There is a boy in the family, and dad has a long road ahead…

What I see from the direction of my childhood is always your back… You call me to be a son and I follow you to become a father. This is the poem of Bei Dao\’s \”For Father\”. These two poems tell the true meaning of the relationship between father and son: the father brings his son into this world. No matter how picky and challenging the son is, one day he will suddenly discover that his father’s characteristics are also hidden in himself. Looking at his father’s back to your own shadow. No one can deny that father is the most important person in a boy\’s growth. Many mothers ask me how to make their children\’s fathers care more about their children instead of caring about card games or ball games, let alone always being indulged in games. Sometimes I feel very incomprehensible and have nothing to say. Because I can\’t say to a man, \”Hey, love your child! He needs you.\” Because this is a logic that everyone understands: when we bring children into the world, it is a commitment of love and a responsibility. There is no need for a reason, just because of love! Every boy looks forward to what he will look like in the future when he is young. What kind of man will he become? I often look for templates from my father. \”I want to be an outstanding person like my father.\” \”I can\’t be like my father.\” Between the choices, we can see the power of my father\’s example. But no matter what, the son still cannot escape the influence of his father. In our lives, there are many funny men, but too few funny dads. Father and son should not be enemies, but best playmates and confidants. I used to have a colleague who was quite funny. I always tell a lot of jokes every time in the office, making everyone laugh. But one time, his son, who was in primary school, came to the company with his father on the weekend because there was no one at home. That day, he seemed to be a completely different person. The little guy is careful in the office, lest he make a mistake. Some female colleagues gave their children something to eat, but the children didn\’t dare to take it because they had to look at their father\’s face. And this humorous man had a straight face that day. Talking to children is also cold. It\’s really puzzling. When everyone talked about it the next day, he said, \”I really have no choice. I really don\’t know how to communicate with him. My father did the same to me when I was a child. It\’s okay, it\’s good.\” \”Did the child kiss his mother?\” ?\” \”Of course, I am the one who is the one in our family. If the kid disobeys, I will beat him.\” \”It\’s a pity! You are such a humorous person, but you don\’t often do interesting things for your son.\” He was a little silent. But change really doesn\’t happen overnight. I have always felt that having an interesting father is a blessing for both the children and the whole family. Especially when life is in a downturn, my father\’s optimism and courage are like the light in the darkness. In the movie \”The Pursuit of Happyness\”, salesman Chris lives in desperation and his wife leaves him. Only his son Christopher gave him some happiness. Chris always showed his optimism and courage in front of his son. When the two were desperate and forced to stand in a daze in the subway station, Chris lied that the medical device he was selling was a time machine. The 5-year-old child closed his eyes in disbelief and pressed the button with his father. After opening his eyes, he actually cooperated with his father.Looking at everything around him curiously, it feels like he has really arrived in the prehistoric dinosaur era. Children themselves are happy angels. They are good at forgetting unfortunate things and even better at imagining beautiful things. Of course, if you are an interesting person, you are willing to sit on the floor with your child, or let your child lie on your body. Play together, make trouble together, fantasize together, dream together. Boys need their mother\’s tender love and their father\’s discipline. Many people may mistakenly believe that when the baby is young, he is not sensible, and it does not matter whether his father has any influence on him. But in fact, children of different ages have an inner need to connect with their fathers. If the father does not participate in child care, boys often suffer the greatest losses. Dads should get involved in their children\’s lives as early as possible and assume the responsibility of raising them. Only when you really put in your hard work will you cherish it more. Your feelings for your child are like this, and your child\’s attachment to you is not the same. Since my son was born, I have tried my best to stay with him. Hug him more, make him milk and change his diapers at night. Listen to music with him, talk to him, and sing lullabies. Tell him stories and watch the scenery together. When he gets a little older, accompany him to crawl and take the first step in life. Listen carefully to his babbling. Slowly you can understand his babbling language. And in this kind of company, we give love, but we also receive full love from our children. When children grow older and begin to have self-awareness, they will be able to say no. I will also express myself willfully, whether I want this or not. Nowadays, my son sometimes puts his hands in his pockets and says to me, \”Dad, this is my freedom.\” He means to tell me to shut up. Every time I am surprised and tell him, yes, yes, your freedom, dad supports it. And those bad habits driven by naughty impulses will continue to appear. Boys need rules and supervision as they grow up. Many times, when children spend more time with their mothers, boys will appear less \”obedient\” in front of their mothers, but much more \”well-behaved\” in front of their fathers. The role of father, no matter how gentle he is, still has the majesty of a man. Because of your strength, responsibility, decision-making, courage… these characteristics will make your children admire you from the bottom of their hearts. They will even get close to you psychologically, although on the surface they may seem a bit out of place. After a boy reaches the age of 10, especially after puberty, he will consciously and gradually become alienated from his mother, and become closer and more dependent on his father. The father\’s attitude, life hobbies and habits are all of interest to the children. And the father\’s attitude towards the mother makes the child even more interested. Therefore, in addition to providing support, consideration and care to boys, fathers also have the responsibility of disciplining and even punishing boys. A boy without his father\’s discipline is more likely to be bruised and scarred during adolescence, and his frustrated psychology may never fully recover. There are some things that Dad would be more appropriate to talk about. In the process of raising a boy, there is one thing where dad’s involvement is crucial. That\’s sex education. For example, little boys will initially be confused about the body structures of men and women. Many mothers feel shy when answering, which only makes their children more curious. If it were a father, it would be more appropriate. My son has been like this recently. He saw in a cartoonAnyone in front of me who was wearing less clothes would ask me excitedly. Another time I brought over a Disney animated picture book, which was \”The Little Mermaid\”. The cover showed a picture of a little beauty in a swimsuit. The child was very interested and took it to ask his mother. The mother was already embarrassed by the child\’s incomprehensible questions. Sometimes he said \”shameful face\”, but he became more and more proud, holding up a book and yelling. When he came to my place, I finished talking about picture books with him very calmly, and by the way, I also popularized to him the differences between boys and girls. Especially when boys reach adolescence and encounter some sexual confusion, if the father can give the child some care in time and resolve the doubts in time. A father\’s responsibility is not only to educate his children in reading and life, but also to provide a material foundation for their children\’s growth. It also affects the psychological development of children. If a father is an alcoholic, or has a bad temper, and has been quarreling with his mother for a long time, this will leave a shadow on the child\’s psychology and will not disappear easily. Nowadays, many good girls hate to marry but dare not. A big reason is that there are too many scumbag men who dare not fall in love vigorously, and end up losing themselves in it. The boy we raise will also become a man. We hope that when they grow up, they will not let themselves down, nor be let down by others, nor let them let down others. He can be strong or sensitive. It can be responsible or loving. It can be an engineer or an ordinary worker. He can be a leader, or he can be an ordinary loving father who loves his family. And dad plays a key and indispensable role in this process. There is a boy in the family, and the road ahead for dad is really long.