Child, sometimes I would rather you not be kind

In the past few days, \”Jiang Ge\’s murder case in Tokyo\” has frightened mothers. On November 3, 2016, Jiang Ge, a 24-year-old Qingdao girl studying in Japan, was stabbed ten times by her ex-boyfriend Chen Shifeng in order to protect her friend Liu Xin. She was stabbed to death and fell at the door of her rented apartment. But 294 days later, Liu Xin, who was protected by his friends with his life, faced Jiang Ge\’s mother for the first time and explained what happened. Liu Xin\’s evasion and ruthlessness are chilling. What kind of person she is can no longer be defined. The experience of Jiang Ge, a kind-hearted girl who defended her friend from a knife, is heartbreaking. When she fell in a pool of blood with no one to help her, her kindness became a life-threatening knife. As a parent, when I saw this incident, in addition to condemning Liu Xin, I also involved myself in it. What would I do if this happened to my child? Facing the devil, do you choose to stand up and block the knife with kindness? I don\’t think any parent would want their children to do this. Son, sometimes I\’d rather you weren\’t kind. When we say this, we feel deeply helpless and uneasy. As a parent, no one will teach their children to abandon their good nature. It\’s just that when we tell our children to be kind and believe in the good in the world, we also tell them to be careful about the evil in the world. Because the evil people in this world do evil things that kind people would never think of. I still remember a heartbreaking case in 2013. Hu Yixuan, a 17-year-old girl, was on her way to a classmate\’s house when she met a pregnant woman who was pretending to have a stomachache and asked her to help her get home upstairs. After sending the pregnant woman upstairs, her husband who was waiting at home looked fierce. They wanted to sexually assault the girl, but the girl resisted and the two men covered her head with a quilt and suffocated her to death. How evil can human nature be? Mr. Lu Xun once wrote in \”In Memory of Mr. Liu Hezhen\”, \”I have never been afraid to speculate on the Chinese people with the worst malice. However, I did not expect and did not believe that they would be so cruel.\” The ferocity of this pregnant woman made the People point their fingers. In the Korean movie \”Sowon\”, the lively and cute 8-year-old Sowon meets a drunk uncle on a rainy morning. The uncle asked Suyuan: \”Can you let me hold your umbrella?\” The kind-hearted child did not realize that this was a demon more ferocious than a wolf. The kind-hearted Suyuan couldn\’t bear her strange uncle to get wet in the rain. However, what she didn\’t know was that this kindness had brought harm that she would never be able to get rid of. The drunkard dragged Suyuan to an abandoned factory and brutally sexually assaulted her. It caused indelible damage to her young mind and body. She had to live in an external toilet bag for the rest of her life, and the inner damage was beyond healing. Suyuan doesn\’t even know what she did wrong? If this injury had not happened, many people would have praised her as \”kind\” for holding an umbrella for a strange uncle. There are also parents who will teach their children to learn from Suyuan and be a child who knows how to help others. It’s just that many people don’t explain this “other” clearly to their children. Teachers don’t, and neither do parents. The kind-hearted children regard the evil people as normal \”others\”, and tragedy occurs. In life, we will meet some people who we only meet once or twice.People, when they see you, they come over to you with enthusiasm. Then pinch and hug the child\’s face. Then I asked the child with a smile: \”How old are you? What\’s your name? Where do you study?\” At that time, I was taking my son to work in the warehouse downstairs. An aunt often asked her son this. I remember that the little guy ignored me at that time. The aunt was a little unhappy and said, \”Why doesn\’t your child like to talk a lot?\” \”Oh, maybe he didn\’t hear clearly. He only understands Mandarin.\” Then the aunt asked again in Mandarin. My son still didn\’t get along and continued to do his own thing. \”This kid!\” \”Sorry, he is like this. Maybe he thought the book was good, but he didn\’t hear it.\” In fact, I support my son in my heart. Because that aunt was not familiar with me, and she was even more of a stranger to him. Friends all know that the little guy is an out-and-out chatterbox, so why won’t he talk to you? In fact, this is a kind of self-protection for children. Parents should stand by their children. You can\’t just say \”Hurry up, be polite, be friendly!\” Some adults can\’t keep it off their faces and even attack their children directly, for fear that the children won\’t say hello to strangers. We can teach our children to be kind, but we have to make choices. Being kind to a frozen snake, he covered it, only to be killed by its fangs. Such kindness is not worth it. Sometimes, we face unreasonable requests. Kind people are always embarrassed to say \”no\”. As a result, I got dragged into the quagmire. We have to tell our children that compared with blind kindness. Having a sense of self-protection and being considerate is the first priority. I always have beautiful expectations for this world. So I still tell fairy tales to my children. Fortunately, good fairy tales also have stories about evil people. There is an evil queen in Snow White who wants to kill her. There are also kind-hearted dwarfs who help her, and finally she can live happily with the prince. When talking to your children about the world, be hopeful and tell them about the dangers. When telling fairy tales, you can\’t just dream of a happy ending with your children. You might as well think about ways to deal with the devils. Only by exposing all these evils can goodness and beauty take root and sprout. Children sometimes often ask us questions about good and evil. I will tell my son truthfully, \”There are bad people in this world, so you have to protect yourself.\” \”Thieves and robbers are all bad people, right, dad?\” \”Yes, these are all bad people, but there are some people who you can\’t tell are bad people, but they are really bad people. You should Be on guard.\” \”Sometimes, bad guys will pretend to be your friends and hide quietly next to you.\” At this point, the child is confused and asks how to tell the difference? \”Don\’t believe the adults who ask you for help, because adults don\’t need to ask children for help.\” \”Don\’t believe those who try to show you kindness for no apparent reason, because bad people will pretend to be very enthusiastic.\” \”Actually, there are many, many more. Dad will tell you slowly that you must learn to protect yourself. You are still young now, so study hard first so that your parents and teachers can still take care of you.\” A few days ago, a mother said that her six-year-old child wanted to go to school by himself. The journey lasted more than 20 minutes. My daughter wanted to prove that she was capable.Finished walking. But my mother was worried, so she followed quietly. Did she say she was being overprotective by doing this? I said this is normal protection, and you must not let go of safety issues too early. There are thousands of kinds of people in this world. Because when children are not yet able to distinguish right from wrong, they are not yet capable enough to protect themselves. Parents must keep their eyes open and work hard to protect the health and well-being of their children. Of course, when we tell the story, we should not frighten the children. It will be counterproductive to make the children feel insecure. At the same time, tell your children that your parents will protect you with their lives, so you must rest assured. In addition, you can tell your children that there are still more good people than bad people in this world.