If you let it go for any reason, you are just slapping yourself in the face.

Xiaojia is a three-year-old girl. Her mother believes in a natural and passive education method. Everything is done according to Xiaojia\’s preferences without any control. When we went to play at a friend\’s house, Xiaojia made a mess of the things in the friend\’s house. Xiaojia\’s mother never stopped the child. The friend looked at the mess on the ground and said nothing, feeling very unhappy. Similarly, when Xiaojia was playing with other children, Xiaojia forcibly took possession of other children\’s toys, but her mother still ignored her and allowed him to do whatever he wanted. As time went by, when the children saw Xiaojia, they all avoided playing with her. Xiaojia’s mother euphemistically said that Xiaojia’s various self-behaviors were allowed to “grow naturally”. However, such laissez-faire will give the child a psychological hint that \”what he is doing is right\”, which will further encourage the child to be willful and unscrupulous. If Xiaojia has been growing up in this kind of laissez-faire environment, she will often be immersed in her own little world, centered on her own feelings, and not knowing how to take into account the feelings of others. Over time, the child will become a selfish person. Parents neglect their children without restraint, and as a result, they raise children who are farther and farther away from hope, and the internal wounds of failed upbringing hammer their hearts with nowhere to complain. Xiaojia is still young, and the child\’s temperament has not yet been truly finalized. I hope that Xiaojia\’s mother will discover and correct the misunderstandings in raising Xiaojia in time, give Xiaojia freedom to grow up, but also exercise appropriate control, and truly raise a child. A child with a warm heart. One day during the summer vacation last year, I suddenly received a call from my best friend, saying that her son, who was in the second grade of junior high school, had run away from home. I was shocked after hearing this and rushed to her house. My best friend cried and told me the whole story: After the holiday, my best friend watched her son sleep until he got up at noon every day and then picked up his mobile phone to play games. She couldn\’t help nagging a few words, but the naughty child quietly ran away from home the next day. This made everyone crazy. Call the police, search the streets, look for friends, look for classmates… I have searched all imaginable places, but there is still no trace of the child. Three days later, just when my best friend was about to collapse, the naughty boy suddenly appeared at the door of the house. It turned out that during the past three days, he spent the night under the bridge, and then he went home when he ran out of money and couldn\’t survive. My best friend and his wife go out early and come home late every day, busy running the business of a small restaurant. They go out in the morning when the child is still sleeping, and when they come home late at night, the child falls asleep again. The couple only have time to see their children every day and have zero communication with each other. They have no time to understand what the children are thinking. During the years of indifference, the children also locked their hearts towards their parents. Under the surface of their seemingly peaceful relationship, there was an undercurrent surging, and a small fuse triggered a dangerous situation – the best friend nagged the child a few words, and he ran away from home in anger. Afterwards, I said to my best friend: There has been a long-term lack of communication between you and your child. You have no way of knowing what your child is thinking, and he cannot see the hard work of your life in your indifference. In this way, while you are busy with your business, it will grow silently like weeds. His love and trust for you are blurred or even downplayed by your indifference. If you say something to him and he runs away from home angrily, the fault is not entirely his, but mainly your fault.It is caused by the lack of care and discipline for children. My best friend listened silently and said nothing. Life is certainly not easy, and many parents often use the excuse of survival to indulge their children and neglect to discipline them. It is the parents\’ laissez-faire and indifferent attitude towards their children that causes them to lose their normal growth psychology and do things that hurt themselves and others. No matter how busy or tired you are, you should take some time to accompany your children, get into their hearts, understand them, comfort them, and give them the correct guidance for their growth, so that their lives will take fewer detours. No amount of wealth or career success can offset the failure of raising children. After graduating from high school, Youyoulan entered the service industry and is now a room supervisor in a hotel. Her education is not high, her job is ordinary, and she has to work shifts. But it was she who raised a daughter that everyone envied. When friends occasionally bring their children to get together, her fifth-grade daughter always behaves politely, speaks generously and appropriately, and consciously helps clean up the mess. Among the many children who only care about playing, Lan\’s daughter\’s sensibleness often attracts praise and envy from everyone. Regardless of her good character, this little girl is still the top student in elementary school. This time she won the first place in the class in the final exam. Everyone asked Lan how they raised such a virtuous and talented daughter. Lan smiled and said, \”Of course this is discipline.\” \”How to discipline her?\” Lan said, \”Actually, I have let go of many things about her now.\” But today\’s juvenile detention is based on discipline and rules established in childhood. Ever since she became sensible, I have focused on guiding and restraining her to sit, lie, and behave in a correct manner, to be humble in her attitude towards people and things, and to be responsible for her own affairs. Slowly, these requirements and rules penetrated into her life and study. As she grew older and accumulated over time, these good behavioral habits internalized into her outlook on life and values. Naturally, when I let go, she will live and study according to her own outlook on life. She is able to be like this because I spent more time with her, paid attention to her, and guided her outside of work when she was young. In fact, the reason why we take more care of our children when they are young is because we will take less care of them when they grow up. When children are young, it is a critical period for their growth, and parents cannot ignore their care and supervision. Even if you take ten to twenty minutes a day, you can communicate with your children. No matter what parents do, they do it for their lives and their children. Children are our hope in this life. Children grow up healthily like a strong tree under the company and correct guidance of their parents, which is the greatest reward for our efforts. As parents are the initial guides for their children as adults, how should they love and control their children so that they can grow into the best version of themselves? I think this starts with parents spending more time with their children, paying more attention to them, and getting to know them better. Understand their growth psychology, give them enough empathy, get into their hearts, and jointly establish correct rules and principles. Children understand their parents\’ love for them, recognize and take action on their parents\’ restraints. Why should parents worry about raising children with their own unique charm? Raising children is actually a nurturing, heart-to-heart interaction and feedback. Smart parents know how to capture their children’s hearts with their own hearts and give them the rules of love.Under the wise discipline of parents, children gradually grow up to be what their parents want. No one in the world is born good or bad, and how they look later is the result of their upbringing and discipline after birth. Parents who let things go for any reason are a slap in the face.