By giving birth to a second child this way, the mother can save 3 years of hard work!

With the opening of the two-child policy, more and more families are beginning to consider having a second child, but what is the most appropriate interval between two children? My cousin left a message in the background and saw different opinions: It would be better to have a baby in a few years, and the older ones know how to be humble and give in to the younger ones. It\’s better to have children earlier. With two kids at the same time, it will be tiring in the first few years, but worry-free in the later years. In fact, judging from the actual situation, the time interval between the birth of Dabao and Erbao has its own advantages and disadvantages. The age difference between the two children is more than 3 years old. The advantage is that Dabao is already sensible and can help parents take care of Xiaobao. Dabao does not require parents to spend too much energy. Parents have rich experience in taking care of older babies, which can improve the efficiency of educating younger babies. Dabao sets a good example for Xiaobao, saving parents a lot of energy in feeding and education. Disadvantages: Paying too much attention to Xiao Bao (Xiao Bao has more physiological needs and gets more companionship) leads to Dabao\’s psychological imbalance. Two children may go through sensitive periods or rebellious periods at the same time, but in completely different ways and styles, placing higher demands on the parents\’ educational capabilities. The concept of \”big give way to small\” led to the psychological imbalance of the two children. The pampered partner may become indulgent and self-centered, while the suppressed partner may become more tolerant, inferior, or resentful. The advantage is that the age difference between the two children is less than 3 years old. The age difference between the two children is small and there is little generation gap, which makes it easier for parents to take care of and educate them at the same time. There is healthy competition in the development of behavioral habits. For example, when eating, see who eats faster. Problem-solving and interpersonal skills improve rapidly. With a small age gap, parents are less likely to take sides, leaving children to solve interpersonal and other problems on their own. Disadvantages: There are more conflicts between children of similar age, such as fighting for toys or food, or competing for parents\’ love, which requires parents to have more advanced conflict mediation skills. Parents will go through a dark period, which will bring greater difficulties to the physical recovery of parents, especially mothers. The small age gap between the two children makes parents very anxious and easily neglects the cultivation of their children\’s emotional intelligence, number calculation and reading ability between the ages of 3 and 6. Is the age difference absolute? Due to differences in family style, composition and cultural background, the optimal age gap for second children is of course not absolute. The key is whether parents can be prepared to deal with the pros and cons brought about by different age differences after sufficient physical and economic preparation. Anji is 3 years older than Xiao Yuer, and Dono is more than 1 year older than Nina. As long as the parents educate them well, no matter how big or small the age gap between the second children is, Dabao will care for Xiaobao, and Xiaobao will be more dependent on Dabao. If parents\’ education is not appropriate, the possibilities mentioned above may even be the opposite in individual families. In a family with a large age gap, Dabao not only failed to serve as a role model, but actually regressed in behavior in order to compete for favor, in order to make his parents love him as much as they loved Xiaobao. Therefore, the age difference is not the only factor that determines the education of two children and family happiness. It is also necessary to consider various factors such as the parents’ educational ability, marital relationship, and cultural background. What should parents do in a family with two children? 1. The mother should be physiologically prepared. From a physiological point of view, it is best for the health of the mother and the baby to get pregnant 1.5 to 2 years after giving birth (the children are 2 to 3 years apart); after a caesarean section, the mother\’s body It takes longer to recover and the interval should be longer. But if the distance between the second tires is too large or tooSmall, as long as scientific care is taken during pregnancy, there will be no problem. 2. Do a good job in the psychological construction of Dabao. From a psychological point of view, if the mother does not do a good job in psychological construction in the early stage when she is pregnant with the baby, it is likely that the Dabao will extremely reject the baby. Dabao\’s behavior can become strange and dangerous. For example, when Dabao was playing with his mother, he would hit his mother\’s belly intentionally or unintentionally, and he would often be moody or unreasonable. These behaviors of Dabao may be unconscious, but this tendency to reject or even \”resent\” Xiaobao is very obvious. Before giving birth to a baby, parents should prepare the baby mentally: \”You are already a big child, and you can love and care for the baby with your mother.\” You can also tell your children through games, videos, picture books, etc. that they have a younger brother or sister. You are no longer lonely, and your parents will give you the same love as always. 3. \”A bowl of water should be held flat\” and \”the palms and backs of the hands should be full of flesh.\” Which of the two children should be modest? You cannot educate your children simply by using the concepts of \”Kong Rong gives way to pears\” or \”The older one gives way to the younger one\”. It doesn\’t mean that older children have to be humble, nor does older children have to have more rights. Treat two children equally and fairly, and be reasonable regardless of age, so that you can better mediate the conflicts between the two children. 4. Carry out more love rituals. Parents can hold love rituals at important moments such as before going to bed and after meals every day. For example, before going to bed, two children sit on the bed and hold hands for a loving hug. The parents told the two children that they can help each other the most in this world and that they should cherish family friendship. Such loving \”brainwashing\” every day has a very significant effect on optimizing the conflict between the two children.