The second child is an overloaded truck, and the driving skills are not good enough, so it’s better not to give birth to it.

Last week, my sister was hospitalized for a minor surgery. This surgery has been scheduled since the Spring Festival, but the time has not been set yet. At that time, the doctor said that the surgery would require hospitalization for a week, and I had been worrying about how to arrange it this week. The hospital is far from home, a taxi costs more than 100 yuan, and taking the subway takes nearly two hours one way. My sister goes to kindergarten around 8 a.m. every day and gets out of school at 3:40 p.m. I usually pick her up and drop her off. If my sister is hospitalized, I will definitely have to stay in the hospital to take care of her the whole time. Then my sister\’s transportation will become a big problem. Nuo Xi\’s father would be late for work after dropping off the children in the morning, and would not have time to pick up the children after get off work in the afternoon. Nuo Xi’s father suggested that I register for a hotel near the hospital, give my sister a week off, and take her with her to accompany her sister. My sister and I would stay in the hotel at night, while my sister would stay in the hospital alone. This proposal was rejected by me. First, my four or five-year-old sister stays in the ward all day long. Putting aside her health problems, just doing it can kill me. I don\’t need to think about it to know that only a mobile phone or a storybook can greet her. The thought of telling stories from morning to night makes my throat smoke. Second, although my sister looks as tall as me, she is not yet 12 years old. She must have someone to accompany her during the night in the hospital. I suggested asking my grandma from my hometown to come out and help us for a few days, but Nuo Xi’s dad said he should try not to disturb the elderly. I thought about entrusting one of my classmates’ parents to help pick up my sister, and then I would pick up the child from their house after Nuo Xi’s father got off work. But the kindergarten is more than a kilometer away from our community. One parent has to pick up two children. The workload and safety responsibilities are really big, and it takes a week. Thinking about it, it feels inappropriate. Therefore, this unsolvable problem has been dragged on. Two weeks ago, when the doctor said that my sister\’s surgery would be scheduled for last Wednesday, we hadn\’t figured out what to do with my sister. The doctor arranged a Class A ward for us, which only required two days of hospitalization: admission on Tuesday, surgery on Wednesday, and discharge on Thursday. Of course, the bed fee is 1,500 yuan a day (a few dozen yuan a day for ordinary wards), and the bill cannot be reimbursed. When I woke up last Monday morning, I found that my sister had a stuffy nose, a hoarse voice, a completely different speaking voice, and a slight cough. When she told me that I felt a little dizzy, even though I didn’t believe in Buddhism or religion, I couldn’t help but think to myself: Don’t get sick, Amitabha! Amen! I took her temperature and it was normal. After breakfast, I drank a bag of isatis root and gave me some cough drops. She used an angelic voice to tell her that she was not dizzy (I guess she was sleepy when she just woke up). Not long after I sent her to school, I received a call from the hospital saying that the specialist would be on a business trip on Wednesday, so she would be admitted to the hospital on Tuesday (the next day) morning, operated on in the afternoon, and discharged on Wednesday, so she would only have to stay in the hospital for one day. After receiving the call, I quickly decided to ask my classmate’s mother to pick up our children for the day. In the evening, my sister came back from school and her voice was still hoarse. Fortunately, the cough did not get worse and she had no fever or other symptoms. That night, after the two kids went to bed, I started arranging chores for the next day, packing things from the hospital, and washing a basin of dirty clothes. It was already 2:30 in the morning when I went to bed. Early the next morning, I felt like I had just fallen asleep when my alarm clock rang. After struggling, I got up and took my sister to the hospital. Nuo Xi’s father saw us off after seeing her off. It was already 3:30 after the surgery in the afternoon., Nuo Xi\’s father stayed with her sister for an hour, and rushed home at about four o\’clock. He went to pick up his sister from a classmate\’s house, and then hurriedly asked her to eat, bathe and go to bed. He lamented to me: Fortunately, my sister didn’t catch a cold. This time, my sister’s hospitalization was arranged so compactly and dangerously, Amitabha! Amen! The busiest time for a second-child family is definitely when the child is sick. In the winter of the year before last, my sister had the flu at school, and many classmates fell ill. My sister also had a fever and cough for several days. Two days after her sister went to school, she fell ill with a fever and cough. In just one night, she developed acute pneumonia and had to be hospitalized. On the day of admission, my sister had her final exam. I accompanied my younger sister to the hospital. My fourth-grade sister was on winter vacation after her exams. She stayed at home alone all day long, reading and playing games all by herself. One time, she didn\’t go to cook noodles until three in the afternoon. During those days, my father made breakfast and my sister made lunch by herself. Dad goes to buy groceries and cook after get off work every night, and then takes my sister to and from the hospital to see us, which is really busy. One day, my father got off work late from a meeting. The days were short in winter and he had not returned home until dark. The house was big, and my sister was very scared when she was alone. She called me crying. My heart was broken. I cried silently as I listened to her cry, but I could only ask her to turn on all the lights in the house and turn on the TV… One day during the process, my father had to go to Beijing for a business trip and would not come back until the next day. Before he left, he sent his sister to the hospital and stayed with us in the evening. My sister and I slept on a children\’s bed, and my sister slept on a recliner used as a hospital bed. The next day, I was criticized by the doctor and said that the child could not stay in bed with me in the hospital… At that time, I couldn\’t help but think that it would be even more troublesome if my sister couldn\’t cook for herself. If my sister is not ten years old, but five years old, then I will really go crazy. When I thought about it, I said to myself: \”It\’s okay! It\’s okay!\” In addition to my child getting sick, I\’m also afraid of any \”accidents\” in daily life, such as parent-teacher conferences, school arrangements for parents to be on duty, etc. It’s not that I’m unwilling to cooperate with teachers and participate in and understand my children’s learning and life. It’s just that my life can’t withstand a little “accident”. Most of the parent-teacher meetings at my sister\’s school are scheduled during her school days. Picking up the children after the meeting is not a big problem. My sister’s parent-teacher conferences are mostly held at 6:30-8:30 pm. One parent-teacher meeting happened to be when Nuo Xi\’s father was on a business trip, so I made dinner before setting off to pick up my sister in the afternoon. After picking up my younger sister and picking up my elder sister, it was already six o\’clock before we got home. I dropped the two sisters off at the gate of the community and told my elder sister to hold her hand and go home. I turned around and rushed to school. The school is more than 20 minutes\’ drive from home. I parked the car in the parking lot and ran all the way to the classroom. The parent-teacher meeting was held just before 9 o\’clock, and it was almost 9:30 when we got home. Through the security door, I heard a cry of ghosts and howls inside. When I walked in and asked, it turned out that my sister wanted to do homework. My sister didn\’t dare to play alone in the living room, so she could only follow her into her bedroom, and there were constant conflicts. I greeted my sister by my side, and while grabbing a few mouthfuls of cold food, I urged my sister to concentrate on her homework. Then I washed her, told her stories, and put her to sleep. It\’s all over, I\’m exhausted, no moreI can’t take care of my sister’s homework anymore. People often ask me: Is it okay to have a second child? Do you think I should have a second child? This question is really difficult to explain in one sentence, but I suggest that you calmly consider the following three aspects before making up your mind: 1. Is your wallet big enough? Children are money shredders. If you only earn enough money for one machine, then Don\’t have a second child. In addition to considering how much it will cost to feed, drink, and sleep your child, you also need to consider whether there is anyone to help you take care of it. If there is no elder to help, the cost of hiring a nanny must be taken into account, or one of the couple must sacrifice their income to take care of the baby full-time at home. 2. Is your health good enough? If one child\’s workload is 0.7, and you feel it is a bit relaxed, then the workload of two children may be 1.1 or 1.2. Regardless, it only increases by 0.4 or 0.5, and the workload exceeds 1 , indicating that it has been overloaded. It\’s okay for a person to be overloaded occasionally, but after giving birth to a second child, the overloaded state will have to continue until the child goes to kindergarten, which will be at least three years. If you don\’t have good physical fitness, it will be difficult for you to survive. In the four or five years after giving birth to my second child, my health was extremely good. No matter how hard I worked, I almost never got sick, 365 days a year. Sometimes I think, it may not be because of how good my physical fitness is, but because I know in my heart: I am not qualified to be sick! 3. Is your emotional intelligence high enough? The never-ending war between two children can easily drive a busy and exhausted mother crazy. An anxious mother may also cause tension in the relationship between husband and wife, which will lead to a series of family problems. Are you strong enough? Can it withstand high pressure? Can you tolerate a messy home? Is it acceptable for a child’s learning or personality to be unsatisfactory? If not, you\’d better not consider having a second child. In general, a two-child family is like an overloaded truck, which can drive forward smoothly based on inertia on a straight and flat road. But once there is a slope or curve, or there is a pothole or small stone on the road, or it encounters wind, frost, rain or snow, this overloaded truck is prone to problems. If the driver is highly skilled, he or she can save the day from danger that would otherwise be lurking. Life is like a journey. How do you go from youth to middle age? If you want to be relaxed and relaxed, listening to songs and seeing the scenery along the way, then don\’t buy a second child and just drive a car with a moderate load. If you want to transport more goods, and you are willing to strain your nerves and go all out for this, and you are sure that your driving skills are good enough, then you can have a second child. If you drive an overloaded car and concentrate on walking this section of the road, you will naturally gain more than others.