Can\’t a child have more than 3 pairs of shoes? The psychologist’s analysis made me suddenly realize

I took a break from work some time ago and took advantage of my daughter\’s free time to go to kindergarten to tidy up her small room, especially the pile of knickknacks in the corner. I used to think that my daughter had too many toys, but after I started to tidy them up, I realized, oh my god, it’s enough to open a small grocery store! Various kinds of cards, more than 20! Those with rhinestones, sequins, flowers, velvet, and small animals; all kinds of plush toys, bears, rabbits, big-headed boys… The big ones can fill a small bed, and the small ones can fill a storage box. , it is estimated that there are more than 30; I can’t even write their names. I have bought two bundles of beautiful pencils, as well as a bunch of matching erasers, pencil sharpeners, picture books… The father of the child even joked that his daughter’s kindergarten collection I won’t be able to use up all these stationery supplies even after graduating from college. The situation at home of many readers is probably similar to mine, perhaps with more piles, and many toys are pushed to the bottom of the box after being played with for a few times, and are rarely dug out again. When people of our generation were young, our family\’s economic conditions were generally not very good, and there were very few toys, so we always felt a little regretful. When I was a kid, I had a low-quality Barbie doll, which was the only \”high-end\” toy I had. I played with it for several years. Later, this favorite toy was taken into the kennel by the family\’s puppy, and the skirt was torn to pieces. I was so anxious that I chased and beat the puppy while crying. My grandma saw that I was crying so sadly, so she comforted me and said, \”Don\’t cry, grandma will make a new skirt for your doll.\” So, my grandma took out her red tattered autumn clothes and tore it off from the top. I used a piece of cloth to make a new skirt for Barbie. I was so happy… Now that I think about it, grandma\’s craftsmanship is really magical. Perhaps it was because of this small regret when I was a child that when I had a child of my own, I was no longer willing to treat her badly. Any toys she likes will be bought as long as they are not unreasonable. Whenever she has free time, she goes online to look for nice clothes, skirts, and shoes. She must dress her children up beautifully. However, after we provide our children with countless toys, endless clothes, and endless snacks, do they really become happier and more grateful? I find more and more that this is not the case. The abundance of life and the variety of choices have also brought a lot of anxiety and troubles to children, and even given birth to some bad habits. Let’s give a real example: My daughter has two bundles of colored pencils and a bunch of erasers. She only uses them for drawing and can’t write many words, so she uses them very slowly. One day, I suddenly found her cutting the rubber with a knife, cutting it into small pieces, and then throwing it away after she had enough fun. I was very angry and asked her why she wasted things and would never buy them again. She lowered her head and muttered timidly: \”The rubber is so big that it can never be used up and I can\’t buy new ones…\” Later, I talked about this matter with several mothers whose children had just entered elementary school. He said that his own children also have this phenomenon. If the eraser is used too slowly, he will cut it and play with it. If the pencil is used slowly, he will sharpen it. If he can’t finish half a page of a book, he will turn the page. The toys will be broken after a few days. Keep buying new ones…Actually, do you think these children really have bad behavior and love to destroy things? It\’s not that serious, it\’s just that too many choices makeThey feel a little lost and a little distracted. Things that are easy to obtain will lose interest in a few days, and then you will look forward to new ones. In this state of \”loving the new and hating the old\”, the happiness that children get from everything is reduced, and their happiness becomes lower. Too many choices can really affect children’s concentration. Teacher Chen Qi from the Chinese Academy of Sciences once shared in the “Parents’ Must-Read Lecture” that many of today’s children are faced with “choice confusion,” which is distracting. It attracts children\’s attention and makes them frizzy in study and life. The famous American psychologist Barry Schwartz once conducted an interesting experiment: he randomly divided the children who participated in the test into two groups, and the test content was to draw with a paintbrush. Children in the first group can only choose one paintbrush from 3 brushes; while children in the second group can choose one paintbrush from 24 paintbrushes. As a result, the second group of children, who had more choices, did much worse work than the first group. Afterwards, the researchers conducted another test on both groups of children. Start by letting the children choose a favorite paintbrush that they can take away. After the children had made their choices, the researcher came in with other small gifts and tried to change the paintbrushes in the children\’s hands. As a result, the second group of children, who had more options, were more likely to give up their paintbrushes than the first group. Although this experiment cannot be generalized, it at least reminds people that too many choices are not necessarily a good thing for children, and have an impact on children\’s concentration and sense of cherishment. Now looking back and thinking about it, why do many primary school children always get distracted in class and can\’t sit still when doing homework? This is somewhat related to \”choice confusion\”. Before going to school, I was distracted in front of piles of toys. After going to school, the problem of distraction will definitely show up in learning. Children’s toys, these five categories are the best. Since too many choices may have a negative impact on children, how do you control the number? Teacher Chen Qi from the Chinese Academy of Sciences said that it is enough to leave five different categories of toys for children, with three or four in each category. If the number of toys is too small, it will not be conducive to the development of children\’s abilities and may easily cause children to have an inferiority complex; if there are too many toys, it may cause distraction. The 5 categories of classic toys include: (1) Plush and soft cloth: such as plush bears and rag dolls. This type of toy should be the first thing that all children come into contact with. The skin-friendly, soft and comfortable touch is very similar to the mother\’s arms. It can give children a sense of security and is also a good friend who is alive in the eyes of children. (2) Assembling puzzles: such as building blocks, magnetic patches, and plasticine. These toys are very simple, but the ways to play them are endless, which are very conducive to developing children\’s spatial imagination and hands-on ability. (3) Sports: such as balls, skipping ropes, shovels, and buckets. This type of toys can well exercise children\’s small muscles and small bones, promote the coordination of brain and limbs, and is crucial to children\’s physical development. (4) Graffiti: such as small blackboards, small drawing boards, watercolor pens, and drawing books. Doodling and drawing everywhere is the favorite thing for children when they first come into contact with \”pens\”. It is very helpful for developing children\’s wild imagination. (5) Music: such as trumpet, trumpetWhistle, toy piano. The pursuit of sound and melody is a child\’s nature. If you protect your child\’s music hobby, you may be able to discover a little musical genius. There are 5 major categories, three or four in each category, totaling 15 to 20, which is not too few. This can not only satisfy the child\’s little vanity, but also not distract the child\’s attention too much. 5 sets of clothes and 3 pairs of shoes. Many mothers become very \”spend\” after giving birth to children. Children\’s clothes are very cute, so buy them; children\’s clothes are on sale, buy them… However, children are very fast. Last year, they \”chopped their hands\” \”The small clothes I have hoarded may not fit me this year; and there are many discounted clothes online. The pictures look good, but when I buy them I find that the quality is very poor… Looking at the pile of bargains in the closet, I can neither wear them nor wear them. I couldn\’t bear to throw it away, it was really depressing. In fact, if you think about it carefully, after the child is 4 years old, five sets of clothes every quarter are enough to cope with daily changes; as for shoes, three or four pairs are enough. Japanese clutter management master Eiko Yamashita put forward the famous concept of \”disposal\”, which is really useful for modern people\’s life philosophy: \”disposal\” = not buying or collecting unnecessary things; \”disposal\” = getting rid of things piled up at home. Use things; Li = give up the obsession with material things and let yourself be in a spacious, comfortable and free space. If you think about it carefully, it is indeed the case. The environment has a great impact on people\’s mood. A simple and tidy room can make adults and children feel comfortable and focus more on parent-child games; while a messy room filled with clothes and toys can not only make people feel depressed, but also easily make children develop sloppy and unmotivated behaviors. Understand the bad habits of storage.