If you want to be independent and say \”no\” all the time, don\’t take it seriously. When you were two years old, your favorite words were \”no\”, and you would respond to everything you said to him with these three words. In fact, most children at this stage will have this uncooperative stage of saying \”no\” at all times. Because they are so old, they don\’t have more words to express their needs except saying \”no\” to show their domineering side. At this time, they have entered a new stage of leap in self-awareness. If you cannot read his little eyes in time and cannot process his information, the child will feel quite aggrieved and can only use tantrums, screaming, etc. The method allows us to perceive his small universe. In fact, children who say \”no\” all the time are really not annoying, but are cute and pitiful. Is it possible that we really have to take our children\’s \”no\” seriously? To use a common saying: If you take it seriously, you will lose. When a baby says no, it means that his independent consciousness has emerged and he wants to do things his own way instead of following instructions. Then, we only have two years to choose: allow or not allow. If the child is allowed to say no and it goes the way he wants, then feel free to let him go; if not, there is no need for conflict. There are many techniques to avoid a lose-lose outcome. Some coping tips can be found below. >>> Being willful and not listening to advice is sometimes a good opportunity to teach your children to give up. Two-year-old children often have stubborn tempers. When my son was about two years old, I took him on the bus several times. He loved it, especially when he held myWhen swiping the bus IC card, the machine will make a \”beep\” sound. For several months, every day when I woke up, I would dig through my bag to find the bus IC card and beg me to take him to the bus, mumbling \”bus card\” non-stop. Of course, I can\’t have plans to go out every day, so on those days when I just take him downstairs for a walk in the community, as long as we get off the elevator and walk out of the corridor, he will go straight to the community gate like a pony without the reins to go out and sit. the bus. If you force yourself to do so at this time, you\’re bound to end up in a farce of crying and fighting if you don\’t agree. Willfulness is also a characteristic that begins to appear in many children around the age of two. Doing things according to their own subjective preferences without any scruples often makes adults worry about becoming a bully in the future. But in fact, willfulness in early childhood is not a personality, but a manifestation of psychological needs. During this period, children\’s awareness of participation and autonomy is greatly enhanced, but they still do not have the standards of the adult world such as right and wrong, self-control, safety awareness, and even moral bottom line. They just do it when they have an idea. Activist people who only care about themselves, \”heartless\” people naturally do not care about the feelings of others, and will have strong feelings of resistance once they encounter obstruction. Although this kind of behavior will be considered disobedient and annoying by many adults, in my opinion, every willful suggestion is a good opportunity to satisfy the child or teach the child to give up. It depends on whether the parents’ persuasion skills are superb~ The degree and duration of T2 are directly related to parents. Although most parenting knowledge will tell you that the reason for T2 is that the child’s self-awareness begins to awaken and he begins to want to be independent, but what the OK mother wants to say is that if the child The T2 symptoms are always repeated endlessly, so there is another more important reason, which is that parents are not accompanied enough and there are insufficient coping methods. T2 is a Western word. The reason why there is a proper noun like T2 shows that these terrible phenomena are also common \”diseases\” among baby bears all over the world. Waiguoren\’s parents will also be worried and crazy about this. Although we will see many articles praising how powerful Western full-time mothers are, and their efficient operation is indeed true, human energy and time are limited after all, even if one-to-many can keep the children fed. There are plenty of toys and a big garden to play in, but when the child really asks his mother to accompany him or give him a hug, he may be busy bathing his little brother or sister, or he may be busy frying steaks for the whole family. , it is also difficult to \”response to requests\”. The requirements of a child before the age of two are very simple and \”rough\”. Sometimes he just wants you to tease him, hold his little hand, and lift him up. As long as you respond and do it, he will feel safe in his heart. fully. But if it is always difficult to satisfy, even though the years are quiet and the child will gradually get used to solving it on his own, there will be a long-term backlog of too many unanswered needs, and the child will lose a sense of security in his heart. Judging from my own experience, dealing with T2 children really requires a lot of time and enough patience. One time, I was coding while my son was playing. Suddenly, the QQ that was open on my computer made a \”tuk-tuk-tuk-tuk\” sound, which aroused my son\’s curiosity, soJust have to climb up on my chair to study my computer. Although I really don\’t want to be disturbed at this moment, I know that my son has already set his sights on exploring, and stopping him will only lead to a war. I simply put down everything I was doing, opened the folder where QQ sounds were stored, and listened to him one by one. It took me 20 minutes to turn the crisis around. There is still too much time. Just because the child needs to do something but cannot do it independently, the mother can only accompany her silently. For example, when she is washing her son\’s hands and he suddenly starts asking to play with water, then okay, mother will accompany him. In the end, the company lasted for more than an hour until he had enjoyed himself to the fullest. How I spent my son\’s T2 leisurely. If I want to spend my child\’s T2 leisurely, it is necessary to prepare enough time and energy to meet the child\’s requirements, or even just clean up the mess in the house. To a certain extent, if we are all satisfied with the child\’s exploratory behavior, we will stand by quietly when he climbs on the sofa, as long as we can catch him when he steps on the air and falls, and when he plays with water and garbage, If we can calmly clean up the scene of the accident, the chance of conflict will be reduced by more than half. But after all, we need to arrange our lives, and there will be many behaviors that violate the bottom line of safety and we must stop them. Therefore, in order to avoid making trouble too ugly, we still have to carry a few weapons in our pockets. When the child\’s temper gets angry, we can take it out steadily. Come up with tools to control the situation. Let me share a few of my own tried and tested methods. 1. Change your attention. My son has always liked bathing, but one day he refused to take a bath at all. That day, my grandma caught her son to take a bath like a hawk catching a chicken. Seeing my grandma falling out of her old ways and saying, \”Grandma won\’t like you if you don\’t wash me,\” I felt that this chase could be stopped. I walked up to my son and said, \”Baby, let\’s go take a bath.\” My son still replied, \”No,\” and started to stay away from me, not letting me get close. I kept a distance from him and said, \”Oh, my little one doesn\’t want to take a bath today? Well, the little duck is waiting for us in the bathroom.\” Seeing his hesitant expression, I immediately approached him and continued: \” You don’t want to take a bath?” My son said, “I don’t want to take a bath.” I said, “Okay, let’s not take a bath, let’s go see the little duck.” In this way, I have succeeded in the first step, my son He held my hand and walked into the bathroom without crying or fussing. 2. When he walked into the bathroom with inconsistent words and deeds, his son saw a large basin of water and began to insist again: \”I don\’t want to take a bath.\” Hey, boy, your mother, I have tricked you into here, so don’t even think about running away. I thought in my mind and grabbed him tighter, while saying inconsistently: \”Okay, okay, okay, We don’t take a bath, so let’s swim with the little ducks, and mommy will sing you the duck-counting song~~A group of ducks passed by under the bridge in front of our door…\” While I was talking, my son had already been stripped naked by me. At this point, the son had no ability to resist anymore and sat in the bathtub obediently. For children whose mantra is \”no\”, we really don\’t have to pursue the word \”no\”. On the contrary, we can follow the word \”no\” to complete it.into what we need to do. 3. After taking a bath, my son returned to the bedroom wrapped in a bath towel. He took off the bath towel and ran around on the floor. He refused to cooperate with his grandma in getting dressed. The grandmother was worried that her son would be frozen, so she was anxious and angry, so she blurted out: \”Grandma doesn\’t like you anymore.\” She also kept her face down as she spoke. Another sentence that inspired the child\’s \”fighting spirit\”. When the son saw his grandmother\’s angry expression, he jumped up and down even more enthusiastically, without any intention of restraining himself. Seeing this scene, it was too late to divert my attention. I simply played the game of eagle catching chicken with my son. After a full 5 minutes of fun, my son\’s resistance completely disappeared. I picked up my son and said, \”Oh, mommy is so exhausted. I almost couldn\’t catch the baby.\” As I said this, I quickly I put clothes on my son, but I never mentioned the word \”getting dressed\”. When we want to persuade children to cooperate in completing something, timing is particularly important. If we satisfy the child\’s most urgent desire at the moment, then cooperation will naturally be easier. 4. Act appropriately. My son often likes to smash things, and he still hasn’t given up completely until now. There are different emotional expressions behind the behavior of smashing things. Sometimes it is boredom, sometimes to vent, sometimes to attract attention, and sometimes just for fun. Compared with the first three situations, if you just think it is fun, it is more difficult to stop it, and the more you stop it, the more vigorous it will be. In this situation, I would use my coquettish trick and deliberately get hit by something my son smashed, and then I would pretend to cry in pain: \”Oh, oh, oh, it hurts so much, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,\” Sometimes, my son would stop and look at me blankly. While my son was stunned, I continued to pretend, \”It hurts so much. Come and rub it for mommy.\” When a child has a sense of independence, he is most susceptible to the idea of ​​me being strong and you being weak. His parents, who are usually strong and set the rules, suddenly become weaker than him. Even the most unreasonable child will feel soft and pity his parents. Although using compassion to stop the behavior of smashing things is not a long-term solution to the problem of smashing things, we need to understand that smashing things by children is not a bad behavior that must be stopped. These are legitimate behaviors of children. 5. Intimate contact Once, my son was playing with his electric car, the kind that he could sit in. After playing very quietly for half an hour, he suddenly started asking to turn the car over. This is not an ordinary toy car. Such a big electric car cannot be turned over at all, but no matter how you reason with him, he just keeps acting recklessly. After thinking about the whole context, I realized that my son was just sleepy. Firstly, it was already past the usual nap time, and secondly, my son had been quiet for half an hour. People tend to get sleepy when they are in a quiet state. I picked up my son and let him lean on my shoulders like he was a baby again. In an instant, his whole body changed from an angry little hedgehog to a soft little rabbit. Children in the T2 stage have actually just transitioned from infancy to early childhood, and often still experience the irritability and sleepiness experienced in infancy. It is at this stage that some babies transition from two sleeps a day to one sleep a day, so they often start to feel sleepy during lunch, causing them to be particularly anxious during lunch and not eat enough.After a few mouthfuls, he started kicking and kicking. Basically, it only happens when a child suddenly starts to get emotional for no special reason, such as sleepiness, fatigue and other physiological conditions. The best way at this time is to pick up the child and relieve his irritability and discomfort. 6. Assign tasks Instead of always passively satisfying children’s independent exploration at their request, it is better to proactively create more opportunities in daily life for children to enjoy their own abilities. When I am with my son, I will give it to him as long as I can give him anything to do, such as swiping the placket card when entering the corridor of the unit, swiping the card when entering the elevator, swiping the card at the entrance door at home, and answering the doorbell when it rings. I will leave all these things to my son. Since children want to do things so much, wouldn’t it be a win-win situation to let them share some of the work?