Whether you have a good relationship with your children or not, you will understand in one read: The 2017 National Parent-Child Relationship Report is released

In traditional Chinese social habits, many parents lack correct communication methods when getting along with their children, and often resort to \”stick education.\” Children\’s lives have been under the control of their parents for a long time, lacking independent space, and their mental health is not paid attention to. \”Stick education\” harms children throughout their lives! Let’s take a look at two examples that grew up under stick education: Idol Drama Queen: Chen Qiaoen, the idol drama queen who is lively, cute, optimistic and strong, and always shows positive energy to others, is a child who has been beaten by his mother since he was a child. In the programs \”Tornado Filial Son\” and \”Quiet Distance\”, Chen Qiaoen mentioned: \”I have lived in fear since I was a child. I am very afraid of my mother.\” When she was a child, she was often beaten by her mother, and was even hit by her mother with a dead branch. Bleeding became a psychological shadow that she could not let go of. It also made her withdrawn and not good at communicating with others. △\”Mom\’s footsteps are getting closer and closer from the stairs…she is going to beat me!\” The most terrifying thing about being beaten by parents is not the physical pain; it is that when the child is beaten, the child is beaten without dignity by the parents. Treatment; what\’s even scarier than this is the unpredictability – you don\’t know when you will step on a landmine, and violence and humiliation will come. Famous CCTV anchor: Dong Qing Dong Qing also grew up under the high pressure of her father. In 2015, in the \”Challenge the Impossible\” program, Dong Qing cried bitterly when she mentioned her father. It turned out that Dong Qing\’s father was very strict during her childhood. \”Every morning she ran a thousand meters on the playground, and was not allowed to look in the mirror, had to recite poems and ancient prose, and did not let her mother make new clothes for her.\” These childhood \”shadows\”, It was quite destructive to Dong Qing, who was still a little girl at the time, and even made her doubt whether she was her biological daughter. Maybe you will say, look at how successful they are now, each and every one of them has a successful career, no wonder it is said that \”under the stick, not only filial sons can be produced, but also talented men can be produced.\” But the parent-child rift caused by stick education cannot be covered up by these external achievements and honors. When children grow up, even if parents want to get along well with their children, the damaged parent-child relationship will be difficult to repair. △When he grew up, Jon understood that his mother\’s beating and scolding him when he was a child was also a sign of her love for him, but he was still not used to getting close to his mother. △Dong Qing also said on many occasions that she owes her current success to her father, but really We are very envious of the wonderful parent-child memories that we can have since childhood. We are not opposed to strict education of children, but it is too strict, even forceful corporal punishment, beating or scolding, and there are many examples of forcing children into desperate situations and even leading to tragedies. Make the child lose confidence, make him feel that he is a useless person, or make him strongly demand respect from others. Hurt your child\’s self-esteem. Some children become more and more \”skinned\” as they are beaten, and develop from being rebellious and confrontational to being self-defeating and self-defeating. Forcing children to lie. Some children are frightened by the pressure from their parents and surrender on the surface but dissatisfied on the inside. They have learned to act according to the prevailing circumstances and the bad character of acting based on other people\’s faces. It is easy for children to develop a irritable character. Frequent spanking not only makes children have a irritable character, but also sets an example of aggression in their behavior. Some children run away from home, wander around the society, and eventually turn to the road of crime. This has nothing to do with the beating and scolding of their parents.Tie. It causes parents to lose their prestige in the eyes of their children. 4 Tips for Building a Good Parent-Child Relationship Fortunately, the new generation of parents has gradually abandoned the \”stick education\” family education method. \”Encouragement, communication, and respect\” are the expressions and communication methods that new generation parents are most willing to use. According to the \”2017 National Family Parent-Child Relationship Report\” released on September 19, 2017, 59% of single parents will kiss their children and say \”I love you\” in parent-child communication, and 54.9% of single-parent families will \”very much\” spend time with their children. \”Patient\” or \”relatively patient\”. When making decisions, working mothers or stay-at-home mothers are willing to listen to their children\’s opinions. Nearly 30% of stay-at-home mothers think it is \”very necessary\” to consult their children\’s opinions when they disagree with their children. 42% of parents born in the 1980s and 34.6% of parents born in the 90s are Parents will then decide together with their children. However, parents should also avoid going to the other extreme, which is \”pampering education\”, because the harm caused to children by excessive pampering cannot be underestimated. To maintain a good parent-child relationship, parents should firmly master the following skills: Remember your role: A parent\’s job is to protect their child while preparing him to grow up. More important than being a friend to your child is being a leader and a patient teacher. ① Don’t be a “judge”, learn to be a “lawyer”. What’s wrong with your children? Don’t be impatient to become a “judge”, judge mistakes and impose punishments. Instead, you must treat your clients like a “lawyer”, understand their inner needs, and The only purpose is always to safeguard their legal rights. ② Don’t be a “referee”, learn to be a “cheerleader” In the arena of life, children can only work hard on their own. Parents can neither replace their children, nor should they act as \”referees\” on their own. Instead, they should give their children the power of a \”cheerleader\”, be good at discovering and praising their children, and guide their children to face failures correctly and be their children\’s guide before setbacks. Comrades. This can help children build self-confidence. ③Don’t be a “trainer”, learn to be a “mirror”. Children can defeat themselves only by knowing themselves, but they usually can only know themselves based on the feedback of others. At this time, the role of parents’ “feedback”, that is, the role of the mirror, is very important. . Only by not being a \”trainer\” but by learning to be a \”mirror\” can we help children improve their self-awareness, and prevent children from being afraid of their parents\’ \”authority\” and instead communicate with their parents. Parent-Child Communication Skills Set aside a certain amount of time with your children, such as during meals and leisure time. Don’t nag too much, listen more to your child, and be a “safe” person for your child to talk to. When your children make the right decision or do something, take the opportunity to praise them. Praise makes them feel that their decisions and successes are valued, and their abilities are affirmed. When encountering problems, don’t be quick to get angry. Teach your children how to control their emotions and stress. Tell your children clearly what you expect of them and be consistent so that they have a \”law\” to follow so that they will know more clearly what they should do. Giving children a certain amount of space and private territory The biggest challenge for parents is how to balance maintaining a close relationship with their children while giving them a certain amount of space and private territory. It\’s really not easyDo it. But this is necessary for children who are becoming more and more independent. Don’t stare at your child all the time and make the decision for your child in everything. Give your child some private space, opportunities and rights to choose, and let him freely choose his partners and friends and do what he wants to do. In such a parent-child relationship, giving your child space means giving yourself space. When he understands that you have given in, your child will understand better what love and trust are. Be a real person, not a superman. If you want your children to become trustworthy, responsible and loving people, parents should set an example so that their children can often see these shining points in you in their lives. If you find that you have made mistakes and shortcomings, admit it and express your apology to your child when appropriate. Tell your children that their parents are just like them, trying to be a better person.